"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Before I jump into a LTR...

Finch

Don Juan
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I've recently been seeing this really cute girl that I'm beginning to become crazy about. She's smart, sweet, fun, and everything in general that I'm looking for in a girl. She's very beautiful which makes her open to flirting from all sorts of guys. I don't doubt that she'd be loyal though.

I'm not too sure if I want to jump into a relationship just yet. What are some good ways to test her and see if she is truly LTR quality. And lastly what are some ways from preventing me from becoming too into her too early. I fear that I've already started falling for her and that scares me for the simple fact that I'm worried that it will screw up my game and it'll leave me heart broken in the end.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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tmpgstx

Master Don Juan
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You've already fallen for her Dawg. A guy that wants an LTR is gonna be the guy that gets oneitis, and the guys just out to get chics will not have this problem.

So herein lies the problem. If she is decent, you don't want to have the rep of going around hitting on her friends, but yourself want to come across as LTR material to her.

The only way of testing her is getting to know her better. If she flakes out, then she is an AW that isn't interested. If she says no up front, then she isn't interested. If her past isn't littered with abusive losers, then she's LTR material. If she isn't overly religious, then she's LTR material. Get knowing her to find these things out.

Just don't show your oneitis, but show some interest. Keep your mind off her by doing other things when not around her.
 

padrote

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I admire you for assuming that you can just jump into a LTR. I can't get a girl to stick with me for longer than a month :).
 

Finch

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I do have a problem with Oneits. I had it with my ex-girlfriend, but it wasn't a problem in our relationship. In fact, I'm sure she probably had no idea at the time that I had it for her.

tmpgstx, you have some good advice. I've been getting to know her and she truly does qualify for a LTR. I think I'm ready to take the next step.

padrote, I guess it is somewhat conceded to assume that this will result in a LTR, but that is exactly what her and I are looking for. We've been talking about this for some time. I work well in LTRs, but as always, there are issues that come up that I may not be prepared to deal with.

I guess the key is to keep in effect the DJ qualities while promoting the essential qualities of a good boyfriend. I am pretty confident that I can keep my oneits on standby.
 

Desdinova

Master Don Juan
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The only "test" you can preform is the test of time. This woman may have everything you're looking for in a woman, but if she doesn't want to be in a LTR, she's not going to stay. There is no ring, no ceremony, no nothing to graduate into a LTR. You basically need to see how things progress with time. Have you exchanged "I Love Yous" yet? Have you been with her for more than a couple of months? Have you talked about future plans with each other? Have you had sex with her?

Many LTRs don't start because you've both come to a mutual decision. They start because of elapsed time.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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