Afraid to close? Any suggestions? I feel like this is one of my main setbacks

[Shivastorm_88]

Every single type of close, I seem to be afraid to do...

When I speak with a girl, flirt with her, get a good vibe, I seem to be afraid to go for her number. I don't really know why, I've done it many times before, I'm usually good at seeing the signs and knowing if she will give it to me or not. Mind you, I don't do a crazy amount of approaches, I usually do it around my regular occupations (school, work, through friends, etc.). A good example I can use:

1) I met this girl in one of my class, she was showing some good IOIs, decent looking girl (HB7.5), she initiated a bit of kino, was responsive to mine, good eye contact, etc. I could clearly have gotten her number, but hesitated too much and never went for it... Now she dropped the class, I did have her email address for the group project, but not her number. I asked her out by email, but yeah, success rate for that IMO is close to nil.

When I'm getting intimate with a girl, I seem to be scared of going kiss close. Again, I've made out with quite a few girls. Nothing groundbreaking, but enough to know I'm a good kisser. However, I seem to always become nervous even if I know the signs are there and I will most likely not get rejected. Most of the time I end up going for it, or giving it a try, but after hesitating for so long that it seems to be awkward.

Two very good examples I can use:

1) Some girl from work who is heavily into me, we were at a bar together, both a bit drunk, it was ****ing obvious she wanted me to kiss her, I eventually did (and got a ******* in a bathroom stall ) but it took me a good 10-15 minutes of needless flirting before I could mind myself to go for it.

2) Using this thread with my oneitis girl (http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=187985) both times I made out with her, it was obvious it could happen. First time she was at my place, we were in the backyard I was giving her a massage for quite a while, and when I decided it was time to go for the kiss, it took me about 10 minutes to convince myself to go for it. Result: I was very nervous and almost shaking. Second time, we were napping together after a hike, and same thing, when I decided it was time I kiss her, it took me about 5-10 minutes, I was very nervous, almost shaking again. However, I knew both time she would be responsive...

 

[The Experience]

It seems like at the point of you realizing that THEY want YOU to do something you get nervous. You're not having any fun. Right when you get the feeling in your gut that you should do something, DO IT. Do it before you get to the point of THEM wanting YOU to initiate.

 

[Diaforetikos]

I look at it like this, if I'm gonna invest all that time into some random girl, I better get something that I WANT out of it. That's MY time I'm spending on her. If she is offering I'm taking it.

Don't waste all that time and ignore your purpose of talking to that girl. You want to kiss, you put in the effort, and she's offering. Are you really gonna be timid about it accepting it? I don't think so.

Remember, don't waste your own time. And take whats yours. You worked for it.

 

[RustyRyann]

You're overthinking it man. Just go for the gold! Every time you get the chance, go for it. You know what helps? Having a song in your head when you're thinking about closing. That way you're not overthinking about talking or how to act in the situation. Have a song that brings your swag out! Work out by J. Cole is the one that bumps in my head. I cant help but smile, then I end up feeling good. If I feel good, I do good. You feel me?

 

[Drdeee]

Remember as a kid ud be afraid to jump into water from up high? But then ud do it and it felt great and ud run up and do it again?

Closing will not kill u. But you could later regred that u didn't go for a kiss and opted for a number.