Asking out a girl, who you can offer nothing to

[Upstanding Young Man]

Situation.

23, going on a 1 year dry spell, "nice guy" tag.

I work with a girl I like, and over the last week or so we've had long hours together. We've been paired up together doing odd jobs and whatnot and have been hitting it off pretty well. She's only been there a couple of months, and we haven't talked much untill this week.

Also...she comes from money, her dad's some kind of big shot lawyer, so she's been very well taken care of her entire life. But she doesn't seem stuck up.

I however, work a job that doesn't pay much, live in a crappy apartment (with the parents, mainly taking care of them though), and I don't even drive. So I don't have much going for me right now.

I have a couple of days off and the plan is to ask her out when I get back. I almost did today but backed off at the last second. BUT, unlike before with any other girl I wasn't a nervous wreck getting ready to do it, but I got called away at the last second and it just didn't happen.

So, even if I do ask her out...what do I have to offer really? We seem to get along well enough and everything, but with no car and a light wallet (which she isn't used to) where do I go from here?

 

[bobbob]

You have a big fat c0ck, offer her that.

 

[The TallOne]

Don't fall into the "I don't think I am worthy enough" mindset.

It is VERY dangerous... get out of it.

I think what you have to offer, is yourself. What else do you really need? Money, nice car?

If a girl (that I wanted to pursue a LTR with) was more interested in my money/car then me... then next.

However, if I was interested in a ONS, that would be different.

 

[skinnydart]

Don't worry about the money, it's you that you want her to be attracted to right?

From what it sounds like, she's already showed some interest in you, and she should be able to tell by now that you're not the richest kid around. So obviously it's you that she likes.

Just take her to a nice, small restraunt, even if it's not the most exspensive place around.

As for the car, I would see if you can borrow one from a friend. (I have the same problem, it's a pain). After the 1st date or so, she might even offer to take hers in which case go for it. That way she'll have something invested into the relationship as well, so you won't be the only one forking out the money/effort.

I mean with a girl like that, I would offer to pay for the dates but don't hold to that to stronly if she happens to offer to pay every once in a while.

 

[comote]

Forget her, your a big loser compared to her.











That's the thinking you're setting yourself up for. If you don't know what you can offer her than you really will have nothing to offer her.

You offer her fun, good times, your company whatever.
There will always be guys that can offer her more than you can so if that is something that you think about you will always be insecure about it.

 

[quest]

comote u beat me to it..

rich daddy's girls still need to have fun..
99% of guys are going to be too scared to approach her because they are intimidated by her. u can be part of the 99%, or the 1% which says, screw what she's got, i like her, i have fun with her, and she has fun with me.
money doesnt buy you fun. well, if ur a fun person, i'm sure it'd help! but if ur boring, ur boring with or without money.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

The guys have stated good advice..here's my opinion.

Above money, above looks, above many of the things that may or may not be going for you..women will ALWAYS be attracted to a man that believes in what he is doing..and has confidence in his life.

THE KEY HERE IS THAT YOU HAVE TO HAVE A GENUINE AMBITION ABOUT YOUR LIFE.

Having the "I don't have anything going attitude" is counterproductive. It sounds like a trite expression...but...never look at the glass half empty.

There IS something that attracts this girl to you...and I'll bet my bottom dollar is that she see's an ambition in you she doesn't see in many "well off guys".

I've met my share of spoiled brats growing up and going through college. They think life is supposed to be handed to them. Like they've earned a good lfe without trying. These guys are boring..and maybe she see's in you what she doesn't see in them.

Its a reverse attraction. Maybe the kind of guy her dad would hate her going out with....but...accentuate the positive.

Stop with the self defeating attitude. There will be always guys with more money, nicer cars, fatter wallets...thats all good.

I could be a prick and tell you how to have her start buying you things, flip the script, and pimp her for presents and gifts. But, i think I'll leave that for someone else.

Just be confident and true to yourself. There are tons of "cheap" or inexpensive date alternatives that she maybe happy with.

Picknicks
Movienight at home
Walks (beach, parks, hikes)

Be creative...do a search..there are tons of ideas posted on this site in the past.

 

[Walden]

Youre coming from a bad place cos you think of her as the prize. When youre in a position that you as the bad boy alphamale type can offer her adventure , and wild monkey sex then you can be the prize.

 

[Upstanding Young Man]

I fully intend to ask Tuesday, I figured the couple days would give me a chance to find the best words and psych myself up for it. I've had girlfriends and been in good relationships before, but the asking always seems to hardest to me.

But unlike other times I don't feel like I'm trying to get myself out of it. I've always been the shy quiet guy who would think about asking out a girl and then backing off. I'm actually regretting not doing it sooner.

And I'm not thinking the "I'm unworthy" thing. I think I maybe was just setting myself up for an excuse if it didn't happen...I dunno. I think I', just giving it too much thought.

And when I said I don't drive, I meant that in the truest way possible...I never got my license.

 

[Juan_Man]

I don't think that you should do it. Not because you aren't good enough for her but because you are not confident. If you aren't confident, there is no way you can be successful asking this girl out. Go out with some girls you feel confident about for practice and then make your move.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Dang, and all this time I've been getting by with just personality. I guess I need to get a job to make a boat load of money. Then I'll be able to date women who are only impressed by my assets, right?

 

[Upstanding Young Man]

Bah, she called in sick last night and has tonight off...now I have to wait till Thursday