Baggage Coming My Way

[Disco]

So I've been talking to this really cute girl, she's outgoing etc. Thing is she has let me in on some baggage and now I'm weighing it all in.

1 - Her mother left her family at 3.

2 - Her dad remarried, step mom died at 16.

3 - Her dad is married again, she doesn't seem to have a solid relationship with her new step-mom, but she doesn't live at home.

4 - She had a 7 year relationship, guy got anther girl pregnant during this time...she stayed with the guy for another year.


All signs say steer clear!

 

[BADA-BING]

Yeah, sounds like she might have some isssues to be dealt with.

Check to see if she has sought after proffessional help. Other wise I wouldn't mess with her.

 

[High Voltage]

I'm surprised you're thinking of passing this girl over simply because of past events she had no control over. If she truly does have a good personality like you say, why would you ditch her? Perhaps these issues in her life have allowed her superior abilities to deal with hardship and adversity?

As to the 7-year relationship dealie that is a little odd but maybe she was "in love" with this guy and really wanted it to work. Are you surprised that she doesn't have a solid relationship with her step mom? Think about it - it could be a defense mechanism. Two other "moms" in her life have disappeared, maybe she doesn't want to get too close so she'll be spared the pain when this one vanishes. Plus this woman isn't her "mother", just a stranger who lives with her dad. Just my perspective.

I would say go for it. It's not like you're asking to marry her. If she turns into someone you don't like *then* ditch her.

- HV

 

[maranathaman]

Everybody has SOME baggage in their life!
We live in a world where bad things happen to good people all the time.
Just because a girl has had some bad things happen in her life,
doesn't nessesarily mean she's a basketcase.
Just be aware of her history, and cautiously proceed forward.
See how she turns-out to be. Don't allow yourself to get emotionally attached until you have a solid understanding(well as much as is possible with a female!) of her personality.
Another thing, even if she turns-out to have a couple of screws loose, alot of times the "crazy" chicks are the HOTTEST vixens in bed!
A "crazy" chick just might be the freakiest sex you ever had!
Just take it a day at a time to evaluate whether she's worth your efforts or not.

 

[Disco]

True, I wouldn't ditch her b/c of that...just a thought. Plus I have tons of baggage but mine aren't that kind.

 

[_XT_]

Reasons 1 - 3 were out of her control so they're not so bad. Reason 4 is the worry, sounds like low self-esteem.

But the positive side is that you can get another girl pregnant and she won't care

Seriously though keep seeing her if you really dig this chick, and if she starts stacking her baggage onto you.... leave

 

[Hollowpoint]

What they said, good advice though I just skimmed, hahah.

Show her you are/will be the stability point in her life.
Let her know that you understand (bring up something in your life if possible) but that you want you and her to start "fresh" and not dwell on the past negatives.

Go for it.