Congrats xblitz!xblitz44x said:
Thought I'd pop my head in and I stumble across this!
Of course I can't resist offering my two cents along with hearty congratulations at having found someone you consider worth marrying.
That peculiar, seemingly counter-intuitive statistic about marriages lasting longer among people who did NOT live together is actually true, BUT... you do have the power to overcome that statistic if you understand the reason for it.
When two people get married without having lived together that reflects a high level of committment to making the marriage work (by adjusting and growing as a person)--regardless of any minor incompatibilities that emerge after you start living together.
When you know exactly what you're getting and you think, "ok, that's perfect, I'll sign on for THAT" it simply doesn't demand the same level of commitment. That doesn't mean you CAN'T have a high level of commitment, there's just no assurance that you do. In a way you haven't been tested for it--yet.
The big surprise to come is that even though you know exactly what it's like to live with her, it is human nature for both of you to gradually change. You have not yet lived with the woman whom she will BECOME. Similarly, she hasn't yet lived with the man whom YOU will become. And THAT is where a high level of committment will be needed for the marriage to last.
Since you aren't tested for a high level of commitment when you've lived together and both know exactly what you are getting, the question after you get married will be whether or not you and she can bring forth the level of committment needed to make the marriage work LATER ON--when you're both wondering how your spouse changed so much! An inspiring movie dealing with some of these issues is, "The Story of Us" starring Bruce Willis and Michelle Pfeiffer. All that said, CONGRATULATIONS!
-DeepBlue
