So, I have a coworker who I have been working with for the last month and we have great rapport and she's always smiling at me when she looks at me and laughs at everything I say. So, we have now switched assignments and are no longer working together. On the last day I mention a movie I wanted to see and she exclaimed "Do you want to go and see it with me?" excitedly. I said sure and we traded numbers. So, I told her I would call her last night and setup a time with her to see it on Friday. Anyways, I called her last night and have not received a reply. If I had been the one to ask her out, I would think for sure she wasn't interested and make other plans for Friday. Since, in this situation, she was the one to ask me out, should I go ahead and assume she changed her mind for some reason and make other plans or wait until tomorrow?
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Asks ME out and then flakes?
- Thread starter DJorBUST
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Bond...James Bond.DJorBUST said:On the last day I mention a movie I wanted to see and she exclaimed "Do you want to go and see it with me?" excitedly. I said sure and we traded numbers. So, I told her I would call her last night and setup a time with her to see it on Friday.
Right here you made a mistake. You should have set a time for the movie when you traded numbers. When you open it up to another day to contact, you are giving her several possibilities to bail, such as
1) She could be sleeping with another guy
2) She could be busy
3) She could have a headache
4) She could be going camping
5) She could be going rafting
6) She could be studying for an exam
7) She could be writing an essay
8) etc...
You have to close the deal right there.
Anyways, I called her last night and have not received a reply. If I had been the one to ask her out, I would think for sure she wasn't interested and make other plans for Friday. Since, in this situation, she was the one to ask me out, should I go ahead and assume she changed her mind for some reason and make other plans or wait until tomorrow?
Not sure where you think she asked you out. but ok. Make other plans, if she phones you back, tell her you didn't her from her and assumed she was busy.
Let me clarify, when she asked me if I wanted to see it with her, I DID setup a time and date. I said Friday at 8 pm and she thought for a second and then said it would work. So, I called her again to decide on theater to meet at. If I had planned to setup a date with her, I would have had a location picked out. However, since she asked me if I wanted to see it with her, I didn't have a location in mind (and I'm new to the area and had no idea where the theaters are). How exactly do you not see where she asked me out? She asked me if I wanted to see a specific movie with her.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Pimp-sicle
Master Don Juan
All is not lost bro. Many chicks flake on purpose in the beginning, especially when they like a guy because they want to find out how much the guy really likes them. They want the guy to pursue and they will eventually go out with them.
The problem here, is these chicks are RARELY if EVER worth the time and effort. If she's super hot then I would tread carefully, you might have an attention w-hore on your hands.
She will give you some lame excuse next time you see her at work as to why she couldn't make it. Don't sweat it, just focus on other chicks and if she comes around great, if not, then no biggie.
PIMP
The problem here, is these chicks are RARELY if EVER worth the time and effort. If she's super hot then I would tread carefully, you might have an attention w-hore on your hands.
She will give you some lame excuse next time you see her at work as to why she couldn't make it. Don't sweat it, just focus on other chicks and if she comes around great, if not, then no biggie.
PIMP
Whoa whoa whoa... same thing happend to me. This chick ASKED for my effing number... Well.. she didnt actually ask for my number.. she got a hold of it. I was spitting game at her mad crazy. and her other coworker tells me that "She has a crush on me"DJorBUST said:So, I have a coworker who I have been working with for the last month and we have great rapport and she's always smiling at me when she looks at me and laughs at everything I say. So, we have now switched assignments and are no longer working together. On the last day I mention a movie I wanted to see and she exclaimed "Do you want to go and see it with me?" excitedly. I said sure and we traded numbers. So, I told her I would call her last night and setup a time with her to see it on Friday. Anyways, I called her last night and have not received a reply. If I had been the one to ask her out, I would think for sure she wasn't interested and make other plans for Friday. Since, in this situation, she was the one to ask me out, should I go ahead and assume she changed her mind for some reason and make other plans or wait until tomorrow?
A week later, i ask her out to go hangout friday.. she says - saturday would be a good time. I said, maybe some other time.
3 weeks later, the night before she quits i told her that i would call her.
3 days later, my girl coworker tells me "guess who misses you.. she called me up last night and asked me how you were doing.. did you know she had the biggest crush on you"
1 week later, i call her up to setup a date for saturday. I told her to call me back by wednesday.. she didnt call me back (lesson learned: tell them, YOU WILL CALL THEM BACK to check up on them)
3 weeks later, she textes me saying how i am doing. i replied back but didnt make any plans with her to punish her.
Pimp-sicle
Master Don Juan
verysuave said:Whoa whoa whoa... same thing happend to me. This chick ASKED for my effing number... Well.. she didnt actually ask for my number.. she got a hold of it. I was spitting game at her mad crazy. and her other coworker tells me that "She has a crush on me"
A week later, i ask her out to go hangout friday.. she says - saturday would be a good time. I said, maybe some other time.
3 weeks later, the night before she quits i told her that i would call her.
3 days later, my girl coworker tells me "guess who misses you.. she called me up last night and asked me how you were doing.. did you know she had the biggest crush on you"
1 week later, i call her up to setup a date for saturday. I told her to call me back by wednesday.. she didnt call me back (lesson learned: tell them, YOU WILL CALL THEM BACK to check up on them)
3 weeks later, she textes me saying how i am doing. i replied back but didnt make any plans with her to punish her.
your not very suave dude.
PIMP
u mean not desperatePimp-sicle said:your not very suave dude.
PIMP
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
If SHE was the one to make the plans why did YOU have to call her to set up the time?? Didn't you think this made you look way too interested?DJorBUST said:So, I have a coworker who I have been working with for the last month and we have great rapport and she's always smiling at me when she looks at me and laughs at everything I say. So, we have now switched assignments and are no longer working together. On the last day I mention a movie I wanted to see and she exclaimed "Do you want to go and see it with me?" excitedly. I said sure and we traded numbers. So, I told her I would call her last night and setup a time with her to see it on Friday. Anyways, I called her last night and have not received a reply. If I had been the one to ask her out, I would think for sure she wasn't interested and make other plans for Friday. Since, in this situation, she was the one to ask me out, should I go ahead and assume she changed her mind for some reason and make other plans or wait until tomorrow?
I absolutely don't get how AFC some guys can be and not even recognize it.
Um... yeah maybe in another month you'll finally get a date with her.verysuave said:Whoa whoa whoa... same thing happend to me. This chick ASKED for my effing number... Well.. she didnt actually ask for my number.. she got a hold of it. I was spitting game at her mad crazy. and her other coworker tells me that "She has a crush on me"
A week later, i ask her out to go hangout friday.. she says - saturday would be a good time. I said, maybe some other time.
3 weeks later, the night before she quits i told her that i would call her.
3 days later, my girl coworker tells me "guess who misses you.. she called me up last night and asked me how you were doing.. did you know she had the biggest crush on you"
1 week later, i call her up to setup a date for saturday. I told her to call me back by wednesday.. she didnt call me back (lesson learned: tell them, YOU WILL CALL THEM BACK to check up on them)
3 weeks later, she textes me saying how i am doing. i replied back but didnt make any plans with her to punish her.
Maybe in 3 yrs you'll finally get that kiss?
LOL you gotta step it up man.
coworker has crush on you, 3 hrs later you should be at the cafe sitting with her finding out if shes your type.
true romance
Don Juan
Never set up date on Fridays/sat night. Reason as Armate mentionned above
set up on Tues/Wed night when she is bored and have no one pay attention to.
Until you both connect after few dates then plan on week-ends
set up on Tues/Wed night when she is bored and have no one pay attention to.
Until you both connect after few dates then plan on week-ends
Gangster Of Love
Master Don Juan
This is the best advice I've read on SS regarding this specific type of scenario on a first get together.Amante Silvestre said:When you ask a girl to give up her most social, prime-time, weekend hours with friends to do something that can just as easily be done on a Tuesday, don't be shocked if she's hard to get in touch with. Remember, she may have asked you to see the movie, but she didn't ask you to see it on a Friday night. If she doesn't have a Jupitor-sized crush on you, anything that she gets wind of through the cell phone last night or today, anything that is remotely interesting in her social life with those friends, will make you expendable.
Oh my god! Her friend Sally is going to confront her cheating boyfriend tonight at the bar? Bye bye date with you.
The girls are going to get together to drink, dance and fuk with men's minds at the grand opening of that new night club? Guess who's gonna flake?
It's not always because they aren't interested in you, but because they aren't interested enough right now to blow off fun opportunities with solid friends.
Believe it or not, most women don't feel right when they have to flat out lie to back out of a commitment, especially if she knows it's over something like her penchant for social drama, which is the first thing she knows she has to do if she talks to you. These women....they get themselves into situations like this all of the time and they seldom know how to handle it with any class.
Just take hold of the reigns. Call early today to reschedule, even if it's a messgae on a machine (which it sounds like it will be). Something important has come up and you'll get back to her on Sunday or Monday for a week-day rain-check on that movie if you don't hear back. Then go out to pick up women instead of waiting for her to pick up her phone.
She'll probably answer it on Monday when you call because she won't have to explain herself. If she doesn't answer, next.
You should put an expanded version of this on the Tips Forum.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Dude, once you have the ok, get in there with details. Make her talk, make her work. Don't just assume she said "ok" and everything is ok. CONFIRMDJorBUST said:Let me clarify, when she asked me if I wanted to see it with her, I DID setup a time and date. I said Friday at 8 pm and she thought for a second and then said it would work. So, I called her again to decide on theater to meet at. If I had planned to setup a date with her, I would have had a location picked out. However, since she asked me if I wanted to see it with her, I didn't have a location in mind (and I'm new to the area and had no idea where the theaters are).
You should have closed on the theatre at that time too. If you call her again to set up the theatre to meet at, there are way too many unknowns where she could flake and the same list applies.
Her: Friday at 8 will work
You: I'll call you later to set up the theatre location <-- no good.
You: Where would you like to meet? I would like to pick you up so we can drive there together since
AND CONFIRM.
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I did for Queen and Country