"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Beginning of Relationship Gap Time

Abcd

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I'm a junior in college. I met this very cool, very hot girl about a month ago at an Action Darfur rally, and msgd her on facebook. We ended up going out a few times, and turned out to have a friend in common. We went out once for coffee, then once on a sort of double date with this couple we're mutual friends with, then went to a talk together... Before i knew it two or three weeks had passed, spring break was coming up, and though I was virtually certain this girl was interested romantically, I hadn't had the opportunity to kiss her. Finally, a day before she was leaving to go climbing in mexico, I went to a career fair with her, and when I was leaving I told her to walk me out. When we went for the usual hug in the hall outside, I leaned in for a kiss - I figured I couldn't let it wait over spring break. It was a mechanically awkward kiss, but she was receptive, smiled a lot, and I told her goodbye and I'd see her after break.

Now we're going back to college in a couple days. It's wierd to have a gap like this where we haven't talked at all after a first kiss like that. How should I pick up where I left off? Normally I'd ask the girl out to do something romantic, and go for some making out and lots of cuddly stuff immediately, considering that we'd already had the prerequisite kiss. But with this big delay, I feel like our personalities are going to lead us back into a more friendly type of date. Any ideas on how/when to restart things? Most people go back on Sunday, should I call her on Sunday afternoon? Or wait until monday, or midweek?

Kinda awkward
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Abcd

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Bump

Hey, I need some advice on this for tonight- should i call her today or wait a day or two? I think we've both been thinking about each other for the last week, and I'm sure she'd like to get the call, but I'm worried about seeming too on top of things.
 

JesterX

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Just ring her and ask her how her trip was then when you two get talking ask her out again, if shes still interested she will be willing.
 

Xtravaganza

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Tell her to cook come over and cook for you. Get yourself a bottle of wine.

Next week, let us know how it went.

BTW, kissing her doesn't mean you're in a relationship.

Edit: don't act like the boyfriend. Just be the awesome guy who seduced her some months ago.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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biker_gixxer

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How should I pick up where I left off?

I wouldn't try to pick up where you left off, based on what I've read. It doesn't sound like you had very much going with this girl aside from a mechnical kiss.

Take this opportunity to use a different approach. Don't ask her out to do something romantic and don't try cuddling with the girl, that's just boring. She has 'romance' thrown at her 100 times a week. Instead, throw some 'fun' at her, get her stimulated, get her excited.

When you call her (if you haven't already), don't ask her about her trip, save that for later when you see her in person. Call her up, tell her 'let's get together so we can get caught up', and end the conversation.
 

Abcd

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Booyah

Soooo, we went out for coffee, and then kissed outside for a couple minutes afterwars. Lamest date ever, but the hottest girl i've ever kissed... i guess you can afford to go on lame dates if the girl actually likes you. She's gonna be away for the weekend, but wants to hang out soon, "before, hopefully"

time to get dinner and then (not) watch a movie on my couch
 
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