"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Are Girls Showing IOIs, or Just Being Polite?

PersistenceIsKey

Don Juan
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How do you tell if women are just being polite? How do you avoid misinterpreting friendly gestures as indicators of interest?

Examples:

1. Girl fixes up my tie, and compliments what I'm wearing.

Looks like an IOI... but

Her boyfriend is standing right behind her. She's just being nice.

2. Girl compliments something about me, usually my shirt.

Looks like an IOI... but

She is 100% friendzone and is in a committed relationship. Neither of us are interested in each other.

3. Girl acts extremely receptive, smiles a ton, maintains eye contact, is glad to give me her number, and texts me back within five minutes every single time.

All look like IOIs... but

When I ask her on a casual date, she never responds or makes an excuse without an offer to reschedule. Not interested!

This kind of stuff is frustrating. I'm at the point where if someone compliments me, I just assume it's a friendly gesture.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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omega05

Master Don Juan
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Being complimented by a female doesnt mean she's interested in you. Getting a girl's number at a club doesnt mean she's interested in you. The only way I can tell if there is interest is if she agrees to go out with you multiple times.
 

handle

Master Don Juan
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Takes time to realize what is and what isn't an "IOI." Even people with good game miss them. You will get better at parsing them out with time, but at the end of the day the only way to be sure is something concrete like making out, going out, etc.
 

FairShake

Master Don Juan
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Females compliment you on your clothes and look all the time. They compliment each other on those things too. It's just how they bond.

You will know if it's an IOI or politeness when you ask for their number and they either give it to you or mention their boyfriend.
 

sighsigh

Don Juan
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Eye contact is the best way to tell, imo. A girl with a high IL will stare at you alot. (Some guys call them 'fck me eyes').

If a girl is consistently near you, or consistently making the initiative to talk with you, or consistently doing 'polite things,' then that's a safe bet she's got a high IL. But you certainly can't draw this conclusion from only isolated instances.

Unfortunately, it seems that if you can't tell whether or not she's giving you IOI's, then she probably isn't. Girls are good at letting guys know that they like them. After all, that's the only job a girl has in the pickup game. Once she delivers the message, the onus falls completely on the guy to follow up and ask her out.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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