Approaching and your intuition

[Marker]

How much do you trust your gut when deciding to speak to a woman? If I get the vibe that a woman is attracted to me, should I just go say hi? Speaking to new people is difficult for me; about a year ago I couldn't speak to any stranger, male or female. But I've just been pushing through it, especially when it comes to attractive women and I've noticed their receptions are usually positive, at least at the time of meeting.

About a year ago I decided to start approaching more women. Needless to say I've learned a lot. I've been flaked on, stood up, etc, but the point is I am getting better at controlling the amount of hook-ups I have, rather than allowing women to be an act of chance of being at the right place at the right time. When I started I was just approaching any woman I found attractive. I think there's something to that, but sometimes it seems like they're on the fence about you or it's harder to get them out etc etc or you just get rejected right there. I am not the most socially savvy person but I am not hideous, so I feel like if there isn't an immediate physical attraction she might not be worth my time due to my own social inability.

What I am getting at here is that I have heard the most efficient thing you can do is only approach women who give you IOIs. The problem for me is sometimes I think I am seeing things that are not or are there; to sum it up in a few words: if you get the inclination that a woman is into you, do you approach her immediately? Is there some instinct that tells you this that we may have suppressed due to modern society?

 

[Mike32ct]

Forget actual IOIs per se. (With all the AWs today, I think IOIs are unreliable.)

Just approach those that you FEEL would be receptive to you.

In nearly 10 years of this game, I think actual IOIs like eye contact (prior to a cold approach) only worked for me successfully like twice. Even then, they were only makeouts. I don't recall getting laid from it.

My best nights were when I had zero or little IOIs, but my "gut" told me who to approach.

I'm usually a very logical type and completely NOT the airy fairy metaphysical "energy hippie." But I do think you should by your gut FEELING before you cold approach.

 

[White Boy]

Just do it?

Only way to overcome your fears.

You do not wait to gain confidence prior to doing something you fear, you do that which you fear and in turn breed confidence.

In other words, **** confidence - it's irrelevant, courage is more important.

By the way, when I use the words fear, I don't suggest you even think this way. What you feel is not fear, and it's bad to label it as such, it's really just a minor anxiety (which I suppose you could classify as fear, but it's not the same fear you would feel with a bullet pointed at you).

Here is an interesting mental exercise, if someone pointed a gun at you and said they would kill you if you didn't approach - would you feel approach anxiety? ****, it would be EASY right?

Or what if someone offered you ten million dollars? You would approach without hesitation.

With this realization, you can come to terms with the absurdity of this supposed fear you have.

Additionally, start thinking in terms of choice. Are you going to let some bull**** in your head stop you from going for what you want? Intellectually I'm sure you understand that it's irrelevant, but you will have to go through thousands of approaches in various contexts to actually ingrain the belief in yourself (so that means during the day).

Do not give into your fear, that is weakness. I think most guys who've been doing this **** for a while now can agree, after thousands of times, it becomes background static. It's still there, but we've TRAINED our brain to deprioritize it.

So it goes from crippling anxiety to this minor afterthought before you just think, "she's hot" and how nice it would be to have her sliding her gushy ***** on your ****.

But you gotta start somewhere, so if right now it sucks, accept that fact, there is nothing you can do about it, and PUSH THROUGH the discomfort - that will make you strong.

There is NO workaround, do not "build up to it" **** progressive desensetization - dive into the cold pool, the best advice will always be just do it because it is the truth.

Everything to gain, nothing to lose - don't be a ***** and just do it.

 

[Marker]

Just do it?

Only way to overcome your fears.

You do not wait to gain confidence prior to doing something you fear, you do that which you fear and in turn breed confidence.

In other words, **** confidence - it's irrelevant, courage is more important.

By the way, when I use the words fear, I don't suggest you even think this way. What you feel is not fear, and it's bad to label it as such, it's really just a minor anxiety (which I suppose you could classify as fear, but it's not the same fear you would feel with a bullet pointed at you).

Here is an interesting mental exercise, if someone pointed a gun at you and said they would kill you if you didn't approach - would you feel approach anxiety? ****, it would be EASY right?

Or what if someone offered you ten million dollars? You would approach without hesitation.

With this realization, you can come to terms with the absurdity of this supposed fear you have.

Additionally, start thinking in terms of choice. Are you going to let some bull**** in your head stop you from going for what you want? Intellectually I'm sure you understand that it's irrelevant, but you will have to go through thousands of approaches in various contexts to actually ingrain the belief in yourself (so that means during the day).

Do not give into your fear, that is weakness. I think most guys who've been doing this **** for a while now can agree, after thousands of times, it becomes background static. It's still there, but we've TRAINED our brain to deprioritize it.

So it goes from crippling anxiety to this minor afterthought before you just think, "she's hot" and how nice it would be to have her sliding her gushy ***** on your ****.

But you gotta start somewhere, so if right now it sucks, accept that fact, there is nothing you can do about it, and PUSH THROUGH the discomfort - that will make you strong.

There is NO workaround, do not "build up to it" **** progressive desensetization - dive into the cold pool, the best advice will always be just do it because it is the truth.

Everything to gain, nothing to lose - don't be a ***** and just do it.

You're right man. The passions I have in life I followed headfirst; just one day woke up and decided I was going to start doing activity X and it turns out well that way. When I start putting things off I start failing.