Any of you guys ever get in slumps?

[captain55]

You have a beautiful girlfriend who thinks your great, your getting hit on by women all the time even turning down hot women, and your confidence is sky high. Your just in the ZONE.

Fast forward some months later and your beautiful gf has dumped you, a couple harsh rejections here and there, a couple girls telling you they're not interested or have men already and you begin doubting yourself. I'm not one to let one rejection fickle him I have very thick skin but I take a lot of pride in my ability to get women. therefore I accept that rejection may have an effect on me at some point and it's starting to.

What can I do to not let women have such a large effect on my overall self worth? I don't want to have to feel like I need to be wanted by women to make myself happy like I've always done in the past.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

You have a beautiful girlfriend who thinks your great, your getting hit on by women all the time even turning down hot women, and your confidence is sky high. Your just in the ZONE.

Because you're so pumped and overflowing with validation from others.

Fast forward some months later and your beautiful gf has dumped you, a couple harsh rejections here and there, a couple girls telling you they're not interested or have men already and you begin doubting yourself. I'm not one to let one rejection fickle him I have very thick skin but I take a lot of pride in my ability to get women. therefore I accept that rejection may have an effect on me at some point and it's starting to.

Your claim that you have "thick skin" is a bit suspect but more important than that is that you ought to reserve most of your pride for activities and pursuits under your control - this can mean staying in tip-top shape, being a great writer, pulling a computer apart and putting it back together, climbing mountains, you get the point.

Slumps are good too. I'll bet that your improved ability to get women means so much to you because at one point you simply weren't very good at all, maybe you were downright awful - you had to work at it, you had to earn it. Slumps, in a way, bring you back to that state, along with the added benefit of staving off that timeless formidable foe: boredom.

What can I do to not let women have such a large effect on my overall self worth? I don't want to have to feel like I need to be wanted by women to make myself happy like I've always done in the past.

You readjust your values. I'm not suggesting you drop pursuing women or scale it back dramatically, but you have to have something you can fall back on in the face of rejection, something that ranks higher - much, much higher - than girls, something you can say to yourself that would sound a bit like "I didn't get any new girls tonight, but at least I'm still an awesome chef/engineer/thinker/body builder/designer/physicist etc." In other words, if someone were to ask you "as far as accomplishments go, what matters most to you?", your response should not be "getting women". Women ought to be closer to a 'hobby' than a 'career', if you will. Readjust your values.

 

[Desdinova]

I'm sort of in one right now, but it's not affecting me emotionally. I'm enjoying being status-free for the time being. I haven't had any truly interesting prospects cross my path, mainly because I've been too busy with work and life in general and haven't been able to go out and meet women. In fact, I don't really have any desire to do approaches or anything. I've just been going out and having fun. If something interesting crosses my path, then it's game-on.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Dude ive had peaks where ive banged 6 chicks in a month

Then ive had slumps where ive banged 1 in 6 months

Playing a good game is hard work and time consuming it can take a lot out of you especially if you get too involved with a chick..........

unfortunately as men we do actually have other parts of our life’s to crack on with

Unless you want to dedicate your life to chasing and banging women then you got to face the reality that sometimes you are going to have those slumps

Just gotta remember that nothing lasts forever

Dont let it get to you too much man ....just think of what you HAVE accomplished and what you WILL accomplish

 

[RangerMIke]

Slumps usually have more to do with what's going on in your life outside of women. These set backs push you off center, women pick up on this and it effects your game.

When this happens its usually best to just focus on your purpose and yourself. Fix that and your game gets better.

Get validation from your life not women... because if you don't and you hit a slump your own self worth falls into a tail spin and it is hard to pull out.

 

[LMFAO]

Peaks and slumps certainly do happen, even to the very best. There was a video of RSD Tyler completely being useless after 3 months of just working on other parts of the RSD business such as marketing and not going out much. You are not always going to be in your peak form and bad luck can come in spades. In general the more you dedicate to it the more you'll get out of it so don't be down if for a couple of month not much happens you still have it in you.

 

[zekko]

There was a video of RSD Tyler completely being useless after 3 months of just working on other parts of the RSD business such as marketing and not going out much. .

Tyler is supposed to be one of the best pickup guys in the world. He's spent his whole life honing his craft and spent untold numbers of hours working at it, adjusting, improving, and tweaking. But how good can any of this stuff really be if he turns to sh!t after a few months off? Sounds like he relies more on momentum than anything else.

 

[SteR]

I've always thought having slumps is just a natural part of life. As one of my friends used to say: "You can't win all the time".

In hindsight, whenever I look at the slumps I've been in, it's usually around the same time that I've experienced personal growth (I guess from trying to get out of the slump) so I suppose you can view these situations as opportunities? Of course this is easier said than done.. and like everyone else, I find it quite difficult to stay positive during those periods...

 

[Between_The_Lines]

Peaks and slumps certainly do happen, even to the very best. There was a video of RSD Tyler completely being useless after 3 months of just working on other parts of the RSD business such as marketing and not going out much. You are not always going to be in your peak form and bad luck can come in spades. In general the more you dedicate to it the more you'll get out of it so don't be down if for a couple of month not much happens you still have it in you.

I remember that video. Looked somewhat contrived, similar to what his most recent demonstration of what an "overly gamey" approach looks like. I'm not disagreeing that all of us have off nights which can sometimes even spiral into off months, even Tyler, but Zekko makes a good point - the Lebron James of pickup steps away from the game for a little while, and now he's missing layups?? Side eye...

 

[Zarky]

All the time, OP. All the time.