Are these IOIs?

[lowroller]

Hey guys.

I'm trying to get this girl for quite a while but I'm pretty bad at it. I'm not observant of her body signals and stuffs, but there are things she do that makes me think are IOIs.

1. Every week when I ask her out once, she will say yes.
2. She is willing to stay the night out on the streets with me even if she has commitment the following day, like classes. She often complains about how tired she is during class afterwards.
3. She goes to lame events with me, much to my buddies advices "dont god damn bring her there, no girls would go"
4. She met my close friends for the very first time just weeks ago, by accident and since then, she felt ok to go out with me when I'm meeting my friends.
5. Sharing desserts, drinks, food, but I guess these are pretty normal.

But here are the catches: she never texts me first and sometimes she will call me dude. I haven't heard in in the last 2 weeks but it felt as if I fell into the friend zone. All of these indicators, I'm worried that she might have already placed me in the friend zone.

Would kindly appreciate any comments on these.. :rock:

 

[Igetit!]

Hey guys.

I'm trying to get this girl for quite a while but I'm pretty bad at it.

Well first of all,how long is "a while"? Just how long have you been after this girl?

I'm not observant of her body signals and stuffs, but there are things she do that makes me think are IOIs.

1. Every week when I ask her out once, she will say yes.

Ok,stop right here.....

You say when you ask her out,she says yes. Ok,so what's the problem?

You asked her out. She said yes,soooo.....so what's the hold up? If she agreed to a date,then you suggest a time and place to get together,then you two meet up.

I'm failing to see the problem here. You're talking about body language,meeting your friends,hanging out with you in the streets,and sharing food with you.

Why are you looking to all that nonsense for signs of interest when she's already VERBALLY AGREED to a date?


I don't understand.....


You asked her out.

She said YES.


Then instead of setting up a date with the girl,you continued looking for IOIs???


What do you want her to do dude,propose marriage?

2. She is willing to stay the night out on the streets with me even if she has commitment the following day, like classes.

Stay out all night in the streets? Uhhh....are you homeless dude?

Damn,even homeless people have internet access,lol.


I'm just messin' with ya man. Look,she shouldn't be doing that. You mentioned something about possibly being near the friendzone. That's a good call.

The LAST THING YOU WANT is to be spending too much time with her before having a date or interacting with her on a sexual level.


The more you do that,the greater the chances are you'll be friendzoned.

She often complains about how tired she is during class afterwards.
3. She goes to lame events with me, much to my buddies advices "dont god damn bring her there, no girls would go"
4. She met my close friends for the very first time just weeks ago, by accident and since then, she felt ok to go out with me when I'm meeting my friends.
5. Sharing desserts, drinks, food, but I guess these are pretty normal.

All of this stuff takes time to do.

So if you two have been doing these things for a while......well....you might be nearing that dreaded zone. You might want to hold off on doing these things with her until AFTER you've had a date.


It's going to be tough for her to just suddenly switch from the friendly/buddy type way you've been with each other on these all night hang-outs and eating out with you to all of the sudden being sexual and romantic when (or if) this date takes place.


So if she does pull out the "let's just be friends" card on you,don't be angry or upset with her because all she's done is follow YOUR LEAD.

sometimes she will call me dude.

She calls you dude. NEVER a good sign my friend.

She's TOO comfortable with you. That's not good.

So far,all signs point to the friendzone.

I haven't heard in in the last 2 weeks but it felt as if I fell into the friend zone. All of these indicators, I'm worried that she might have already placed me in the friend zone.

That does seem to be the case.......BUT....

She did say yes to a date with you. Seems odd though,with everything else you've mentioned. She said yes,so TAKE HER OUT.

That should be your FIRST PRIORTY. You need to do that BEFORE you get back to those all night street hangouts and her hanging out with you and your friends.



You've been behaving and acting like a friend,and it's HARD for a woman to feel attraction for someone she's been "chummy" with,ESPECIALLY if it's been like that for a while.


So before you do ANYTHING ELSE,take her out..

 

[lowroller]

2-3months, went out about 6 times so far.

i think i phrased it wrongly. we would hang til the late hours before i send her home.. not really literally streets

there have been times i put my arms around her, or she will just lie on my shoulders, but that was after we went out 4 times. on one side i see it as a good sign, but could mean something else (too tired?)

the first time i asked her out was to a dinner and movies, not sure if you could count that as a date. i just summoned some guts, tried my luck and asked her if she wanna go out with me to movies and dinner. surprisingly, she said yes.

im not sure if i should break the news to her that im actually interested in her explicitly, since im guessing she ain't sure if i like her. could be a dumb move. advices perhaps?

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Yes that is a date.

The real question is why havent you kissed her yet?

Stating affection thru words is never a good idea. Show it through action.

Just grab your balls, pull them out of your mangina, and be a man.

 

[Igetit!]

2-3months, went out about 6 times so far.

What the fudge? Huh? Six times?

You already taken her out 6 times? Dude...what the hell is going on on these "dates"? And more importantly....


Does SHE KNOW these are dates?

Dude,what are you doing?

there have been times i put my arms around her, or she will just lie on my shoulders, but that was after we went out 4 times.

Lowroller.....dude,I'm sorry,but this just flat out funny. :crackup:

You said that there has been times when you've put your arm around her,or she has laid on your shoulders,but all that took place after going out 4 times.


So after 4 dates,the farthest you've gotten with her was putting your arm around her.

That's just sad,lol.

the first time i asked her out was to a dinner and movies, not sure if you could count that as a date.

Like NorwegianDJ said,yes,it counts. It's crazy that you even had to ask that.

If YOU DON'T KNOW what these get togethers are,and they're YOUR SUGGESTIONS,then no wonder you're in this predicament.

im not sure if i should break the news to her that im actually interested in her explicitly,

Now this is bad....real bad. You're wondering if you should "break the news" to her about your interest?

"Break the news"? After taking her out 6 times????


You've had 6 dates with her,been after her for 2-3 months,have eaten with her,spent all night out with her,had her at your side while kickin' it with your friends,you've done ALL THAT,and she still doesn't know you like her?


It's over with.

First of all,a guy revealing his interest to a girl should NEVER BE "broken" to her. She should have known by you simply asking her out. That,plus....


flirting with her
teasing her
complimenting her on her appearance
kino
using sexual innuendo
Attempting to kiss her while on the date (like NorwegianDJ said)


She would have know you were interested by all these things. That's why I asked what it was you were doing on these 6 dates with her.


How could you spend all that time with her,take her out 6 times,and she still not know? What were you doing on these dates?

since im guessing she ain't sure if i like her.

I see only two possibilities.....

1:She doesn't know you like her,or...
2:She does know you like her,but thinks you're too scared to make a move


And after the amount of time (and money) you've interested in her,BOTH THESE ARE BAD.


It can't be #1. Nobody can be that stupid.

So if it's #2,then it makes you look like you have no confidence,like you're too scared to do something.


Don't be shocked or surprised if you find out she's seeing another guy. If you won't man up and go for what you want,then she'll just find someone who will.


And don't go calling her a b*tch,a "ho" or whatever else if things don't work out either because she's given you MORE THAN ENOUGH TIME to make it happen too.

advices perhaps?

Well don't go and actually tell her you like her or anything like that.

Don't say,"I like you" or anything like that. Just start flirting with her and teasing her a bit. Compliment her on something she wears (Don't say,"You're hot"). The next time you have a date,at some point when you two are alone,walk up from behind her and put your arms around her. Kiss her on her neck. Then slowly escalate to a small make out.


Let all of those things say,"I like you",don't actually say the words to her.


Just do what NorwegianDJ said.

 

[lowroller]

You guys are right, I should have a more solid and affirmative plan, this is going nowhere. I see what I can do with this one. I will update, hopefully with better news

 

[lowroller]

You've had 6 dates with her,been after her for 2-3 months,have eaten with her,spent all night out with her,had her at your side while kickin' it with your friends,you've done ALL THAT,and she still doesn't know you like her?

Help me out on this one. How would I know, if she knows that I like her?

 

[novaknight]

START ESCALATING YOU BASTARD....You're lucky that you can attract a girl like this. Throw some IOIs back...make a move. Just don't go off simply telling her you like her...that's terrible. Show, not tell.

 

[novaknight]

START ESCALATING YOU BASTARD....You're lucky that you can attract a girl like this. Throw some IOIs back...make a move. Just don't go off simply telling her you like her...that's terrible. Show, not tell.

 

[Jack Wealthy]

I disagree. IME its to difficult to get a girlfriend from there, but friends-with-benefits is possible.
But for that, you need POWER escalation.
If you drink, get her tipsy at a party, get yourself buzzed then kiss her.
Otherwise, I would do something like: Walk up behind her, put my hands on her waist, bite her, flip her off randomly... this.
All else fails, tell her to blow you, as in "I could like, really use my **** sucked right now, so like... Yeah." You're probs ****ed tho, cos you sound low-conf.