Are you Alpha? Really?

[de silva]

Alpha. It's important.

But there's too much bvllshyt being thrown around about what being alpha actually is.

(In fact, there's too much bvllshyt being thrown around, full stop. If you have more than 500 posts in less than a year, I suggest you take a long, hard look at yourself and ask why. Oh, and you're not alpha.)

I'm not gonna waste anyone's time waxing poetic with essay length bvllshyt about what being alpha is. But there's a simple test you can apply to yourself.

Both in life in general, and in any step of the seduction process, are you outcome dependant?

No = possibly/probably alpha.

Yes = not alpha.

In answering this question to yourself, remember, you can bvllshyt this board, you can bvllshyt other people, you can even bvllshyt yourself. But you can't bvllshyt life.

Regards.

 

[Phoenix_of_the_ashes]

This is a good one for all the guys "Im pretty alpha, but [INSERT SOMETHING THAT MAKES PERSON LOOK REALLY STUPID]"

 

[de silva]

Here's another one.

"I am the prize."

Yes = likely Alpha

No = highly unlikely


Again, it's that initial gut reaction to the statement that's important. Not the answer you get from analyzing the statement for fifteen minutes.

Reactions to the above will vary in intensity. "Deep down" you will know, if you are honest with yourself, whether you feel (ie agree) strongly enough with the above.

 

[gimmeyofonenumba]

what is outcome dependant?

 

[de silva]

Originally posted by gimmeyofonenumba
what is outcome dependant?

Do you give a fvck about what happens? If so, you're outcome dependant. If not, you're not.

The idea isn't to take this to extremes. Obviously we've all got our limits; very few people could watch their mother being gang-raped by mental institue escapees and just shrug their shoulders. But I think we all recognize that in the "middle band" of general life events, some people aren't fazed by "anything", and some people have panic attacks at the drop of a hat. "Deep down" you know where you sit on this scale.

 

[Paps]

With so much talk of being the alpha and stuff, I wonder if we are misdirecting people to be arrogant/macho/egotisical arseholes.

Ive been there myself, might be still there I dno.

But when you read something like 'You either know you're an alpha, deep down, you really know." Everyone is gonna delude themselves into thinking back to past events and say

"Yknow what, I think I AM ALPHA."

Becoming ALPHA should not be a GOAL. Rather just focus on the paths that lead to becoming alpha.

Improving your game
Work out
Focus on your job/study/hobbies
Be decisive in all matters
Take personal attacks as they are - meaningless
Lead by example
Become a person you yourself will love - if that means sometimes disobeying the DJ rules *gasp!* do it. This is your life, your rules. You must love yourself, so important.

Win their hearts, and people will follow.

 

[Triple X]

very few people could watch their mother being gang-raped by mental institue escapees and just shrug their shoulders.

I know... it was horrible. But I had to sympathize.. hell, they'd been locked up - they'd hadnt had it for a while.

 

[de silva]

Originally posted by Paps
With so much talk of being the alpha and stuff, I wonder if we are misdirecting people to be arrogant/macho/egotisical arseholes.

Is the idea of being arrogant, macho and egotistical scary to you?

Do those qualities automatically lead one to being an "*******"?

Or is it possible the prejudices, jealousies and fears of non-alphas lead them to characterizing Alphas as "*******s"?

It is often a fine line.

But when you read something like 'You either know you're an alpha, deep down, you really know."

Which is not what I have said on this thread.

I said you will know "deep down" the answers the questions I have posed.

From what you said above, I think another question could be, are you frightened by thought of being considered arrogant, macho or egotistical?

I couldn't conceive of an Alpha being uncomfortable over this.

However, I should note that most people would feel uncomfortable at being considered any one of those - afterall, most people are not Alphas.

Becoming ALPHA should not be a GOAL. Rather just focus on the paths that lead to becoming alpha.

Are you sure those are not one and the same?

Improving your game
Work out
Focus on your job/study/hobbies
Be decisive in all matters
Take personal attacks as they are - meaningless
Lead by example
Become a person you yourself will love - if that means sometimes disobeying the DJ rules *gasp!* do it. This is your life, your rules. You must love yourself, so important.

This is a mild case of what I alluded to in my opening post - the attempt to describe what being Alpha is.

For my part, I have made no attempt yet to offer a path to reaching Alpha status. I think doing so is pointless, as the path will differ for each individual. As always, many will be called, few chosen.

In closing, I regard the first question posed in this thread as the most important. Think of it what you will.

 

[TedJustAdmitIt]

.....meh.

 

[Paps]

I dont want to be an arrogant, macho, egotistical arsehole... no. I dont want to come across that way, and I dont want to be that guy.

I want to be a guy people respect because I respect others, treat them as equals no matter what their status.

Ive met some arrogant people, Im sure we all have. Their arrogance can be easily seen to hide their insecurity, it wreaks. I dont want to be that guy; and I dont want people trying to improve themselves (posters of this board) to be that guy.

Becoming ALPHA should not be a GOAL. Rather just focus on the paths that lead to becoming alpha.

What I was trying to say Is that you shouldnt take a shortcut to be alpha. Ie. Assume your authourity over others, and boss people about, put people down. Rather respect others, work on yourself, and everything will fall in to place.

Dont get me wrong de silva, Im not criticising your post. Just warning about the dangers of alpha assumption - yeah I just made that up

 

[Jay-X]

who gives a sh1t about being alpha?

almost every alpha-wannabe i know is ridicolous in his strive to become the leader of the pack

i also know very alpha guys that don't approach or just approach the 5s and the 6s

moreover, i know lots of non-alphas that get it constantly or bang 8s and 9s...

 

[squirrels]

If you have to ask the question, you're probably not.

The neat thing about being alpha (the thing that I miss the most about it) is that the whole alpha-beta pecking order is something you're oblivious to. When you're not at the top of the pack, you're cluttered with people above, below, and to the sides, whereas the alpha is at the top of the pyramid and sees clearly in all directions because the alpha-beta structure is no longer in his way.

 

[diplomatic_lies]

Well I mean, unless you're the President, there's still a lot of people above you...

 

[bullmoose]

If you're the one in your group of buddies whom the others turn to more than anyone else when you're hanging out -- if you're the one who's telling the jokes, who's making the decisions as to when we blow out of this $#!+hole, who's ordering the pitcher, who's the first one on the dance floor or on the mechanical bull or the bungee wall or whatever -- if you're that guy, you're the alpha. Period. And girls notice who's calling the shots. Some girls want that guy, some don't.

Notice I said, the one the others TURN TO. Being bossy, argumentative, the unnatural center of attention, or shouting down your buddies is not cool and will win you no points. Girls can spot a fake from across the room. When I'm out with friends, I'm usually the one who already determined where we go; hence, I'm the one they look to for what to do next.

 

[Visceral]

Do what you want, where you want, when you want, how you want, and with whom you want: stop worrying about whether you're the "alpha" or not - something this instinctual is probably something you've got to be born with. Get over it and back to your life.

 

[nosexbox]

Opinions from a newbie:

My guess is that being an "alpha" doesn't necessarily mean being an idiot or controlling. It depends on your company... if you're hanging out with bud-drinking, Nascar-watching, WWF-attending types, being an outright ******* might be the ticket. But more mature, more "civilized" types might be a bit more refined with the whole thing. It wouldn't be about obvious domination as much as proving yourself as someone who simply knows what he wants and can get it.

Everyone can't be the alpha, and I think it's difficult for men without the genetic gifts to become one. What you can do is incorporate "alpha-type" thoughts and behaviour into your life. It's not like there's one guy at the top and fifty all around. There's degrees to everything.

 

[Casino]

I've been around for 23 years and I've seen about 2 EXTREMELY ALPHA MALES. I mean we are straight up talking A L P H A. When they walk into a room it was ALL EYEZ ON THEM. Everything they did was ALPHA. One of them was CSM in the Army and absolutely could command a room like a god. He told us that when he was younger that he tried to bang 1 chick a day and when that became to easy he tried to start banging two a day. The guy was just so confident in himself. He was also an Army Ranger, Special Forces trainer, etc etc. etc. His resume read like something out a Tom Clancy novel. Whats more? He probably never studied seduction or anything else. He just knew what he wanted in life and got it.

Now don't get me wrong I've seen a lot of guys that have some Alpha tendancies but at the end of the day they were not 100 percent ALPHA. That includes me.

I don't think ALPHA is a cut and dry issue. I for one can be ALPHA in a ton of social scenerios. But sometimes I'll get into a situation where it is clear I'm not ALPHA. Now this doesn't happen all the time but it will on occasion.

You can bang tons of chicks and you don't have to walk around like some sort of quasi bad ass. Remember congruency!!! Your mental state better be matching your physical state or you will look like a POSER.

One poster hit the nail on the head. Not everyone is supposed to be alpha. Look at the animal kingdom and you will see that there is only one ALPHA Male per pack. In order for him to get dethroned a BETA has to kick his ass and take his mates. Point blank.

Now the question becomes. ...Can every male be Alpha? I believe you can. But it's not an overnight thing. You can't wake up tommorrow and start walking tall and acting like a badass and BAM you're alpha. It's a gradual process that could take a few years. My progression has been awesome. Each year I grow to be more and more Alpha. I'm to the point now where I can get a group of people and completely entrall them with stories. The girls love it and the dudes just shut up and listen.My frame is so tight. But I wasn't always that way. Even a year ago i couldn't hold sets.

Right now I'm working on scripts and reading and revising scripts to fit my style. I think the biggest thing is to seperate yourself from the other chumps out there that ask job interview questions.

Thats why scripts are awesome. Although this site seems to be anti-script I love them. You can sit there and walk up to a chick and seperate yourself from the AFC. Walk in with the "Midget Mascot" script and I bet you see better results then you see from asking the typical job interview questions. Record yourself. Maybe even video tape yourself until you can get your scripts right. You'll see the difference in a few weeks.

 

[diplomatic_lies]

Yes well just don't end up being the guy who talks big and acts tough in the group, or tries to hold eye contact with half the room for an hour. Those are the guys we all laugh at, not respect. I'm more likely to respect someone who is friendly than someone who tries to "out-stare" me.

 

[Visceral]

Count yourself lucky, Casino; you've seen the legendary "real man".

If only we could all be like that

Perhaps we can distinguish between "alpha male" and "dominant male", where an alpha male is just a guy who manifests the proper physical and behavioral traits, whereas the dominant male is the guy calling the shots, the center of attention, etc. The first is inherent, the second is situation-based - that is, any man who works hard enough at it can become an alpha male, but since there will always be someone better than him, he won't necessarily always be the dominant male.

 

[Royal Elite]

Ive read some dumb ass post on her. If you think acting like a man will make you look arrogent you are not acting like a Man. If god wanted you to act like anything else he would have made you something else. There is a saying that "A coward dies a 1000 deaths" what that means is a coward will always come up with reason why he should be a coward like acting alpha or Manly will make people see me as arrogent. what a load of crap. Everyone is not equal in life -it is what it is-so to pretend like everyone is is delusional. If you have trouble acting like a Man you will have trouble attracting Women. No matter how far down the totem pole a male lion is he always acts like a male lion. He may not be a tough as the alpha male in the group but he is always tougher the females of the pride. So stop making excuses of why you dont act like a Man in front of people because no one cares, all they know is you dont act like a Man in front of people.

MAN UP!