Advice on Girlfriends Weight

[Fingerling]

Hey guys,

when i got with my gf she was 5ft 3 and weighed about 8.5 stone and was a nice size 8uk, she was very attractive.

i'm naturally slim and have never put on weight but try to stay toned by playing football, running and walking to work. i'm 5ft 11 and 10.5 stone

since about a year ago shes put on weight to about 10.5-11 stone uk size 12-14. her face is stunning and she takes care of her appearance and dresses nice.but her weight is an issue to me. i've lost the desire to sleep with her. shes got a large tummy fat legs and a huge duck arse.

i've pointed this out on a number of occasions and shes says 'i'm happy with the way i am, other men find me attractive' but i dont care what other people think. i care what i think.
when she gets dolled up to go out shes very attractive but when its time for bed its very unattractive with tops too small for her that shes bursting out of.

shes got the same dumpy round body of her mum. shes very unfit, takes offense when i say shes overweight and gets upset and i feel i shouldnt have to mention this to her. shes started taking some exercise classes but she says shes happy how she is.

cant blame someone for being happy for their appearence but its not for me.

basically i need advice, i'm not happy here so do i call it quits and find someone else who turns me on.

i do love her, we have fantastic holidays and get on great. but i'm put off from having sex with her and she knows that, i find myself making excuses to go to bed late so shes asleep or saying i feel sick etc.

cheers

 

[Miko]

i'm not happy here

Why would you wanna stay in a situation that doesn't make you happy?

i do love her, we have fantastic holidays and get on great. but i'm put off from having sex with her and she knows that

If she knows you dont wanna have sex with her and seems fine with that (she is happy with her weight and makes no effort to change that - even if that means not having sex with you) be friends.

 

[SharinganUser]

Buy her a gym membership and work out with her, even if it's volleyball or something just get active with her.

 

[loveshogun]

Get her to work out with you. If she kicks and screams, it's not a life lesson she can learn with you, and you know where that road will lead. It's a touchy, tough situation, but you can't be with someone you're not attracted to.

 

[LoneWolf]

LOL, this was me about two weeks ago. I ditched her... although I wasn't in love or anything. Nice face, straight hair, takes care of herself but she was huge. When we had sex the only way I could do it was by looking at Jessica Alba on my wall. Oh and her legs... wooo, those were huge. I couldn't take it anymore and left her. I am a lot more happy now. I have ten times more fun masturbating!

Here's a thought... does your love for her outweight her... weight? If not, LEAVE!

 

[Kirro]

Females are almost incapable of critical self evaluation, on some level she knows she's become an unattractive porpoise but the fem ego & rationalization hamster have stepped in to spin bullocks to keep her in a state of self delusion. Of course there are exceptions but women are hardly willing to work on themselves, so you must accept her.

& you know what OP....accept her, go ahead, accept that she has put on weight & is comfortable with herself..then make sure she accepts when you find a hotter, slimmer female to romp with. Cheers.

 

[SamTheHobit]

LOL, this was me about two weeks ago. I ditched her... although I wasn't in love or anything. Nice face, straight hair, takes care of herself but she was huge. When we had sex the only way I could do it was by looking at Jessica Alba on my wall. Oh and her legs... wooo, those were huge. I couldn't take it anymore and left her. I am a lot more happy now. I have ten times more fun masturbating!

Here's a thought... does your love for her outweight her... weight? If not, LEAVE!

lmfao!! So many funny posts today.

 

[zekko]

her face is stunning and she takes care of her appearance

If she keeps gaining weight her face will probably get fat. Some heavier women do somehow retain a nice face, but they are the exception. Also, if her mother has a dumpy body, that's probably her future as well unless she's heavily motivated to change.

shes started taking some exercise classes but she says shes happy how she is

This is kind of OT but I was watching this Extreme Couponing show on TV. There was this woman on there who said she started every morning walking seven miles going around the neighborhood collecting coupons from people. This lady was rather hefty. I kept thinking if she was walking seven miles a day you would think she would be thinner than that.
Bottom line, exercising is great, but if you don't have a healthy diet to match it, you're probably not going to lose much weight.

 

[sodbuster]

NEXT... this one is DONE unless you'd like to be a monk/priest celibate type for life.

you can't change your girlfriend, you'll need to change girlfriends

 

[Jeffst1980]

Unfortunately, this is probably a lost cause. You need to decide if this is a dealbreaker for you or not, because it's not going to get any better.

I would say that if the problem is that you're just embarrassed to be dating a chubby girl, then that is something you can work through. However, if you are legitimately turned off by her, then you should dump her and save the both of you a lot of aggravation.

 

[Teflon_Mcgee]

I agree with the consensus of dumping her. If she is not motivated to lose weight, do not think you can make her.

Dump her, otherwise you will end up resenting her while fantasizing about skinnier girls and this will make both of you unhappy.

 

[runner83]

I would say that if the problem is that you're just embarrassed to be dating a chubby girl, then that is something you can work through. However, if you are legitimately turned off by her, then you should dump her and save the both of you a lot of aggravation.

Yes, from what the OP said it appears that he is actually turned off by her, so I think ending it would be best if she won't change and especially if her mum looks like that also.

Be kind to her and just say"I really like you as a person, let's just be friends", get out, and let her find all these other men who supposedly find her attractive.

 

[HolyG]

If she respected you and was attracted to you (or if she felt she had to compete with OTHER women for your affection)

She would be

A) Skinny

or

B) trying to become skinny

That simple

 

[backbreaker]

I used to be soft when it came to that type of situation, but when I was 22 I ballooned for person reasons, I was dealing with some serious depression. got up to 235 at one point. This girl that was "head over heels in love with me", sand I had dated for a year, started going out by her self alot more, stopped having sex with me and then just flat out cheated. of course when I lost the weight about 6-7 months later she came crawling back.

just imagine what she would do to you if that were you, and do just that. If she doesn't love you enough to want to look good for you **** her.

 

[phlong bong]

If she knows you dont wanna have sex with her and seems fine with that (she is happy with her weight and makes no effort to change that - even if that means not having sex with you) be friends.

I thought that at first. But I know that my gf(who is already slim) started Working on making her stomach flat and doing yoga to be more flexible after i got an interest in working out. I am still slim but she started like a week after she found out. So maybe the going with her to gym idea if you want to stay? But I don't like the sound of the so what attitude with UR concern about her appearance.

 

[f283000]

This is what happens when women get comfortable in a relationship. They see in you a nice guy, a good catch, probably no other options, gentlemanly, highly unlikely to cheat on her or talk to other women.

So they stop dressing sexy, stop looking good and let themselves go. In their minds they already got themselves a guy that's going to stick around for a while so why bother staying competitive lookwise against other women? You're probably going nowhere soon or you give her that vibe.

Men that are successful in relationships are those that while enjoying the company of a woman also give her the feeling that he can hit the door and leave them any minute. It keeps women in a mindset to stay competitive in order to keep you.

Unfortunately this lesson is one you learnt too late in this relationship. Move on from this one and keep this in mind for the next relationship you have.