"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Are young girls this FINicky, what did I do wrong?

mackdaddy27

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When you've improved your game , failure rattles you more because you become not used to it

I am dressed like i just want to do my work-work( im 28) in the local college library. I sit by this hot blonde,(shes maybe 22) and we start talking, I open her about something in her book, talk to h her I am here to do my work and all about business in general, I had some dhv I think because of my knowledge, connections , etc. but most importantly I thought were connecting , I was making her laugh. she was having a good time for like 30-40 minutes.. I thought she was interested and I did a good job and

WHen we were walking out, I asked her for her number. My phone died, so she physically wrote it out for me on a notepad... ( why would she do that if she wasn't interested?)

THen 20 minutes later, I go and charge up my phone, and I text her that I got my phone and"here is my number and good luck on your exam." She replies like 10 minutes later, saying thanks and write in the text message "Speak to you soon". I thought i had a day 2

Went to bed, and I tried to call her the next day at like 11 pm , 2x she didn't pick up. Then I texted her saying, 'how did your exam go, what classes do you have tomorrow and that I will try to call her tomorrow.."..no response the entire next day. I thought she didn't read the message.

A day and a half day I sent another txt and no response. Wtf is that I thought I had this one bagged, she physically gave me her number and texted me back. I thought she had interest, and I had interest in her, and just 1 day later, its like she ****ing disappeared ! always says " biggest failure for guys is not showing value before asking her out"

Are young girls this FINicky, what did I do wrong?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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DonJuan11

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mackdaddy27 said:
- in the local college library.
- I sit by this hot blonde,(shes maybe 22)
- I thought were connecting , I was making her laugh.
- she was having a good time for like 30-40 minutes

40 minutes is too long to chat with a girl without a getting a number + date.

- I asked her for her number
- so she physically wrote it out for me on a notepad... ( why would she do that if she wasn't interested?)

1) To be nice because she already has a bf who she has sex with
2) Because its good for her ego
3) Because she likes that you make her laugh and wants you as a friend


- 20 minutes later, I text her "here is my number and good luck on your exam."
- She replies like 10 minutes later, saying thanks and write in the text message "Speak to you soon"

- I tried to call her the next day at like 11 pm , 2x she didn't pick up.
- I texted her saying, 'how did your exam go, what classes do you have tomorrow and that I will try to call her tomorrow.."
- no response the entire next day
- I sent another txt and no response.
- I thought I had this one bagged, she physically gave me her number and texted me back.
1) So what she physically gave you her number and texted back? Doesn't mean anything. She may just have been polite because she has a bf who she has sex with, or is too busy with her studies. You can't expect a girl to date you because she did something in the past ("You can't pretend you like me and want to sleep with me and then not return my call, I can't handle it!!") Girls change their minds in 2 seconds based on their emotions, nothing else. I've had girls who I've met their parents for marriage and they tell me to go to hell 7 days later. A text and conversation doesn't mean anything.

2) You:

a) Call her twice - no response
b) Text her saying you will call her again tomorrow - no response
c) Call her the next day - no response
d) Text her again - no response

Does this sound logical to you? You're lucky she isn't pressing criminal charges for harassment and have you arrested. You'd have a criminal record and wouldn't be able to leave the country again. Don't laugh - it's happened to someone I know.
 

Jazz

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Girls can give you their number without a second thought because there's really no risk in it. You know, it is possible to walk up to her, open her, then 30 seconds later number close her. By giving you her number, she's not making a promise to see you, or even talk to you, again.

Next time, my recommendation would be to get her number, but then either jump to a new location (and instant "date" elsewhere), or set up a time bridge to see her later (if you have something to do, or MUST get to bed for some reason, set up a date for later). Remember that if you go for the time bridge, you should have an exact date and location in mind (preferably something you plan on doing with or without her, in case she flakes on you). This way, if she says she is busy, you can suggest a different date or location. If she rejects your next date idea, take the hint and move on.

Also, if you're with a girl in a bar for 40 minutes, then I would hope that you moved her from where you started out with her, to a more quiet intimate area within the same location. This gets her adjusted to the idea of being alone with you, and moving to another location with you. This is the most basic jump you can do.

You could also remember common rules of etiquette. Did you really call her the night after her exam at 11PM? Twice?! It's quite possible she was already asleep...

OR

It could be that after you left her that night, she got buyer's remorse. You may have seemed like a good idea at the time, but after getting away from you or talking to her friends about you, decided that you weren't worth her time after all. This is another reason I prefer to do an immediate jump to another location (maybe food) right away.
 

TheBucketOfTruth

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I don't get why people do this. If you call a girl and she doesn't respond, DON'T CALL HER AGAIN. If you text a girl and don't get a reply, DON'T SEND ANOTHER TEXT. This is easy stuff guys. It reeks of desperation.

From this point, just cool things off a bit. Don't text her. After a while, you can call her to hang out, but, if she doesn't respond, don't call her again. If someone doesn't answer their phone, it's because they aren't in a position to talk or don't want to talk to you. Calling again doesn't magically change either of those things.
 
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