"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

Apologizing! Ahhhhh.

TheJoe

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Ok, so i have done wrong...

was down the casino, a needed to go meet this girl in a club... was a little late (maybe 30mins).

She said she was staying till 2am, when i got there about 11pm she said she had an argument with her friend and was leaving. now, i just paid £10 to get in this place and wanted to stay for a drink, she said no. luckily i saw a friend, and told her i will stay and she can go. she asked me to walk her home and i refused, because i wanted to stay.

at this point i thought she would change her mind and stay with me, but she didnt. i mouthed the work '*****' to my friend and she caught a glimpse out the corner of her eye (doh!!)

she left.

i got a little drunk and chatted to some people and left for home a short time after, i was to say the least very angry. i know its a ridiculous reason but she was totally unreasonable and ended up leaving spiteful message.

Something along the lines of "hello lauren, its joe... you must think i'm a mug to walk out like that, why would i drop everything just so you can get your own way? i know your friends a ****, but im not an outlet or a shouder to cry on... but i dont suppose that ****ing matters to you." *HANGS UP*

ok, so hands up, i done wrong. i also realise my reaction was totally AFC! i should have just said "ok safe journey home, ill stick to the plans and have some fun.. talk to you soon" anyway, i further apologised and blamed it on losing cash down casino and drinking heavily.

when i called she didnt answer (i dont blame her!) so i left an answerphone message... along the lines of "im sorry about my reaction last night, i overreacted, you didnt desearve that. anyway i hope we can get passed it, talk to you soon" she sent me a message back about 2 mins after, it read it was all fine, and she was sorry about ruining my night.

end of story, but what i want to know is where i went wrong, ive never apologised before die to a very stubborn nature. ha, yep... i know. but i knew i couldnt be her lapdog and leave when she says and walk her home when she clicks her fingers.. so i couldnt see any other way round it.

thanks guys, Joe.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

Docs

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I mouthed the work '*****'
Really, I didn't know we could talk star!

end of story, but what i want to know is where i went wrong
You went wrong saying stars, and you messed up again when you phoned her. Yeah, she flaked, so what? So you paid your way in to see this girl (why....?), and she leaves. Ok, she's gone and you have a whole casino of people and machines to work with...and girls all dressed up.
 

DJDamage

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TheJoe said:
what i want to know is where i went wrong, ive never apologised before die to a very stubborn nature. ha, yep... i know. but i knew i couldnt be her lapdog and leave when she says and walk her home when she clicks her fingers.. so i couldnt see any other way round it.
Don't appologize when you feel you are not wrong. If you wanted to stay and have a good time, you should have done so. Leaving an appology message to her only tells her that she was right and you were wrong and she would hold it against you. If you would have played it cool and let her walk, she would have been the one calling you the following day and appologizing for leaving you there. In which case you would have to let her know she needs to make it up to you (sexually speaking).

WIN-WIN SITUATION.

DJD
 

TheJoe

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ha, i mouthed the work b itch, it done that automatically.

so you dont not think i should have apologized? i dont like to be all kiss-arse but i know when you have crossed the line. i got busted and if i stuck to my guns i would have come off alot worse, in my opinion.

EDIT: @DJDamage, i apologized for the name calling, not for staying put.
 

Docs

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so you dont not think i should have apologized?
Why would you apologize for something of her doing? I'm sorry for what you did, WTF>!?

No. You know what I mean by it!

As for apologizing after you b!tched at her, that's your own call. If you felt sorry, good for you. If you did it out of guilt, then no.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

TheJoe

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look, i didnt apologize for HER leaving! i felt bad for calling her a b itch and her seeing... i wouldnt have cared if she didnt see in all fairness but there you go.

shes a good girl, definatley not a b itch.. i just dont want to say the wrong things and let her think she can treat me like crap after this, but i cant see how you can actually apologise without looking like a grovelling bastard. but lets face facts, if i didnt she may have never called again.

cheers, Joe.
 
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