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Anyone been in a situation that involves a really quiet girl?

modolo

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Greetings,

Just to be concise, I know this really elegant single lady in my class and sort of talked a couple of times with her. Just that I realised she's really reserved and seems lukewarm with almost anybody during conversations.

Here are the facts:
-She seems to hang out with only one female friend of hers. (Nope, she's not a lez! This I am sure.)

-She doesn't smile a lot. The lecture may be totally funny but she doesn't respond in any way. (the only few times when I see her smile is when I smiled at her, and as a way of being polite, she smiled back)

Here's the challenge. I would really like to get to know her better and it just seems that she puts up such a defensive cold front.

I come to you guys with the utmost curiousity in gathering experiences and opinions on how to allow this lady to open up her dormant self that she's been closing up for so long. I am sure someone out there might have some experiences with quiet girls but somehow you manage to turn the situation around. Please share some of these moments.

The above mentioned facts may be inadequate for your analysis, but if you need any more information, please feel free to ask for it.

Thank you!
 

The Main Event

Don Juan
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Hi modolo,

Here's some advice from a slightly older DJ who's been with shy girls and survived.

I think you're asking the wrong question. You're saying that you need advice on how to make her open up emotionally, but what you really need to know is how to get her on a date. You're also wondering how to figure out whether she likes you, but if you spend much longer on these boards you'll quickly realise that is not a good mindset.

You work on shy girls the way you work on every other girl on God's green earth. You chat to them. You get their number. You call them up. You date them. You take things from there. If they're going to open up to you at all, they'll do it on a date.

To start things off, just arrive to class later than she does and sit yourself down near her and start a conversation. It's not a particularly fancy approach, but it will do the job.

I agree with something that's implicit in your post: shy girls are hard to figure out. They don't respond as positively (to anything) as regular chicks.

Sometimes they're inexperienced in the dating game, and that can have many different consequences. It could mean that they don't know how to act receptive to your advances. Ironically, it could mean that their emotions are a little closer to the surface. If that sounds counter-intuitive, don't worry... You'll cut through all the clutter by asking for her number.

The only other thing I have to mention is this: If she gives you something other than a firm "yes", don't attribute it to the fact that she's shy. You may get positive results by pestering her again later, but you probably won't.

Usually shy chicks are smart enough to realise when they've inadvertantly shot you down. If that's the case, they'll get the ball rolling again. But it has to be unambiguous; anything less and you cut her loose. They're very good at making inexperienced men look like fools.

Remember, chicks are great, but no one chick is worth more than your self-esteem.


I am
The Main Event.
 
Last edited:

Ridingthelightning

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Quiet girls are the greatest. I've made a lot of good friends that are quiet girls.
I start off by looking at them, holding a gaze, and then give them a sly smile, or look at them mean and squint my eyes, then the sly smile.
The best way to "pry them open" is to make them laugh. Everyone loves to laugh. If she's quiet, then she usually doesn't talk with a lot of people, and probably no one makes her laugh. So, if you make her laugh, then you've got your foot in the door.
What I do is kinda the opposite of negative hits, I play them on myself. Keep in mind, as a DJ you want to make yourself look good, but by using opposite neg.hits, you show them that you have a sense of humor and can laugh at yourself, and knowingly open yourself up to criticism.
Ask her what she's up to, how's life, how are you today?

Conversation example -
Me: Whats goin' on?
Her: (usually with a awkward look then a slight smile) Nothing much
Me: Cool. Are you having fun?
Her: With what?
Me: In class/sitting here/reading that book/etc. ?
Her: Yeah/No
Me: (if she says yes) Thats good
Me: (if she says no) Why not?

Keep the conversation going!
Best of Luck


RTL
 
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