"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Am I wrong or is she? And what to do next?

J

JCKey618

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I asked my girlfriend this past Wednesday if I could come over her house and she said that her ma wouldn't let me cus she wouldn't be home so when I aked if she could come over my house instead she said sure.

Well, yesterday she told me that her two female friends had asked that morning if they could come overand she told them yes so she straight up cancelled on me.

I get home from the gym today and I IM her and we ask what eachother is doing. She says that she is hanging out with brian and brannon over her house (two guy friends of hers). She says that they are over there because one of her female friends wanted her to come over (they live close). So, I simply said, and I quote "so he can come over, but I can't?"

And then she blows up on my calling me a big cry baby and that I sound like a child who can't get what he wants. I'm like "WHAT THE ****?" The we argue some more and she says if I wanted to come over with her two female friends there, I should have asked. And I was like "SHOULD HAVE ASKED!?!?! I'm tired of this bull**** cus all it is is bull****" I proceed to say '**** you' and I sign off. I was so mad and typing so fast.

God, that girl makes me so mad.

What should I do now? We've been together for a year and a half, so I don't really want to end it.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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T

TillTheEndOfTime

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Trust me on this. Do NOT EVER, EVER add value to a relationship simply because of time. Whether you dated for 1 year or dated for 1 week. If the relationship is going bad, all the time in the world would not add any extra value to it. If she treats you like crap 2 years from now, or last year, she's still treating you like crap.

Rgeere is right when he uses the term "flakey". That described what she did. Do not trust her. Distance yourself emotionally. Withhold yourself from her and let her do the chasing. She's being a b1tch.
 
J

JCKey618

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Her friend just called me (one of the girls over her house) and she tried to mediate it cus she said Lauren was crying.

Then I talk to Lauren and she says she's sorry and I say "yeah, you really came at me wrong" and then she went off again. We got really loud, yelling at eachother. After lots of yelling (and crying on her part) later we get all quiet and all that has been said has been said.

She tells me she loves me before we got off the phone and that's that. She told me during the arguement that sometimes she feels like I care about my own feelings more than hers. That is such complete bull****. She is so flirtacious and I let it slide. She's ungrateful. I let it slide. Immature. Let it slide. Cus I know its part of her.

But every once in a while I feel like I can't let it slide. And when I do say something she always blows up about it.

I'm going to college in 6 months and I won't have to deal with this **** anymore. Thank the lord.
 
W

Wyldfire

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Why can other guys be in her house without her parents there but you can't be? I mean, as a parent I completely understand why they have that rule...I have the same one...but it's the same with all kids, male, female, friends or boyfriends/girlfriends. If I'm not home there are NO kids allowed here, period. Breaking this rule is a guarantee of being grounded for a month without any chance for debate, period.

The girl is wrong but you reacted badly to the situation, too. She doesn't respect you and is walking all over you. In this particular situation you need to tell her that yes you are angry and you have every right to be. She told you that you aren't allowed in her house without her parents there, which you respected, but she invited two other guys in when she had already made plans to come to your house. She cancelled on you to have her female friends over, but it turned out that she cancelled with her boyfriend to hang out with two other guys. Ask her if she would like for you to ditch going to her house to hang out with two girls at your house. Then proceed to tell her that if she can't understand why her behavior was wrong then she needs to find herself another boyfriend who is willing to be disrespected because you aren't.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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S

sexual_intellectual

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Are you wrong or is she?

If this is the full story - she is, no question.

What next?

Some soul searching?

"She is so flirtacious and I let it slide. She's ungrateful. I let it slide. Immature. Let it slide. Cus I know its part of her.

But every once in a while I feel like I can't let it slide. And when I do say something she always blows up about it."

Sooner or later - you're not going to be able to go on like this. You should determine yor standards - exactly how much trashy behaviour will you let slide? (and don't delude yourself - until you find a PERFECT woman - and they're kinda rare! - you'll have to put up with some!)

Draw lines. Let her know what the lines are. If she crosses them without remorse or by accident and doesn't care to try and stop stepping over your lines "by accident" then she's gotta go.

If she was my woman, she wouldn't be any more.
 
J

JCKey618

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That's the full story. Her main argument is that she should be able to spend time with her friends. With me, that's not even the issue. The issue was how she talked to me after I aksed a simple question.

You know, if it wasn't for the fact that I'd have to see er every f'ing day at school I'd say buh-bye. Oh, well. In 3 months school will not be an issue.
 
T

TillTheEndOfTime

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Originally posted by JCKey618
That's the full story. Her main argument is that she should be able to spend time with her friends. With me, that's not even the issue. The issue was how she talked to me after I aksed a simple question.

You know, if it wasn't for the fact that I'd have to see er every f'ing day at school I'd say buh-bye. Oh, well. In 3 months school will not be an issue.
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It's not like you're being controlling and not letting her see her friends. You're just mad because she pulled some double standard kind of BS on you and just cancelled her plans with you so abruptly without thought.

Women love to make you feel like everything is your fault and they are good at it. The girl sounds like she thrives on drama. I would not be surprised if she actually enjoyed your argument. If I were you I'd drop her period, regardless of how often you have to see her. Let her cry and pull AW drama queen episodes on you. You don't need that.
 
R

RoeCyris

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Originally posted by JCKey618
She told me during the arguement that sometimes she feels like I care about my own feelings more than hers. That is such complete bull****.
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It is bull**** b/c EVERYONE CARES MORE ABOUT THEIR OWN FEELINGS!!! U know why? Cuz humans lack the ability to read minds. You can care ABOUT her and her well being and hope for her to be happy but at the end of the night you only have onc voice in your head and unless your really ****ed up, it's not hers.


Drop this ***** like its hot and spend the next 6 months gettin as many chicks as possible. Call her friend back and tell her to come over and u and her will talk about it w/o ur girl, that way you can get a 3rd opinion. Cry on her shoulder and bang the hell out of her. Trust me, it will work.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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