Attitude: indifference vs express interest

[JHeights83rd]

I always have a problem with this. When I talk to a girl, i normally try to give her good convo but im indifferent that means not being a fiend for female affection and kino. But when i have this mindset, good convo and indifference, i never express interest physically. For me, thats a whole other mindset, i can just let it go naturally and express interest. But also expressing interest is like the opposite of indifference.

also confidence.
Confidence, by definition, is expecting a positive result. So how do you have the mindsets:
“I’m gonna act and expect this chick to be feeling me” (confidence) and “I don’t care whether you like me or not” (indifference)
any help appreciated.

 

[Fender]

Hey there JHeights83rd,

I used to ask the exact same questions as you just did a few months back. But what I've found is that indifference is pretty useless for attracting chicks and for social interactions on the whole.

Your attitude shoudln't be "I don't care what you think." No one likes a self centred bastid'

It should be the confident attitude of "This girl loves me. I don't have to kiss arse to get her to love me."

The main problem with being indifferent is that it gives off a cold vibe (which is not what you want). Also, its pretty much faking/acting (if you were REALLY indifferent, you wouldn't be asking this quesiton on an internet forum).

But it all boils down to whether you prefer direct or indirect game.

Direct game (where you show her your interested) is more genuine, but will require more cahones because she might reject you.

Indirect game (where you "pretend" you have no interest in her) is all acting, but provides slightly better protection for the ego.

Your choice mate!

p.s. this belongs in the discussion forum.

 

[Cruise]

Sounds all pretty manipulative and self-deceiving when used as a vice.

Naturally, the breakdown is like this: If you're really not interested in what she's saying/doing, then STOP PRETENDING like you ARE. Let your interests be first. It's your reality, she's just a guest.

Then, if she DOES say something that really is of interest to you, respond accordingly.

The key here, when done naturally, is authenticity and real courage to be yourself, regardless of her response or any other ******d stimulant.


Be the king of your own jungle. Don't conform to techniques if it means sacrificing your deepest values. Chicks aren't that important.

 

[comote]

Indifference is not the way, showing interest is where it's at. Really, show interest but keep it in the back of your mind that she may not reciprocate.

Oh yeah you have a skewed view of confidence, real confidence is realizing that even if you don't get her(or whatever else you are going after), you'll be ok with that.

 

[MVP]

also confidence.
Confidence, by definition, is expecting a positive result. So how do you have the mindsets:
“I’m gonna act and expect this chick to be feeling me” (confidence) and “I don’t care whether you like me or not” (indifference)
any help appreciated.

Good question. You are confusing arrogance with confidence. A person who is arrogant has an excessive amount of pride and ego and would be very hurt if the girl doesn't like him. Having confidence means you expect the girl to like you and be ok if she doesn't.

 

[Bigworm]

people knock on indirect game, but i see it as a necessary skill set. many girls expecially HB's in college with supershort attention spans will runaway
if interest is expressed up front such as in direct game. TD has many great post on the great art of "active disinterest".