Am i being too strict?

[stevey_2000]

Fellow DJ's,

recently i've been doing a little bit of thinking and i really do think i'm being too strict with the rules of being a DJ, i'm only seeing girls for 3-4 weeks at the most because the least bit of s*** then i bail out...latest throwaways have happened because...

* Girl simply tried to make me jealous everytime she was with me, probably because she thought she wasn't good enough for me but with the attitude like that, she wasn't!!

* Girl was too clingy and wanted to come out with my mates and used to love also making me jealous, again...NEXT!!

* Girl was not only 10 years older than me, but she had 3 kids and was notoriously a girl that slept around with 'anyone'
, OH, and she had a boyfriend that was a bouncer!

Everytime i meet a girl that i think is the LTR, it turns out 'not to be'!!, i'm 24 now though so i can feel the clock ticking away and i'm beginning to think i'm becoming too strict with them.

what do you guys think?, am i being too strict with the rules?

 

[Bungo Pony]

* Girl simply tried to make me jealous everytime she was with me, probably because she thought she wasn't good enough for me but with the attitude like that, she wasn't!!

When a girl is trying to make you jealous, she's simply testing you. It's not necessarily a bad thing, all you have to do is pass the test. You have to act like it doesn't bother you, and she'll quit doing it. When me and my gf started dating, she tried this on me as well. Women use this test to see if there's any insecurity in you. If you pass the test, you'll definately benefit.

As for the other points you mentioned such as kids and clinginess, they're red flags and show signs of problems in the future should you get involved with the girl. You had every right to NEXT them.

 

[RKTek]

Under those circumstances, I'd bail too.

What you might want to consider is not physically "NEXT" ing them, rather mentally and emotionally nexting them until something better comes along. Be advised that this takes a bit more strength and strong personal 'boundaries', since you'll basically be leading her on knowing full well she's not the 'one' for you.

The DJ way was formulated to protect YOU from getting into situations for the rest of your life. You're doing fine.

 

[PRMoon]

Don't feel bad the clock ticks for us all, not just you. We're all in it to win it and by steady DJ practicing we all weed out the ones we know aren't going to work out. We know this because as DJ's we know what to look for as well as pick up on the signs of something going wroing before it does. Your high turn over is a sign that you're doing things right. You're not beings stict you're being right. The more dating you do the better your chances are for finding the right girl for your aspiring LTR. An LTR that will be far far more rewarding because you know what to look for.

I also wouldn't concider 24 as running out of time. You're still deep in the game and there's little chance of you loosing it anytime soon.

 

[matius]

Yeah, running out of time!? Are you kidding me. I'll be 24 in less than a month and I'm like, I got so much time...not even looking to get married any time soon. If you keep meeting new, interesting and attractive women, everything will fall into place eventually >> no worries.

 

[myfriendblu]

Originally posted by stevey_2000
Fellow DJ's,

recently i've been doing a little bit of thinking and i really do think i'm being too strict with the rules of being a DJ, i'm only seeing girls for 3-4 weeks at the most because the least bit of s*** then i bail out...latest throwaways have happened because...

** Girl simply tried to make me jealous everytime she was with me, probably because she thought she wasn't good enough for me but with the attitude like that, she wasn't!!

Good stuff. I woulda nexted this chik too...

** Girl was too clingy and wanted to come out with my mates and used to love also making me jealous, again...NEXT!!

Clingy and jealous at the same time? hmmmm....sounds to me your a bit insecure and worried about the attention she gets from other guys..

** Girl was not only 10 years older than me, but she had 3 kids and was notoriously a girl that slept around with 'anyone'
, OH, and she had a boyfriend that was a bouncer!

Good call

**Everytime i meet a girl that i think is the LTR, it turns out 'not to be'!!, i'm 24 now though so i can feel the clock ticking away and i'm beginning to think i'm becoming too strict with them.

Are you Kidding? Dude, your a friggen kid for crying out loud. Alot of people here on the board don't get started until there 30's/

**what do you guys think?, am i being too strict with the rules?

Not really....Keep going its gonna take more than three tries

 

[violator]

Being too strict? No.

You are in full DJ mode by the way you described the situation. Either because you have absorbed the information found in this site or because you are a natural DJ, you are quickly weeding out women who don't meet you criteria for an LTR. You are keen to the "red flags" as they come and you act accordingly by nexting.

However, it takes emotional strength to keep those women you only want for sex because like RKTEK said, you have to learn how to emotionally detach yourself from them knowing that sooner or later you are going to ditch them after you get bored.

I have dated girls with similar traits and I only wished that I had nexted them sooner. Whereas my turnover rate used to be measured in months now they are weeks or even days.

You are doing a fine job.

 

[myfriendblu]

Originally posted by violator
I have dated girls with similar traits and I only wished that I had nexted them sooner. Whereas my turnover rate used to be measured in months now they are weeks or even days.

You are doing a fine job.

Couldn't agree more. I too, at first, even being a somewhat "Natural" DJ definitely made this mistake first, big time. I would say this is probably the most common mistake of newly reformed DJ's. Of all the AFC habits to break, even when your a reformed DJ, this is definitely the biggest hurdle to climb. So don't beat yourself up over it.

 

[PEACEDJ]

Your not strict your insecurities are showing though..

 

[stevey_2000]

WOW!, thanks very much for the feedback fellow DJ's!!

i do know that i'm well into the game and i have read the DJ bible so many times!

MYFRIENDBLU: i havn't only got rid of 3 girls but they are just some examples of why i've been NEXT'ing them!

nice to know that you all feel that i'm not being too much of a tw@t!, i will carry on doing this in future , not saying 24 is old, but it seems quite a while since i was a teenager

cheers,

Ste.

 

[gr8one]

Sigh....

Some ho's simply have no MANNERS...NEXT!

 

[TheCloser]

If you have a certain standard on relationships, then you have to keep that standard. Otherwise you are going to settle and things will go downhill from there. Keep your high standards, but maybe instead of dumping girls for trying to make you jealous, call her on it, and confront her. Do it in a c/f way which will make her uncomfortable and she will stop doing it....but then again, if you really liked her, that wouldn't have caused the NEXTing.

Later

 

[Ronin I]

Personally I don't think you're being too strict - (from the way you descirbed the girls here).

recently i've been doing a little bit of thinking and i really do think i'm being too strict with the rules of being a DJ, i'm only seeing girls for 3-4 weeks at the most because the least bit of s*** then i bail out...latest throwaways have happened because...

BUT, my only criticsm would be that instead of bailing at the least bit of **** you could maybe try explaining to these girls what it is about their behavior that you find unacceptable and then see if they can improve on it.

Afterall, nobody's perfect. Sure these types of behaviors can be viewed as Red Flags but everybody (man or woman) has certain red flags - and without communicating them to the other person they're not going to have the impetus to change.