Advice

[MysticMan]

There is this girl , I have always been interested in. We were quite close and all,always on the phone to each other but as we lived in different countries it was quite diffcult to meet up etc. It just happened that last year we effectively swapped countries. I moved to where she was living and vice versa.

After the move, she hardly responded to my emails, text and calls. We even planned to meet once but she stood me up. I decided to compleltely forget about her and move on. Today about 5months later. I get a message from her on my facebook wall asking "if we 've fallen out or what". Not sure of how to respond to this. Thinking of saying something ****y to see what will happen.Any advice will be greatly appreciated

Mystic

 

[Bible_Belt]

Everyone here will tell you that long-distance relationships are a waste of time. I don't disagree with that advice. It seems pointless to waste time talking to a girl that you cannot possibly have sex with.

fwiw: "if we 've fallen out or what" is chickspeak for "the last guy I was letting fvck me turned out to be a douche, and now I am lonely."

 

[everywomanshero]

Not sure if this is a troll thread, but I agree with the above poster. This is the most pointless of pursuits I hope you ever comtemplate in your DJ quest.

 

[Interceptor]

My advice is forget about this female.
And learn how to not want attention from females who dont value you or your resources.

Learn how to respect yourself, and set up boundaries so that you dont have to worry about this kind of behavior from these types of females.

The ONLY thing I would advise you is to affirm along the lines of "Yeah, I guess we DID have a falling out since you stopped replying to me and stood me up when we were finally going to meet. I had to assume you were not interested in maintaining our relationship, nor certainly progressing further. At least this is the message you put out to me. "
Dont ask for her attention anymore.
And dont give of yourself and resources unless she somehow magiclly does a 180. Seriously, learn from this kind of behavior, and put it on your 'Red Flag' list of deal breakers.

Respect yourself and maintain your honor and dignity.

People who VALUE YOU WILL reply to you. Sure, maybe things might get in the way, but when someone completely IGNORES you, take it as a sign they're not interested in you.
And it's ok, it's on them, not you.

Work on being your most attractive self, and having a good life independent from female companionship.
Really. Trust me.
Even when you're down, try to improve, learn, and grow.
If you can't stand being alone with yourself, then you wil ALWAYS be NEEDY for a female. And never have enough to GIVE, you will ALWAYS TAKE from her. Not good.

Even a great high class woman can only enhance your life, not CREATE it.
SHe can only ADD the little that SHE has to your life, and if you have no life, she will not be able to handle the entire VOID.
Not every guy has the most fantastic lifestyle, so they look externally for things to MAKE them 'happy'. But happiness is an internal state that can be very fleeting sometimes, and only true FULFILLMENT is what will be consistent.
Look for FULFILLMENT and PURPOSE. Not purely EXTERNAL gratifications.
Work on living your dream life. And if a good woman who respects you happens to show up, then welcome her to add her gifts to you, and share yours with her.
You cannot do this when you are an empty shell of a Man.
Think about this.
This is why your number One duty is to live up to your fullest, maximum Potential. I mean, you dont really have a choice. You really dont.
You need to be doing the things you love and enjoy, and THEN you will have the mature, and healthy perspective to deal with boundary/respect issues like this easily, and with Class.


Too many guys who are STARVED for female attention let women treat them like this, and these guys are so hungry for attention from females, they will willingly put aside their dignity and self respect.

Dont be one of them.

 

[dannyegg4575]

Another excellent post by Inceptor.

I hope he doesn't mind me adding...

It is your life, your reality. Any woman that comes into your life is only a bonus and is because you welcome her here. She is NOT, repeat NOT the reason for your existence nor happiness. At most, she is there to enhance your experience. So, if she does come to your life, welcome her, "love her", cherish her.

Remember, she is there to "further" enhance your overall experience. But when the time comes for her to leave, walk her to the door. There's no need to be angry, no need to be upset. In fact, encourage her to grow. Stay true to yourself and your integrity. Make sure she is happy with whatever she chooses in life because she once brought you happiness, no matter how short the time was.

This is DJism my friend.

 

[MysticMan]

Great advice Interceptor and danny and all others who have replied to this message. Thanks ! Much appreciated.

As it was on facebook I didnt want to put any nasty message on a public wall so I just left a ****y message and left it like that.