Drake, she likely doesn't even realize that's what it's about. When you get wound up in a power struggle like that you tend to lose sight of how it all started. All she likely knows is that she is unhappy and feels like you look down on her, which will lead her to have those feelings she described. Instead of encouraging her you were discouraging her and putting her down, and even if it's subtle, it will still have a damaging effect. The gaining weight and depression you mention is a huge indicator to that. You bruised her self esteem and led her to question her worthiness as a person. Again...if you want to fix things you will need to go back to where it all started and talk about what you needed from her without doing it in a way that makes her feel badly about herself.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Am I playing this right??
- Thread starter drake
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