Am I the only one.?

[B0SS MAN]

Hey guys. I've been browsing the forums for awhile now and I've finally decided to join. I'm a sophophomore in high school and I'm looking to improve my game with the girls. My problem is in the area of actually scoring with girls.

By no means am I the emotional tampon, but I'm always seen with a girl and they seem to really like me as a friend but I don't get any play. I have a ****y and funny attitude and I don't put up with anything from girls but I never get farther than the friends zone. I'm not the text a million times a day guy or anything like that and my free time is mainly spent on basketball plus I'm popular (the whole social proof thing).

I honestly have no idea what I'm doing wrong. I try to just be myself but I see guys who I know are no better than me walk away with the girl I want. Can anybody relate and help me get past this barrier?

 

[eaglez1177]

First off, welcome to SS. To start out, I HIGHLY reccommend you read the DJ Bible, or if not that, at least the HS Bible. The bible is an excellent foundation for beginners, and will REALLY help you out.

Secondly, the reason why you keep winding up in the friend zone is because you dont kino enough. Kino'ing a girl is having contact with her, as in anything from a playful highful to a sexual back massage. By using kino, you show girls that you want to be sexual, and not be just friends. Try to use kino as much as possible, trust me you will see a big difference in the way girls look at you.

 

[Igetit!]

I agree with Eaglez,you're not being sexual/romantic enough.

I've read all of what you've said here,and there's ONE ELEMENT I see missing.


You joke,you play,you tease,your ****y/funny,you're not an emotional tampon,and while all that is fine and dandy,here's my question...


Do you ever ask these girls out,you know,like on a date?


I get that you like to joke and play around with these girls,but when it comes to actually going out on a date,you want to be serious.



So,out of all these girls you've gotten friendzoned by,how many of them have you actually asked out before the friendzone occured?

By no means am I the emotional tampon, but I'm always seen with a girl and they seem to really like me as a friend but I don't get any play.

Ok,when you say you're "seen" with a girl,what does that mean? What,you "hang out" with her?

That shouldn't be.



Girls are emotional,so if you "hang out" with a girl,joking and playing with her for a while,EMOTIONALLY,she'll feel like you are a friend because that's what she does with her girlfriends.



It's ok to hang out with a girl AS LONG AS she's NOT someone you want to date.



I know this may sound crazy,but if you want to date her,DON'T HANG OUT with her.

I have a ****y and funny attitude and I don't put up with anything from girls but I never get farther than the friends zone.

****y/funny isn't enough. I don't think you understand...


You're goal is a date,right? That's ultimately what you want.


****y/funny is just a STEP along the way to THAT goal.




It's like baking a cake: The CAKE is ultimately what you want to end up with,but before you get there,there are steps you need to take along the way.



You have to get the flour ready,blend the eggs,measure the sugar,pre-heat the oven,etc. You do all these things ALONG THE WAY to getting the cake (the goal).




****y funny is just ONE step in the process. It seems to me that you're expecting that one step to do everything and get you the girl.



That's not how it works.



Like I said in the beginning:There's ONE ELEMENT I see missing,and that one element was you ASKING THE GIRL OUT/risking rejection.



You can do EVERYTHING ELSE,but unless you ask her out,you're friendzone bound...GUARANTEED.

Can anybody relate and help me get past this barrier?

Yeah,ask the girl out.

Don't spend 3 or 4 weeks being ****y/funny and teasing a girl WITHOUT telling her you want to take her out.



She might enjoy you being funny and playful,but she won't feel any sexual attraction for you.


Even a boring guy will get farther by asking a girl out than a guy who's joking,teasing,and negging WITHOUT telling her you want to see her.

 

[B0SS MAN]

First off, welcome to SS. To start out, I HIGHLY reccommend you read the DJ Bible, or if not that, at least the HS Bible. The bible is an excellent foundation for beginners, and will REALLY help you out.

Secondly, the reason why you keep winding up in the friend zone is because you dont kino enough. Kino'ing a girl is having contact with her, as in anything from a playful highful to a sexual back massage. By using kino, you show girls that you want to be sexual, and not be just friends. Try to use kino as much as possible, trust me you will see a big difference in the way girls look at you.

Thank you, it's great to be here. This is from my other post, you guys asked relatively the same question, but it's always good to ask for a second opinion.
(I posted the same question in another area of the forum so more people could see it)

I try to be playful and a good flirt. If she says something I don't like I tell her we're going to fight and when we text I use a lot of =P and =) smileys. I look every girl in the eye. In person, I'm not shy to touch. If I see a girl with a ring on her hand I'll reach for it and take a look at it and she'll usually tell me a story about where she got it from or whatever, I'll give high fives depending on the situation, and if she actually takes the fighting thing literally, I'll hug her from behind if she tries to hit me and run and she'll usually just end up laughing. If she spells something wrong I'll usually say something like and you're in what grade? If I just got out the shower and she asks what I'm up to I'll say something like just got out the shower and to stop getting mental images. Just things like that.

 

[B0SS MAN]

To Igetit!:

1. Yea. I've asked them out and they all seemed enthusiastic about going out with me but the dates never actually happen

2. What I mean is I constantly get attention from girls and I walk with them with my arm around them.

3. What other things do I need to incorporate besides being ****y and funny?

 

[eaglez1177]

Thank you, it's great to be here. This is from my other post, you guys asked relatively the same question, but it's always good to ask for a second opinion.
(I posted the same question in another area of the forum so more people could see it)

I try to be playful and a good flirt. If she says something I don't like I tell her we're going to fight and when we text I use a lot of =P and =) smileysthats not exactly being playful...its more being just kinda girly...try to be playful in person. I look every girl in the eye. In person, I'm not shy to touch. If I see a girl with a ring on her hand I'll reach for it and take a look at it and she'll usually tell me a story about where she got it from or whatever, I'll give high fives depending on the situation, and if she actually takes the fighting thing literally, I'll hug her from behind if she tries to hit me and run and she'll usually just end up laughing. If she spells something wrong I'll usually say something like and you're in what grade? If I just got out the shower and she asks what I'm up to I'll say something like just got out the shower and to stop getting mental images. Just things like that.

Well to me it seems you've definitely got some good potential. You say what comes to your mind and you seem to be very comfortable around girls. That in itself is a very good quality which many guys dont have.

And if your dates are just falling through and not going anywhere, it probably means the girl wasnt interested in the first place, and wanted to just be nice to you about it (meaning she probably accepted your offer and seemed enthusiatic, but did not follow through with it). Dont forget, judge girls by their ACTIONS and ACTIONS ONLY, not their WORDS.

Like I said, you'll find a lot of help by reading the Bible, and also saying that because the questions you are asking are very basic, and theres loads of stuff in the Bible to answer them. In general though, you should want to include neg hits as well as kino.

 

[colombiandude]

haha. i can relate to you acutally. im a sophomore. started my journey 4 months ago or so. and you just get better. you have to have the right mindset and basically read the dj bible. madddd useful.

kino-wise read this article. http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16712