Attracting, not chasing

[thedeparted]

Most of what I'm seeing online here is about pursuing women. What about the other approach -- letting them pursue you?

In my case, I have a lot of talents, but women ain't one of them. So, I am thinking that I should analyze the marginal return of investing in DJ skills -- vs. the return of investing further in my talents.

B/c when I look in the past, I see I got way more play than today and that was the Big Fish/Small Pond syndrome. Now, I'm like a minnow in the ocean. You can teach a minnow to swim like hell, it's still a minnow.

Specifically, there is a real time commitment to DJ stuff, I'm finding out, and that committment will generate puzzy. But the same time committment might generate you success in another venue -- which will also generate you puzzy. And the rate of return may be low on the DJ stuff, if you are starting late, and high on the other stuff, where you are already great.

So, for example, the dorky guy who sticks it out in med school ends up being a surgeon -- and pulling hot tail. He's still AFC -- but he's a surgeon AFC, so it doesn't matter. If he spent all the time sarging, he'd be a DJ -- but maybe not a doctor. You see what I'm getting at? All the DJ skills in the world won't stand up to a rich doctor in a woman's mind.

I started thinking about this b/c in business, esp. small ones, a little PR is way more cost-effective than a lot of cold-calling. I wonder if anyone else has looked at it this way...

 

[MotownMack]

All the DJ skills in the world won't stand up to a rich doctor in a woman's mind.

I don't see it this way. The doctor may be able to gain some status, but if he is an AFC, he will still get gamed. Period. What you're learning now will help you and life is about balance. Learn to game and improve other areas of your life at the same time-they are not mutually exclusive.

 

[Blackmm]

I don't see it this way. The doctor may be able to gain some status, but if he is an AFC, he will still get gamed. Period. What you're learning now will help you and life is about balance. Learn to game and improve other areas of your life at the same time-they are not mutually exclusive.

A lot of doctors wives are sleeping with the pool boy/gardener. i wonder why?

 

[MotownMack]

A lot of doctors wives are sleeping with the pool boy/gardener. i wonder why?

Exactly.

The theory that is applicable here is know in psychology circles as "secondary gain".

As it applies to dating, it would entail a woman liking you for things like social status, profession, and wealth. These obviously help, assuming that YOU have the capability to weed out the ones that ONLY derive their attraction for you (or 80% of it) from these attributes. You may not always be where you are in these categories, and once they are gone or their novelty wears off, things will go down hill quickly.

Enter pool boy.

My theory is use everything you have at your disposal to get what you want, even the secondary attributes listed above. The ball is then in your court, and then it's your job to go about figuring which ones have true LTR because they're into YOU, versus the ones that are just smitten about you on paper.

 

[chancer]

A doctor doesn't become a doctor to get women. He focuses on his dreams and pursues them. It's great that you have many talents, keep doing what you do. But I picture what others are talking about. You want your girl to like you, not your profession or how much money you have. You're simply investing into yourself. The confidence you gain is invaluable. Most of your time spent should be out talking to and datings girls, not on this site. But after you get the experiences come back for second so you figure out what's going on, get passed the frustrations, and get back out there. How much of an investment is it really?