Approach Anxiety

[Sports Better]

Hi guys, fairly new to the boards. I've got somewhat of a problem here.

I'm a 22 yr old guy, 6 ft, fairly muscular, I go to the gym often. I'd rate myself as an 8 in the looks column. But I have one problem: I can't approach girls in bars.

I've always been going to college bars, where it looks like there's girls that don't want to be bothered. I go there with a lot of friends, and all my friends hang out w/ themselves the entire night.

I have confidence in myself, I just can't justify talking to them. I feel like i'll be bothering them if I did. I look at these college bars, and it seems like eveyrone knows everyone else, and girls don't want random guys approaching them

Any tips would be great......thanks.

 

[everywomanshero]

Stop thinking

Stop thinking and analysing in the bar. You just do it. Dont think, just do. The more you think in the bar, the less you do.

Less Thought == More Action

Just open 12 sets. The time to think about what happened is after you leave the bar, not before. That's how you beat the anxiety. You have to do this for some time before it begins to fade into the background

Do that first before you ever even think about what to do next. This way you kill the anxiety so that later you can concentrate on other things. Trust me it may not go away but it will get TONS easier.

Most important to follow the 3 second rule. Within minutes of sitting down you will start talking yourself out of approaching, social proof aside.

 

[MagikDude]

If it's really that bad, you could start out like I did at cold approaches, and try and start convos with any girl that seems interested, then work up the gall to do a close. That's how I've been working on approach anxiety, but I also had the worst case scenario next to fainting, locking up speech! It's not going to happen till you ignore the fear and work for the goal.