"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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AIMing a girl

i am me

Master Don Juan
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Hey, I was wondering about AIMing this girl from I school. Long story short, I think any sort of communication would be good (I talk to her, but not as much as I'd like). I just don't want to appear desperate and someone once said that you should never Instant Message a girl [you should let them contact YOU first, if you want to talk online]. Well...I think that's kind of stupid but I follow the advice anyway. Is it okay to talk to this girl online (as in, I start the conversation), as long as we don't talk TOO often on the internet?

Yeah, I might be overanalyzing but I don't want to come off as a desperate dude
 
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"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Asesino

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I think it'd be okay to chat with her thru AIM. But don't do it all the time. At school, talk to her if you got extra time.
 

Void

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AIM...i hate it...but yes i use it too unfortunately to talk to girls i don't have much time to talk to. I really don't think it's a good idea to be on AIM for too long (yet i still do). And just ask her for her screen name IM her then next time she's on let her say hi first.
good luck
 

i am me

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I forgot to mention this, I've actually talked to this girl online before. From listening to you guys, I think it'd be okay to AIM her maybe once a week. Am I right?

Of course, this is only a small detail to think about. I'll talk to her at school as often as possible.
 

LikRetsam

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Im sure you couldn't hold a conversation with somebody about this topic... You know why? Because nobody cares and it doesn't matter!
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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New Direction

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I've found out from experience that AIM should be avoided. Instead of chatting on AIM go have fun so you can have something to talk about next time you see the girl.
 

DJoneday

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In today's society, everyone (at least where i live) is using AIM.

Be truly busy so that you aren't on that often, but when you're sitting around bored, i figure why not?

AIM, when used correctly, can be a great way to reel in that girl you rarely talk to anyways. For people i see daily, i find that it's hard to keep talking about stuff because you know you'll see them soon anyways. I've used AIM to get a couple chicks more interested, and to set up dates etc. It's handy as calling a girl can be weird if she didn't give you her number, wheras over AIM, it's not uncommon for people to "chat" before they know eachother that well.

Don't, however, spend all day waiting for her to get on, IM her the second she appears online, and jump into deep conversation. Keep it upbeat and joke around a lot.
 

xomel

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talking online is so pointless that it doesnt require discussion in the don juan discussion forums and you should just do what ever the hell you feel comfortable with.

youre wondering if theres any rules to talking to girls online.

It's so dumb, that it doesnt deserve or have rules.
 

Fender

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Rules with AIM? Not realli. I WOULD however recommend you not to talk to her the second she comes on but...

FUKC AIM!!!

It's realli bad for you, honestly. It makes you a social nerd because you wont know how to read body language, give out the right body language, deal with awkward moments and all those wonderful things when talking with a REAL person in REAL life. And for the 50 trillionth time on this site... words are only 10 percent. Its the body and the tone that matters!

Its a good first step for the crazily, hyperly, unbelievably shy DJ, but move on to REAL talking after a week or two of AIM-ing.
 

i am me

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For the record, I know AIM isn't anything close to "the real deal." I only use it at night because that's when I'm doing my homework (so I just leave it on). That's what a lot of people at my school do too...and it's not a school of nerds. Snoop Dogg, Nate Dogg, and Warren G went to our school...so did a bunch of other NFL players. That should tell you a little about the outside influence...:D .....not really, actually but I wanted to brag about my school.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Neoblaze

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i have to admit it AIM converstations are different than personal(face-2-face)conversations,for instance,i'm ****y and funny online(you get to think about what to say),but when its up close,i could get nervous, and i hate when that happens,especially with attractive girls( thats when i get nervous as hell),but i gotta remeber to flirt and be c&f,so yea,aim coneversations differ from up close conversations
 
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