Alright, I'll admit it.. I'm a *****(pus-ay).

[hfxchef]

It's true. I'm not really afraid to admitting it either.

I'm a pusssy.

If I see a girl that I like, I'll be cool but I always turn out to be just their 'friend,' which pisses me off, and I've had it. I'm eighteen, and I've never had a single girlfriend in my entire life.

There's a girl that I'm really into right now. Her and I are clicking, but she's not giving me the time of day (she has too many friends - must be a sign) and the thing that I always do is once I find a girl a like, I <i>only</i> focus all of my attention on her, and that's not right. I hide the fact that I'm desperate to her, I sometimes even lie and say I'm busy when I'm really not busy at all, and yes, it's worked to an effect, but I <i>really</i> want to be busy with other girls. Focusing all of my attention on one girl is stupid.

I'm starting to fess up with myself that I really do need some help, so I came on here.

I know there's lots of guides that I have to read in order to improve my social skills with the women (I'd say my confidence, and how insecure I can be are the two most negative factors about myself), but it's hard.

Everytime I tell myself that I'm totally going to change my attitude around girls, I turn into a depressed ***** thinking that no girls are going to talk to me, or even be interested in me. Hell, I know for a fact that I look good too. I've been told by my girl 'friends' that I look really good but it's my personality that ****s everything up.

So that's why I'm here. It's time to start a new leaf.. I can't let these women walk all over me. ****, I'm the man. She shouldn't be doing that.

Anyways, what would your suggestion be? Should I immediatly read the boot camp guide and follow it to a tea? Or are there various things I can do at once?

Thanks.

 

[Alphathree]

Just remember that once you learn to read female signals, they will speak to you very clearly. Men don't call women. Women call them.

This is not propaganda. This is the truth. I've had women in my life that have called me every single day, one or two times a day. Hot women.

A lot of people here seem to be interested in pursuing women, not realizing that they will pursue you. You try too hard.

Don't put too much effort into your game. Effort means trying to keep conversations going, trying to see her too much, trying to talk to her too much, thinkin too hard about what to say.

I see a lot of guys walking around campus strutting, checking themselves out, swinging their arms while they walk, their heads bobbing up and down.

Through the lens that I see life, they look dumb. They are posers trying too hard. Women think this too.

Picking up women is rediculously easy if only you stop trying so hard. The best way I can describe this is that it will feel very natural when you get it right (unlike canned lines and techniques).

If you play a sport or social dance, you'll know that there's a certain way of doing something that just feels good when you do it right. Effortless perfection.

I teach swing dancing, for example, and I often notice that beginners try way too hard. I tell them to take a step here or there, and they try to do something flashy as if it's supposed to impress me.

When taking a step in dancing, it's not about being flashy (usually), it's about moving your center of mass overtop of your foot. (Not unlike atheletics.) It's subtle. Done well, it looks effortless and it feels effortless.

My favorite dancing joke is to say to a student "I'm going to show you advanced footwork". Then I lead a girl through some pattern without moving my feet at all-- my feet don't leave the floor, I just stand there.

 

[Tomb]

First off you're only 18. You are way ahead of the game to discover this information now. If I had learn this material at your age, the amount of pu$$y I get would at least triple. So don't beat yourself up too much. But it's good that you're sick of your self to do something about it.

So if you want to improve your personality. Change doesn't happen overnight so be prepare to put in alot of time and effort. Yea, go through the bootcamp. Also, try and get a social life. Make alot of friends with both guys and girls. Actually it helps even more to have tons of guy friends cuz you can learn from them directly. Everyone should get to know at least one good DJ in real life. My progress became huge when I had a master DJ with me, he taught me all the ropes and saw all my mistakes. And when you hang out with the right people with the mindset that you want to learn and be like them, you'll pick up their habits and skills over time. It took me many years to develop the skill I have today. Right now, I have 2 girls I see. And you know what? When you get good at the game, you don't even think about the game as much. It will be natural. And for me sometimes, I even enjoy being alone for a bit, girls are fun but you have to be happy doing your own thing too. That's what makes you attractive to girls is that you send out this message you don't really need them to be happy. I am at that stage.

By the way, the fact you are able to admit you're a wuss with the ladies. You are definitely going be successful if you follow through with this.

 

[Alphathree]

Tomb speaks the truth, too.

EDIT: If you find a master DJ, though, make sure you find a good one.

I know one guy who can get makeouts and groping sessions in clubs with an essentially 100% success rate. The man would never be able to have a relationship with a woman, though, and is an unhappy individual.

He gets more action with random women than I do, but I attract higher quality women than he does. I'm also happier than him.

So just because some technique can get you from point A to point B doesn't mean it's best for you.

 

[hfxchef]

Yeah, the girl I'm currently interested in is amazing, but she's different.. to say the least. She loves hanging out with guys.. she has all guy friends. I know that gives you the wrong image about her, and to me it does at times. As far as I'm concerned, I could be her friend.. but like I said before she's wanted to do x with me (we were supposed to take it tonight, but she was 'called' into work..), and at times I feel as if she really, really flirts with me, but then she just blows me off out of no where. She says she's going to call me, but she dosen't. I think I just need to back off and stop asking her out.

I need more women, that's my problem.

 

[Alphathree]

Originally posted by hfxchef

I need more women, that's my problem.

This is not your problem, but it would make for a great demonstration of a personality featuring an external locus of control.

You might need practice in social situations with more women, but generally you don't need more of them. I'd sugest that you need only one quality one. Yes, you might have to go through many to find her. But you won't accomplish anything if you can't attract all of the ones before her, because when you get to her, you won't attract her either.

I almost hate to say it because it's so cliche, but the problem is not the women or the number of women, it is you.

You are rationalizing. You are analyzing particular social situations and being attached to the outcomes. You are doing a zillion things wrong.

Some post from you saying "oh, actually, this is my problem, I got it now" is not the solution. You're just validating your own stupid opinions.

I'm harsh because I love. Maybe through dumb luck you'll get some girl you like, but this won't solve your problems.

To solve your problems, you have to uproot your life and build it the way you want to. To do that, you have to fix your inner game. To do that, you have to do a lot of thinking, reading, and DOING. You have to actively make changes, then read and think some more, and then actively make more changes.