"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Am I dumb or is it just wishful thinking?

theunflushables

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So, I don't know if I am missing all the cues, or if I am just off in some imaginary universe, but in a moment of drunken confusion, I do not know what to make of this whole situation.

Backstory: At a former job, I meet a girl that I make a "friend" as I am in a LTR at the time".I help hook her up with a co-worker who in the end turns out to be a douche.

Present day: Former co-worker does not show his doucheness until after they are living together. She wants to leave but can not because he does not work enough to pay his own way and she gets stuck with the bills, meaning she can not save money up to leave his ass. Meantime, I am no longer in a LTR. We start hanging out every few weekends while he is working (wedding DJ). Yet nothing "happens" as we're both the type of people who would not help someone else cheat. We hang out, drink, go to shows at local bars, race her Impreza through a local park, go for walks, etc., etc.

Don't get me wrong, we have a lot in common, but I do no think she is the "one". I gave up on that notion after the third of fourth "one". She is however someone I could see some starting some sort of relationship with.

Tonight we hung out, went for dinner, and went to see some bands play at a bar, and then hung out with some of her friends afterwards. When she dropped me off, she gave me a hug (which is normal and no big deal), but added this weird head rub/scratch thing (if my hair wasn't super short right now it would have been equivalent to running her fingers through my hair). Being a drunken fool I said something like "I wish we could hang out more often." To which her reply was "Don't worry, we will."

I find myself questioning the whole thing. Am I being dumb and missing every sign possible? Am I being too wishful and thinking she wants me?

Also, let me say (and not to put her on a pedstal, because she isn't perfect, just like all of us) she is not the typical girl. She is not an AW, she is rather low-key (how many girls do you know that change shirts before going to a bar to hide cleavage?) nor is she the type of the person who sleeps with a random person, or cheats no matter how crappy the relationship she is currently in. And, I don't say this as someone who wants to justify anything, but as someone who has known her outside of ANY chance of getting with her in the past (my former LTR, hers as well).

Anyways, any insight would be greatly appreciated.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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I.A.F.Y.B.

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Well, she likes hanging out with you. What kind of interest is she showing you when you 2 are hanging out. Does, it seem more friendly or more than that?
 

theunflushables

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Lot of eye contact, touching both direct (quick one hand back rub, hand on arm to illustrate a point) and indirect (legs/arms brushing against each other while sitting at a table), buys me drinks, things said/messaged like "lets run away to Fiji"

And I feel really dumb asking this stuff, but the last time I've actually had an interest in a specific person was my pre-DJ days, normall allmy relarionships and hook ups have been random. That's where my concern is, I don't want to be reversing to my AFC days unwittingly.
 

PectoralisMajor

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tricky one without seeing her body language..suggest upping the touching in a harmless fun way - I do this with all my girlfriends.

See whether you get a positive reaction back from the extra touching ( when appropriate), and try swaying in a non obvious way towards more sexual talk. I cant teach you how to do this, but you can say things like ' that top looks sexy' or your 'looking lovely tonight', you get the idea...

on the whole though, sounds positive. get in before you miss the action to some other dude.
 
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