Approach

[Brucie]

I am familiar with C&f and use it, still with some needed practice. I know what i should do - tease, amplify. When i do meet a new girl, it all comes out quite easily, when i get going, and they start showing signals of interest - play with hair etc.

My group of friends are all males. Only one of us has taken the journey into sociallising with other people and he's doing great. I want to do the same but i am unsure how. I've never kissed or dated a girl. This is because if there is a girl i am interested in, i can't stop thinking about her. I've done this throughout the years and i've noticed the pattern. I see a girl i want to approach and i freeze, instantly. its like someone has dropped a brick on my chest.

There is this girl that i want to approach at the moment. But when i get a opportunity i freeze. I don't freeze as badly as i used to. As you would have guessed i don't do anything and feel a bit down after - again, not as bad as i used to. The thing which annoys me the most is that i have came up with openers that say all the right things about me. That convey everything and i know i can do it. I know i can blow her mind.

All im wanting is some advice on what to do. How do i get rid of this anxiety? Mabye i can't vanquish it, only dampen it. I know im on the right track, i'll get there. But with some tips i'll get there faster.

How did you guys deal with this?

Thanks
Brucie

 

[AlexLefty]

Hmm...
Well first off, don't expect this to be fixed over night, or in a week, and most likely not even a month. The first thing that you must understand is that to turn yourself around, it will take time. If you are dedicated however, it will take even less. Since it seems like you've got no clue of what to do so far, the only thing I suggest is reading the DJ bible first and for most. First of all though, you need some inspiration. I recommend you stop reading this right now and read some of these articles.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=89975
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=89976
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1679928#post1679928
What will also help you get through your 'freezes' is you need to stop going for a home run right away. After you read through the articles, and some of the DJ bible, go out and practice on other girls, girls you know you are superior to. I mean, start flirting with butt ass ugly girls if you have to. Gradually work your way up and start flirting with hotter ones as you go. Remember, this will take more than just a week or two.
Well, that's all I got, good luck

 

[freshprince]

dude just go up and approach them, man up dammit gosh.Getting rejected is nothing dude, what are you man or a *****
reading the dj bible is good but when that reading is all done it will come down to you actually going and do these stuff for yourself
next time take a deep breath, relax and introduce yourself to the young lady and when you do this you will begin to build confidence dont mind if you get rejected the main thing is that you tried, atleast you did something which is better than doing nothing, brush it off and head to the next chick
socialize dammit like your friend, a simple hello, how are u, my name is blah blah blah!
crap what is so hard about that girls don't bite you know they won't eat you,
remember getting a girl/girls is not life it only enhances your life and they are a lot of chicks out there, they are more girls in this world than they are men so if you fail try, try, try and you will succeed

 

[freshprince]

you know what use to help me dude, seriously! You ever watch the movie the 40 year old vergin? well if use to think that if i don't get over my ***** behaviours to talk to chicks that main character in that movie would be in the next 5-10 yrs, and if you don't man up and talk to chicks that will eventually be you too. You see how pathetic, meaningless, lonely and boring his life was, do you want that i don't think so, you certainly don't because you wouldn't be posting this thread for help.
so when you freeze when your about to approach a chick think about the 40yr old vergin that always helps me.
enough said, good luck dude

 

[Brucie]

Thx for the advice guys really appreciate it =).

I thought about it and your all right. I've read the links posted by Alex and i've had a breakthrough. I need to break the routine and grab LIFE BY THE BALLS.

What basicly hit me in the face was the realisation that I am a mess. Im doing it all wrong. Instead of putting her on the pedestal, i should be working on myself. I can't beleive i've wasted all this energy on some stupid fantasy.

Ive started positive thinking, and its working great. I need to keep positive as it is very easy to go back to depression - which i had. I feel amazing. Slowly but surely im meeting new people. i've started taking an interest in them and its paying off. Im more fun to be around. But when im with my group, I hardly talk and everything goes down. Im bored around them.

The only thing which annoys me is that one of my mates has become weird lately. I have started hanging around with a different group and hes been trying to put me down. I ignore it and carry on trying to feel good but when i think about it, it pisses me off. What do you guys think i should do with him?

I need to keep on meeting new people. Thats all i need to do. Get over anxiety with people in general and move forward.

Let the bitvhes come to me =), as i will be on a high, spreading positivity everywhere.

Also, the oneitis i had with that girl has now gone. I still want to meet her but i don't worry. I'm going to give it a while to work on myself then everyone will want to be with me.

I can't thank you guys enough. =)