Are drugs (alcohol, caffeine, smoking...) a necessary thing to cope with society reality?

[Pandora]

For example, when I'm only working and studying... I tend to eat more junk foods. When I start to socialize more, have sex, going out and even drinking some gin, I eat better. It's like changing a scape valve for another. Or maybe this is just a addiction mindset I don't know.

It is because when you are working and studying you are miserable. Your subconcious knows it, your soul knows it etc. So these junk foods are to cope with not being authentic. Humans were not designed to be at a desk looking at small writing all day. They were meant to be out exploring, having sex, fighting etc. When I was studying at a career I hated I had many self destructive tendencies. Now that I am free I dont have many of these tendencies.

 

[Pandora]

If I don't say it here then it just doesn't get heard by anyone.
I don't have anybody in my life who gives a toss about me.
I have to keep my mask on day to day just so I can function. So those
I see most often like the people at work and in bars I frequent have no idea
of the pain I'm in. There's not a single thing about my "life" I enjoy.

Join a martial arts gym asap brotha.

 

[Pandora]

Still those are things about the abusive situation with my parents.

Without those pains, maybe it could be a bit easier

Bro I also came from an abusive parent household. If it makes you feel better this situation is very common. A lot of parents mess up their kids. You will never believe the violent and perverse things that go on within households. Unfortunately its part of the human experience. Its difficult to overcome because it seems so unfair. I think having a child and being a great parent is the only way to kill those child hood demons.