At the mall

[tom121]

Everytime when I was walking in the mall, I often caught SOME girls looking straight at me after I walked by them. I see it from the corner of my eyes. I mean I wasn't smiling at them, I just looked at her to see if she's hot. She just seems to be looking at me with no expression showen (I couldn't see her face expression clearly, but I can tell she doesn't look happy or disgusted lol).

Now the thing is I would approach them if it weren't for the guy next to her or for she was with her friends, about 6 girls did the same thing. Always looking at me when I walked by them, not sure it was starring or what...


another thing is while I was mall, so this "8" chick smiled right at me (we were walking in different direction) so we had about 1.5 second eye contact. I backed off because she seem to be like 4~5 years older than me. I also checked if she was looking at anyone behind me after I walked by, no one.


Most girls seem to look at me for like 0.5 second then look away, I don't even have time to smile or greet, now I try to think funny things but it will just make me laughing instead of smiling. Plus I am not used to smile all the time, it just feels odd

 

[Julian]

This is normal man. I glimpse at most anyone who walks past me, regardless who they are....

Why not just smile and say hello?

 

[Life-Trainee]

Okkay, what have you tried?

 

[tom121]

maybe next time I should turn my neck around and see what happens

 

[PoloBlue]

I never was a smiler either, I just dont smile to strangers very often unless they keep smiling at me.

I geuss Im just too shy to smile, I try to keep a straight face so people dont know what Im thinking.

 

[Kidd]

Well, you can try approaching. Maintain eye contact and smile.

I, personally, rarely approach girls at a mall, because I am either busy with my bro's hanging out, or buying clothes and concentrated on that. If I DO approach, It does not take more than 15 minutes because I have other **** to take care of.

 

[tom121]

I hate shopping, too many goodies to choose from

constantly smiling is really hard unless I practice

for example today as I was trying, it turned into grin and I couldn't control it

do'h

 

[evolvingnerd]

i know exactly where ur coming from tom
i can only smile at someone if they do it first
else i walk around with no expression - although i can maintain eyecontact with other expressionless ppl

what i've tried is with my mp3 player and listening to some comedy - it always has me smiling and laughing to myself and i'm always in a good mood

of course though, ppl think i'm strange, and with my headphones on noone's gonna approach me anyways

 

[Alpine]

I had this sort of challenge.

Go back, and think of something that made you really happy. How did it feel?

Have you gone from one facial expression to a happy one?

Think of someone you always love to meet, maybe a dear relative or just someone you dig. Are you smiling?

(If you haven't you just read it and diddn't do it)

Rather than forcing yourself physically to do it, why not do it this way. It not only saves you trying to maintain it, but more importantly it appears genuine.

For instance a forced smile is just from the mouth, a genuine smile includes the eyes wrinkling and other things. Unconsciously we know this and pick up the vibe.

I think the reason we don't smile is the fear of rejection thing rearing it's ugly head. You smile at someone, this is an acknowledgement you like them, then they don't look/smile back, they have rejected your communication.

Or at least that's one way to look at it, and that may well be false.

Another way to view it might be to feel your just giving out a bit of your happiness as you are overflowing with it. If someone chooses not to take it onboard, they have lost it and you still have plenty to give out.

This change in the meaning of not getting a positive response from a smile has helped me no end. Instead of having to really force myself like a trial of will, it seemed quite easy after I looked at it this way. Try it.

 

[BlackDragon]

In the south, it's normal to smile. Most of the time a girl will smile at you if you hold eye conact. I dont know about the north, but I heard it isn't so friendly up there.

 

[Lan]

Originally posted by tom121
maybe next time I should turn my neck around and see what happens

This is actually correct. When they walk by you, stop, turn your head around as far as you can without moving your body to face them, and open. Use a false time constraint as well. If you deliver it well enough, they will COME BACK TO YOU.

More info on this if you want it. PM me.

--Lan

 

[h2o]

I also checked if she was looking at anyone behind me after I walked by, no one.

no offense, but that cracked me up.

I had this sort of challenge.
Go back, and think of something that made you really happy. How did it feel?

yeah, me too. Alpine suggests thinking of something that makes you happy. what i do is when i approach someone when walking, or they are approaching, i look around the environment for something funny or laughable. find something that will make you laugh, and not only will the rest come naturally, but you may have to even withhold yourself from laughing too hard. like, this morning as i was walking, this guy on the other side of the sidewalk spit, but his spit mucus was still drooling from his mouth, and he had to use his hands to detach it. sort of gross, but funny enough to give me a bit to smile about as a hbblonde walked towards me. usually each thing you find, depending how funny you find it to be, will give you a smile boost of a few minutes.

 

[tom121]

yeah I had a hard time control my smiling over something thats funny too

and if I turned around smiled at them, they didn't gave me any expression, should I approach them anyway? lol what if I turn around walking toward them, they start walking faster

 

[Spike_the_Dragon]

Originally posted by BlackDragon
In the south, it's normal to smile. Most of the time a girl will smile at you if you hold eye conact. I dont know about the north, but I heard it isn't so friendly up there.

It isn't. In fact, the further north you go, the more rude people become. Southern hospitality... theres nothing else like it!

By the way, you don't have to give a very big smile, just make it a subtile one. Tilt your head to one side while looking deeply into her eyes, and smile. This comes pretty natural if you'll just let it happen.