An introduction

[orthanc]

Hello all. As there seems to be no forum with the express purpose of hosting introductions, I have decided the most logical place to post one would be here. Please feel free to move or delete.

That being said, I've recently stumbled across the forums and found them to be quite informative. It may be readily apparent that I am not very successful with girls, for why else would I be here.

So, about me. I've been told that I am reasonably handsome on multiple occasions, though I have no objective measure of comparison. I tend to behave very intellectually and rationally, especially when meeting new people (you might be able to tell that by the admittedly stifling tone of this post). I consider myself to be very smart, and often apply this intelligence too much in situations which don't require very much intellectuality. (I realize my immodesty, but I might as well be honest about my opinions) This probably doesn't help socially. I'm shy around people I don't know, which begs the question how did I ever meet anyone. The short answer is I don't really know. Anyway, with my friends I'm very open and talkative. Please understand I don't actually or always speak this way, but when using a written medium it is very difficult to not fall back to a more direct and rational form of communication.

Obviously, there are girls to which I am attracted (I am a guy, after all), and earlier this month I decided I didn't want to constantly feel as if I was left out of the party (wow that sounds sad. Oh well.) So here I am. Hi everyone.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Welcome to school, grasshopper!

Your words are well written - but you write that you lack the spoken word.

Some of us here can get women at will - I am here solely as an advice giver - oh, and as an irritant at times!

There is a "shy" thread currently on the main page of the forum - read it

 

[orthanc]

Hello LMS, quite honestly I was not expecting such a prompt reply.

I came back just to quickly elaborate on the girls I had mentioned earlier, for clarification purposes.

One of these is very nearly a 10, and is someone who I would really enjoy talking to. Unfortunately, there is almost no pretext I could use for such an engagement, as I've never been introduced or otherwise brought into proximity to her.

There is another girl who I also find very attractive, probably in the 8.1-8.3 range (just above an 8, basically), who I have actually had chance to interact with. This is mostly in the context of a class, where I'm much more talkative.

There are also a few others, but those are the two who I had in mind when writing my original post.

Oh LMS: Which "shyness" thread do you mean? I only see one, 80% of which seems to be arguing about whether or not the guy is a "troll" or not. TBH this is not very helpful.

 

[Last Man Standing]

This thread has to do with "Quietness" http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=115158

If you do a search for "shy" you will find plenty!


I'll give you a pretext for approaching your girls, grasshopper -- give me more info - are they both in school - what class - and where else do you see them?

 

[orthanc]

Yes, we all attend the same school. FYI it's a boarding school.

The second girl I mentioned (for clarity purposes I'm going to start referring to her as C) were in an American History course last term. The other (M) I've never met in class or otherwise. There is no way of knowing whether or not I'll have either of them in class again until the beginning of next term.

There is always a likelihood of me running into either of them somewhere around campus (dining halls, etc) but the school is fairly large, and it is not guaranteed that these incidences will occur. I also am part of an a Capella group, and one of the primary venues in which we perform is upon request in various girls dorms. I should point out that it was through this group that I first noticed M; we had a joint performance with the dance company (they basically have us there to boost attendance lol).

 

[GloriouslyInsane]

Seems like intelligence,even though a powerful weapon is what afcs are made of.I used to be that way,my best advise is to take everything on this site with a grain of salt and forget logic when dealing with women.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Do you go to group or campus events, parties etc.?

On the history babe – the next time you see her use that as a reference point for conversing with her – “So did you learn anything in history class?” “Yeah, the teacher was a little crazy/eccentric though” You say, "He sure was, I think he made some of that stuff up - it wasn't history rather it was His Story! Then you do a drum roll with your mouth and put your hands out at the same time!

What is your major” “Are you a Sophomore” – you know, the basic college talk.

Then say, well I don’t want to have to wait to see you again until we have the next class together – let’s have lunch, go bowling, (whatever) on Thursday.

On the invisible HB 10-, it is best if you see her in a social setting to introduce yourself and make an appropriate comment(s). Otherwise it will be a cold approach and be more difficult.

A line could be “Hello. I never saw you before – are you a new “name of school” student?” – “No, I have been here for a year” “what are you majoring in?” Oh really? So you want to embalm the dead as a career? Interesting, I’ll have it in my will that my body gets delivered to you if I die! Then you do a drum roll with your mouth and put your hands out at the same time!

Then ask, how about if we continue our convo (or, if you join me) on Thursday at/for lunch? Or, I don’t want to wait a year before I talk/see you again penelapee, so lets get together this weekend?

 

[orthanc]

Thanks LMS. What is it with you and drum rolls?

I have an interesting question. I debated putting it in a different thread, but might as well keep it consolidated into one.

I've noticed on a few occasions, the most recent of which was today, that one of my odd talents can easily attract a crowd, namely the solving of the Rubik's cube (3x3x3). It easily attracts the attention of most in proximity. I was wondering how to employ this effectively, if at all. It's really not hard to solve; with enough practice almost anyone can get a 1 min time. I can see several reasons both to whip this out and not to. First of all, it's one of the ways that I often avoid people, so I'd need to work on how to use it selectively so I dont use it as an excuse. Also, its not the best way to interact with someone, seeing as I need to be looking at the thing once every 5-8 seconds (you don't need to look at the cube in the middle of algorithms, only when setting up to perform said algorithms.) Upon finishing the cube, there are two routes the conversation go. Either I am asked to explain how I do it, which is a chance for a boring lecture no one really cares about, or they ask to see the thing, they play with it for a while, then give it back and loose interest when they realize that I can solve the thing again.

There's probably way's to use the thing to my advantage, but I cant really see them.

PS: I also have a bunch of other wierd skills like this. I guess it's probably best to keep those to myself, lest I be viewed as a complete nerd.

 

[orthanc]

I realized after finishing the post I never answered your question. The short answer is that I do not go to such events that often. I'll go to performances, but usually don't attend other parties/dances, etc.

Your ideas are really helpful, particularly your advice for M (or HB10-. The nomenclature is actually very useful.)

 

[danielzxc]

You realy don't need to do magic tricks to meet people man.

I'm curious though, how does that attract a crowd exactly? I mean, if I was sitting at a cafe and saw some guy playing with a rubix cube I wouldn't pay the slightest bit of attention. People really crowd around when they notice you playing with that thing? Interesting.

But not really useful. You've said yourself you're heavily intellectual and I am sure you come across that way in conversation. Combine that with the rubix cube gimmick and I'm pretty sure most people -- hot babes, certainly -- are gonna think of you as "that nerd with the rubix cube". Being an intellectual is obviously a good thing, professionally. But in socializing, it's just "too much" for average people (even college average). They're looking for something lighter and more exciting.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Instead of drum roll it should be the "rim shot" ?- you know, the thing they do with the drums after a joke punch line - pa ra pum!

The rubiks cube solution is good to show after you know someone not before - they'll wonder why are you carrying that thing around. There is a dude that can do that in 14 seconds - he is the world champion -- they have contests!

I suggest you go to more social events and develop new friendships in college to expand your social circle.

 

[orthanc]

I don't think its the playing that people notice per se. My guess is that solving a cube is something a lot of people have tried before, and most feel they cant do it. When they see it done, they often stare, as if they cant believe you just did solved the cube. They exclaim "How did you do that?"

Solving a cube is a very deliberate process, and its pretty clear when someone knows what they're doing. Fingers move very fast, the cube isn't really all that quiet. There's videos of solutions on youtube. (Im not near the world record guys -- I can do it in about a minute or so)

The attraction most probably comes from seeing something done in one minute which people have tried to do for a lifetime. If you want a fitting analogous situation, it astounds me when I see someone walk into a room and walk straight up to a total stranger (male or female), then start chatting with them as if they're best friends.

Anyway, you're right, of course. Most people are turned off by stiff intelectualism, something I try to avoid as much as possible when talking to girls. It kinda creeps out though, no matter whom I'm talking to. As I said in the first post, I'm pretty quiet, and usually only chime in in conversation to correct or inform. Something I have to work on.

 

[danielzxc]

The attraction most probably comes from seeing something done in one minute which people have tried to do for a lifetime. If you want a fitting analogous situation, it astounds me when I see someone walk into a room and walk straight up to a total stranger (male or female), then start chatting with them as if they're best friends.

Not to get too sidetracked here, but the analogy breaks down because the confident guy walking into the room chatting up the hottest babe is cool to (virtually) everyone (except maybe man-hating ultrafeminists). The rubics cube is more of a curiousity.

Anyway, you're right, of course. Most people are turned off by stiff intelectualism, something I try to avoid as much as possible when talking to girls. It kinda creeps out though, no matter whom I'm talking to. As I said in the first post, I'm pretty quiet, and usually only chime in in conversation to correct or inform. Something I have to work on.

I guess if you're a rationalist purist (or you sympathize with them) you might see the only value of conversations being in sharing or imparting useful knowledge. But that's not always (nor often) why 'normal' (in the benign sense of the word) conversate. There's a more ineffable reason in play; "relating" they call it. I'm not really sure I can explain the whys or wherefores, just that we humans enjoy it. But isn't that sufficient?

Anyway, the point is the other party to your conversation needn't leave it one bit better informed. Knowing that, the stock of what is conversationally acceptable expands greatly. As a start, begin by taking greater interest in the less serious things your peers do. Like popular music, sports, fashion, celebrtiy goss. You don't even have to like it. In fact, your liking it is rather beside the point. Just use it as a tool to help you relate better to other people. A crutch, if you like. At some point further down the road, when you're better at conversations, you can probably discard it.