Agreeing w Breakup

[CherryBreaker]

I wonder if any of you guys had a girlfriend that bluffed/tested you by saying she's breaking up expecting you to beg to have her back? but instead you agreed with her.

To make a long story short, my girlfriend and I got into an argument over trust and she said that I am no longer her boyfriend. I agreed and she looked shocked at first and now I'm feeling she has regrets about it. I'm fine with it because that's her decision. Based on experience, I know there's nothing I can do to change her mind.

 

[Jus_LikeCandy]

You were supposed to beg and plead and make her feel she was important. you beat her at her own game. Now she will probably come running back to you..

 

[DJDamage]

You did the right thing but you got to look at it from another perspective.

When a woman threatens to break up with you its because she is either not happy with the relationship or want you to grovel at her feet thus reinforcing herself as the dominant one in the relationship.

I like how you agreed in a calm matter and that she was shocked about it. You ended showing her that she was bluffing and that you are the master in the relationship and not the b1tch.

Any woman who is in a happy relationship and is dating a DJ will not even think about muttering those words. She should know that you have no problems" to walk away" if she gives you too much of bullsh1t because you can get good pvssy elsewhere.

Always let the woman know that you have other options and that she should never feel too comfertable with you.

 

[cohen]

Good control. You did the right thing.

 

[Jus_LikeCandy]

Cherry Breaker, what will you do if she comes groveling at your feet?? Take her back??

 

[PRMoon]

I don't like being tested in such manners with girls i'm dating. I shouldn't need to be tested if we have open lines of communication then whatever she wants to know about me and how i'm feeling she can ask for and i'll tell her. If that's not enough and she wants to do some stupid socil test with me that she got out of cozmo then she's not the person I want to be with anyway.

 

[CherryBreaker]

re:

Thank you guys for your responses.

I've gone down the DJ path and will never behave the AFC way again because of the info I got here and elsewhere regarding relationships from a man's point of view.

You see, this girl is beautiful (HB 9) and always had AFC types cross her path until she met me. I was always unpredictable, never kissed her but, never called her 24/7, two or three times a week at most and it was always to meet up, never long convo, and always ****y+funny whenever we go out.

So we got into a little power struggle where I was winning and wasn't doing what she was expecting of all guys she met. So I think she's faking this break up just to see if I'll break but unknowingly to her I won't and never will because when she comes begging for me back, I'll have her at my fingertips. That's my game plan.

I kind of learned that you have to break up with your girl in order to have her under your control, to basically be eating from the palm of your hand. I got this from listening to this CD from payton kane called Seduce and Conquer. This is my first time breaking up with a girl and so I hope it works.

The guy said to break up with her and she'll be shocked but she'll come running right back to ya and that's when you know you have her. If she don't, who cares there's plenty of girls out there. It's all about you and nothing but he says on his CD.

I'll keep you guys updated in the next few weeks to see what she does. If she wants to be back with me, I'll give her that chance but under my rules.

 

[mango]

that is too much game playing if you ask me. Just be a man and step up to the plate. Talking about having her under your control and what not.

Men don't communicate with women and leave them to guess at their feelings. They expect women to wait around for them to figure out what it is they want, then when the woman decides she's had enough and bounces, then they run to this forum to hear some bullsh*t about not taking her back blah, blah, blah.

Truth is, you still have feelings for this girl, and she said that to see if you would be mature enough to say what was wrong. You decided to be immature as well and respond the same way she was responding, when you should have said...well I'm sorry to hear that's how you feel, and that you want the relationship to end, but if that's what you want then I respect you decision. This especially if you know the reason why she said that. And especially if you did something that you know was not right.

 

[DJDamage]

Truth is, you still have feelings for this girl, and she said that to see if you would be mature enough to say what was wrong. You decided to be immature as well and respond the same way she was responding, when you should have said...well I'm sorry to hear that's how you feel, and that you want the relationship to end, but if that's what you want then I respect you decision. This especially if you know the reason why she said that. And especially if you did something that you know was not right..

I disagree with the above statment of how you repharse it. This is how exectly the nice guy accepts defeat. You are applying logic to a relationship as if it was equal partnership and not a struggle for power which this argument was all about (her jealousy was as a result of her losing control) . You either keep Power or lose it.

You agreed to her terms and in essence reinforced everything she believed in dumping you in the first place.

The more you say, the weaker you will seem. Saying something short and letting the silence speak for itself is a more powerful tool. You shouldn't give your woman more ammo after a heated argument to justify her decision. Put your foot down and walk away.

 

[aftershock]

Good move. Accepting defeat (relationship being over) is a good thing.

JUST DON'T GO BACK TO HER! EVER!

Believe me. Forget her.

 

[PRMoon]

Originally posted by mango

Men don't communicate with women and leave them to guess at their feelings. They expect women to wait around for them to figure out what it is they want, then when the woman decides she's had enough and bounces, then they run to this forum to hear some bullsh*t about not taking her back blah, blah, blah.

This is horse sh*t. You're just pissed because the men around you don't communicate. I f*cking PREACH communication on this site to guys and I've seen even more who do it regularly. You've been reading too much Cosmo and haven't sat down with enough actual men to the point where you're a scorned woman whos simply given up. There are just as many women out there who don't communicate their thoughts and ideas in relationships too, but you'll never her me say "women don't communicate with men" because I can't say that about ALL women.

Wow for thirty you really don't have your sh*t together at all.

 

[mango]

I don't have my **** together for thirty? Well buddy, I have had enough experience to know that all the advice given here sometimes about to B.S. First of all, this guy never acknowledges that there was a problem in the relationship to begin with. Here it is, if he was strong in his belief that agreeing that they break up was the best thing, then he would have never come run to this forum to hear what you guys think about it. He would have BELIEVED that he did the right thing.

The fact that he needs people's opinion about it shows that he's not sure he did the right thing. At the core of it all is that they had an argument about trust that was never resolved. Yes she may have been a bit impulsive in saying the relationship is over...we don't know what his stance was on the trust issue...may be he said to her that he doesn't trust her...she says the relationships over...he says...okay fine. So what the heck is he on this board asking what people think? By him saying okay, then that means to her that he doesn't think the relationship is worth it and she means nothing to him.

A mature response would be, I'm sorry you feel that way but if that's what you want then I understand, and I understand that you want it to end because of this disagreement about trust blah, blah, blah.

I didn't have to read cosmo to come to that conclusion.

 

[mango]

And furthermore, he should be a psychic because he thinks that the reason she did that was for him to beg for her to come back.

Again, game playing. What's the f*cking point? He is too full of himself to think oh she wants him to beg for her to come back. If he was no longer interested in her then just say so, and walk away.

 

[CherryBreaker]

re:

Hold on people! I don't want all you guys to get hostile here.

I've changed my ways to become more of a Don Juan but am not totally there yet. The beginning of my question asks if she is bluffing/testing me. I just wanted to know, based on anyone's experience, so that in future dating, I can identify this type of action right away.

I was just hoping to contribute to the DJ community ing understanding women through each of our experiences.

Thank you for all your opinions though.

 

[Lost In Translation]

Quote - CherryBreaker
I've gone down the DJ path and will never behave the AFC way again

once down the dark path you start forever will it control your destiny

you have a long way to go my padi-wan learner

Quote - CherryBreaker
never kissed her but

THAT IS YOUR PROBLEM *throws on darth voice* " you are not a Jedi yet "

Quote - CherryBreaker
never long convo, and always ****y+funny whenever we go out

KINO you should be touching her. Enough stand up comedian, time to show her your light saber

Quote - CherryBreaker
So we got into a little power struggle where I was winning and wasn't doing what she was expecting of all guys she met

you got that right. she expects men to kiss her. she expects a MAN to show he is the real deal by touching her.

Quote - CherryBreaker
So I think she's faking this break up just to see if I'll break

i don't think she is faking it dude LOL. you are not getting sexual with her. she might be thinking you are gay.


Lost In Translation

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