Asking questions to your gf...

[pyros]

Hello.

I wanted to point out that it is very important what you ask to your gf in order to get to know her past, and avoid future misunderstandings that may be small, or they may be big.

Besides asking questions, you should ask for DETAILS, and ask several questions about the same topic, because if you dont, she may just answer to that question without giving extra (important!!) information, and skip major details.

For example, you ask her:

You: how many guys did you ****ed before me?
she: Just two guys I slept with, both my boyfriends.
(you like the answer, so this issue is clear. BUT you should have digged more!)

She is just telling you how many guys she slept with because thats what you asked. But she may have given some bj's, or she may have had anal sex with a guy...or she may have had a threesome but without intercourse, so id doesnt count for her. From her point of view, if you wanted to know this, you should have asked her also:
did you have a threesome before?
did you do anal before?
etc
etc


DO NOT ASSUME.


Another example, you may ask her:
you: did it take long to finish your degree?
she: oh not that much, just a bit more than usual, hard time.
(you like the answer, so issue is clear)

BUT, when she said: 'just a bit more than usual' you should have digged more!
because six months later you discover that it took longer (two years) because she had some problems with parties and alcohol!


DO NOT BE NAIVE.

Always ask for details, ask many questions about the same thing, and ask them in different occasions, because when you do this way, you get way more information than what she wanted to give you in the first place.

And when you get to know all the details she skipped, and you get angry, she says that 'you should have asked me more' crazy!


Happened to me...

 

[Bumsniff]

Hello.

I wanted to point out that it is very important what you ask to your gf in order to get to know her past.

Besides asking, you should ask for details of ask several questions about the same topic, because if you dont, she may just 'answer' and skip important details.

For example, you ask her:

You: how many guys did you ****ed before me?
she: Just two guys I slept with, both my boyfriends.
(you like the answer, so this issue is clear. BUT you should have digged more!)

BUT, she is just telling you how many guys she slept with because thats what you asked. But she may have given some *******s, or she may had anal sex with a guy...or she may have had a threesome but withouth intercourse, so id doesnt count.


Another example, you may ask her:
you: did it take long to finish your degree?
she: oh not that much, just a bit more than usual.
(you like the answer, so issue is clear)

BUT, when she said: 'just a bit more than usual' you should have digged more!
because six months later you discover that it took longer (two years) because she had some problems with parties and alcohol!


DO NOT be naive. Always ask for details, ask many questions about the same thing, and ask them in different occasions, because when you do this way, you get more information than she wanted to give you in the first place.


True story.

How about being confident enough in yourself to not care what her 'answers' are? You can leave her at a moments notice based on her actions since you are truly confident in yourself no?

 

[youngmack]

Well to me this is what an insecure unconfident dude would do. I think she will be turned off with all these questions trying to get every single detail about her past. What if she is ashamed of her past and doesn't want to dwell upon it. I'm not saying you shouldn't ask questions though..

But hey that's my point of view

 

[Krueg]

Hell, I'd encourage asking questions! I wouldnt want to end up with some washed up Ho with daddy issues! You gotta screen these girls to see if their good enough 4 U!

 

[zekko]

I can understand your wanting a relatively chaste girl (good luck with that in this day and age, buddy). But do you really need to know the sexual history of every orifice in her body? Ick, that's just gross. And what difference does it make?

Personally, the thought of anal churns my stomach. But there's other guys here who couldn't imagine having sex without it (bvttfvckers!). So the answer to that probably just depends on who she's been out with.

 

[Single4Life]

Girls lie about this all the time.

 

[5string]

Wrong.

Don't ever ask about a woman's past. Not only will they lie, you may just get some info that will bang around in your head and fvck you up. Especially if you are into her.

Judge her not by her past, but how she behaves in the present.

 

[5string]

True. However some women like filling you in weather you wanted to hear it or not...a lotta 5h17 I didn't wanna know still bangs around in my head from time to time.
Id say these days..the typical woman that attracts me, will have a nasty history, because good looking women get hit on a hell of a lot and if they are still dressing up and making themselves up at 25..onwards...then you know they still wanna be hit on now...and as its hella easy for a good looking woman to allow herself to be picked up, no work or effort involved there...so you can work out the maths with out asking...19 year olds are having threesomes and i aint talking 2 girls one guy..im talking 2 guys one girl...try shaking sh17 like that outta you head and then finding out there are videos.
She may even like you to watch them....
i don't even need to think about that stuff anymore...ive resigned myself to the fact that id have to go to the third world to have any hope of finding a virtuous woman...luckly i don't much care these days haha..i aint a naive 21 year old with hopes of loyal wife.

Hear ya.

I have always said that a woman, if given enough time, will reveal her past to you piece by piece, little by little. It's their nature to do this. I don't pretend to know why, but they do.

Someone on here has said that all lies contain fragments of the truth. I believe that to be true.

Always listen carefully fellas.

 

[pyros]

Hi.

I was not refering to her past sex history only.

My point was, that when you ask her about past things, you should really ask, because there are some girls out there, that consider that not telling the whole truth does not equal lying.
So you dont wanna discover some things about your gf when you've been for one year with her already. And this can happen if you do not ask carefully, and just take her brief answers, and assume the rest.

For example, you may ask her:
why did you dump your previous boyfriend?
she says: 'I was not happy so I dumped him, we got back together and I dumped him again some months later.'

You think: alright. You assume they have no contact, and thats it.

BUT, after two years you find that yes she dumped him, but she's been contacting him via email for a whole year after you started dating her, and that she dumped him because she kind of flirted with a friend of him, and she decided to end the relationship first.

what now hero?


Or another example, you ask her 'why dont you talk to your brother anymore?'
she: hes too stubborn, I do not really like him, he lives in a different city so we do not have much contact.
you think: alright. You do not think there is more to be said, or at least nothing bad.

BUT, since you did not dig into it, you discover six months later, that they do not have any contact because he wanted to save money for when their mother got old, but your gf disagreed and she prefered to buy a car and save money later.


You get the point? You did not ask enough, now you have a new truth you dont like.


DIG, DIG, DIG.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

Hi.

I was not refering to her past sex history only.

My point was, that when you ask her about past things, you should really ask, because there are some girls out there, that consider that not telling the whole truth does not equal lying.
So you dont wanna discover some things about your gf when you've been for one year with her already. And this can happen if you do not ask carefully, and just take her brief answers, and assume the rest.

For example, you may ask her:
why did you dump your previous boyfriend?
she says: 'I was not happy so I dumped him, we got back together and I dumped him again some months later.'

You think: alright. You assume they have no contact, and thats it.

BUT, after two years you find that yes she dumped him, but she's been contacting him via email for a whole year after you started dating her, and that she dumped him because she kind of flirted with a friend of him, and she decided to end the relationship first.

what now hero?


Or another example, you ask her 'why dont you talk to your brother anymore?'
she: hes too stubborn, I do not really like him, he lives in a different city so we do not have much contact.
you think: alright. You do not think there is more to be said, or at least nothing bad.

BUT, since you did not dig into it, you discover six months later, that they do not have any contact because he wanted to save money for when their mother got old, but your gf disagreed and she prefered to buy a car and save money later.


You get the point? You did not ask enough, now you have a new truth you dont like.


DIG, DIG, DIG.

So you feel a chick is going to just accept you grilling her with multiple questions about her past and answer them truthfully? Plan on purchasing a lie detector test kit anytime soon? Or if all else fails maybe try waterboarding her. Get over yourself.

You can touch on certain topics if you feel like it, accept her 'answer' and then judge by her actions. If her actions don't match her words to whom you feel would be a good fit to what you are looking for...then you should be confident enough in yourself to walk away at any time.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Whenever you want to know something about a girl just act like nothing bothers you and you don't care anyway. Girls just can't keep their mouths shut, it will come out eventually for one reason or another. She'll either use it to make you jealous, or just blabber when she's drunk, or just let it slip in an effort to liberate herself of her hoebaggery. But no matter what, just asking is not going to work 95% of the time. All it will do is turn on the same HO shield we have to overcome to lay her in the first place...

You can promote this by telling her a little something about your past. Or support a truth or dare game next time you are in a group. Maybe bring the topic up in a conversation about how unfair it is for girls to have different standards from men.

It's not hard if you just use a little tact.

 

[pyros]

I was not refering only to sex...

I meant in general. And I say this cause it happened to me.

Trust me, you dont want to discover new stuff about your girl. Things that she ..somehow hid from you, or modified so it looked nicer or better.

So you should get to the real thing when asking whatever that matters.
Because one of my exes used to say things, explain stories or whatever, or things that happened to her, and after many months you discovered (because she said something more, she said something that contradicted what she previously said etc) that it was not exactly like that. Not totally false, but not totally true neither. She did not lie, but she kept details or things that really matter to herself.

It is not that she said: 'I'd like to have kids someday' and then one year later she said: 'oh I am never going to have any kids, thats for sure'.

It is something in between, like she once said she wanted to have them, but actually she was not totally sure, she made you believe that she liked to but...now she says she probably does not want to, and insists that you should know that she was not sure about that. Then you argue and you say that she said what she said that time, and now she's changed her mind. But she defends herself and says that you SHOULD HAVE ASKED HER MORE ABOUT THIS.

See? do not assume. Ask many times in different occasions so you'll get the real truth.


Not about sex only, damn it, about anything that matters.

 

[Sofomore]

Dude this whole post is fvcked up. Why are you so needy and insecure? Part of the whole dating process is screening women BEFORE you make them your girlfriend.

This is a really sad thread. It seems like you have no confidence in the women you date.