"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Am I The Only One In Here That Is NOT Into ONS/FB's/FWB's ????

Sexplicite

Don Juan
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As much as I talk about sex openly at times on a few sites -- I am FAR from the type to have ONS or FB relationships. I am just not built that way nor it's in my nature.

To any of those that can relate.....


Speak on it.................
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Dirtheart

Master Don Juan
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I can relate. I've had a number of relationships and a few flings which I hoped would develop into more, but ONS or FBs have never appealed to me.

Maybe because I've had emotional relationships, casual sex feels empty. I'm also turned off by women who give it up too easily to anyone. I like to think that she has some class.
 

Austin Allegro

Master Don Juan
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I'm with Dirtheart. But one of the things I've noticed since becoming a DJ is that ONS/STR becomes very easy to obtain.

When I was AFC and put women on pedestals, I thought it was 'disrespectful' to engage in ONS/STR with women, and anyway I didn't have the skills or confidence to obtain it.

But once you know how to get them, it can occassionally be very tempting to give in to ONS/STR as we all get 'the urge' now and then.

I try to avoid ONS/STR, but there's a problem. Once you become a DJ you realise any attempt to plan, influence or envisage a particular outcome to a relationship is doomed to failure from the start. If you try to get an LTR, you'll most probably fail. It seems more in keeping with the DJ philosophy to just enjoy what comes your way, and also to NEXT anyone who shows red flags - the downside of this is a lot of STRs.
 

mrbrooklyn

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What is up with you foreigners not wanting to phuck. All sex feels good wether it be from a ONS or a MLTR. You brits are quite strange. I have some friends in italy and france and these guys are all about the getting laid. They are some of the best playboys i know.

If you want to have a girlfriend cool, but if you don't have one..... I say meaningless sex is better than no sex.
 

LogicalOptimist

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You're not the only one.

Many men are into it just because it's fun; they have ONSs for the thrill of it, in itself. Many others (probably more than the first category) aren't sure; they know it's "the thing to do" according to society so they just go for it without really questioning it. Typically, those men wander over to LTRs eventually as they get older. Another bracket of men keeps going for ONSs because they're hopelessly addicted to sex and can't imagine anything else. I know people in the last group. To them, they see sex as release (negative reinforcement (not punishment) to psych majors) rather than rather than pleasure or reward (postitive reinforcement).

So then you view sex as worthwhile only when both people are emotionally attached?

I don't see anything wrong with that, do you? You'll probably run into a quantity problem, but the quality will make up for it.

In the end, it's all about what you want. Don't let another man's tastes dictate yours.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Paintballguy

Master Don Juan
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I enjoy the occasional ONS from a party but having a good relationship would be nice. I just can't seem to find a women that doesnt turn psycho.
 

princelydeeds

Master Don Juan
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Sum of you guys sound like women. You're soooo emotional! I like sex in all forms, ONS, LTR and casually. It's not really a one or the other kind of thing. If I meet a chick at a bar and she wants to fcuck and never speak to me again, FINE, I don't care. If I meet a chick and all she wants is to bone once a week and have no real relationship, FINE I enjoy that too! If I meet a chick and Im feeling her on the LTR level then thats fine too!!! I say take it however it comes. Have fun be happy.
 

OzzyBoy

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I'm in the same boat as you buddy. I have never had a ONS or FB and i have never really thought about it that much either. I guess its just the way i was raised, i suppose going to a christian school for nearly 10 years might have had something to do with it and going to church just about every sunday until about five or six years ago.
 

Austin Allegro

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Originally posted by mrbrooklyn
What is up with you foreigners not wanting to phuck. All sex feels good wether it be from a ONS or a MLTR. You brits are quite strange. I have some friends in italy and france and these guys are all about the getting laid. They are some of the best playboys i know.

If you want to have a girlfriend cool, but if you don't have one..... I say meaningless sex is better than no sex.
Oh yeah we all know the Frogs and the Wops are sex gods. :eek:

I think most of us Brits are probably closet homosexuals - since we all go to single sex boarding schools. Then again, perhaps it's just our bad teeth that repels women...:rolleyes:
 

sweetypie

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humm

I really like what Logical optimist said. Its not about what 9 of your homies are doing , its about what you want to do. Let them catch STD's while your getting a hot home cooked meal froma woman they'll never be able to burn.

LMAO

You do you, don't worry about these other men who can't keep a woman so they fool themselves into thinking that ONS are better then LTR. Come on now, don't fall for this one. If you want to screw then don't be in commitment, if you want the commitment, then screw her and forever hold your peace. This one is simple.
:p
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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