Advice on a Situation

[karlbullock]

A while back I had been talking to this girl who managed to contact me after high-school and tell me she really liked me and we began talking like so. As we did things seem to be going down the right path. We weren't rushing through things trying to force a relationship but we both felt it. After awhile I felt she was playing a game of hard to get but eventually I told her we should just be friends. We never actually went out on a date since we talked for only a short time and she just got out of a relationship,that lasted 3 years, and wanted time to pass before I asked her out. So after I told her we should just be friends about a month passed and I happened to get an unexpected call from her and she came over my house along with her two cousins. I know she had mentioned me to them before but she brought them over to introduce them to me and she lives a ways off from me, but she so happened to be by my house and said she thought about me so she called. When she left she said she would see me later and surprisingly she text me and apologized for playing games and that she felt I wasn't really trying to make her my girlfriend. Then she eventually asked if I was talking to someone else and I replied no. About 1-2 days passed and I contacted her and asked what was her motive and if she was trying to tell me anything(pertaining to having feelings for me again)she said it was nothing and that she just wanted to know somethings but nevermind. I know she's the type who it is hard for her to communicate and really express herself openly. So the next night I told her that I started developing feelings for her slightly and she told me she felt the same way when she saw me but she didn't know. She contacted me a couple days later and I returned the favor but I didn't get a response from her, when I asked what she thought about talking again like we used to.
>
> My question for advice is: Is this girl is still interested? What could have been her whole aim if I had already stopped talking to her and moved on. Is it just that she's immature? Can't communicate? I could use a little insight on this
>

 

[I'm in the Mood]

I'm gonna help you out cause you're new.
They way relationships work are you develop connections and get physical before you start talking about your feelings.

It's tremendously more powerful to escalate your friendship to a relationship by acting instead of "talking about your feelings."

The next step for you would be to kiss her.
This is called a kiss test, and one purpose for it is to solidify whether a girl is interested or not.

So don't talk about your feelings anymore until you actually have something going. Don't ask her if you can kiss her or anything like that. Just lean in and kiss her. It's that simple. If she pulls away once you can try again, but you want to comfort her a bit like saying "don't worry you're doing fine."

If she says no or seems to be completely opposed to it, it's over.
You're not going to throw your self control away over kissing a girl.
But most importantly remember, communication like you've been communicating should only come after you've kissed/fvcked/become bf-gf.

Good luck man, make the most of this opportunity and if it doesn't work out, you'll definitely find another girl who can make you happy.

 

[Igetit!]

First of all...

+1 rep to I'm in the Mood.

Good advice man.

A while back I had been talking to this girl who managed to contact me after high-school and tell me she really liked me and we began talking like so. As we did things seem to be going down the right path. We weren't rushing through things trying to force a relationship but we both felt it. After awhile I felt she was playing a game of hard to get but eventually I told her we should just be friends. We never actually went out on a date since we talked for only a short time and she just got out of a relationship,that lasted 3 years, and wanted time to pass before I asked her out.

Hmm. So you were just minding your own business,and out of nowhere,this girl contacts you,telling you that she likes you.

That's weird.



Her getting in contact with you,that's ok,but her "telling you" she "likes you"?
Something's fishy about that. I don't know what it is,but something's off.


Let's see:So she contacts you telling you she likes you,but she "wanted some time to pass before you asked her out".


I'm starting to smell AW here.


Her behavior makes no sense. Why would she contact you,ALREADY KNOWING that she's not ready to date because she just recently got out of a 3 year relationship?


What,is she trying to put you "on hold" until ready to start dating again?


Seems to me like she's trying to fill the emotional void created by her relationship ending,and she's trying to use YOU to fill that space.


I don't sense any attraction on her part towards you from what you've said,so she just wants to know that some guy finds her attractive...even if she's not interest in that guy.


That'll hold her over until she does meet a guy she likes.

Then she eventually asked if I was talking to someone else and I replied no

This was a mistake here. I applaud your honesty,but you shouldn't have said that. I would have told her that's none of her business. You tried to date her,she started playing games,so you friendzoned her. She had a chance with you,but because of her childishness and game playing,you decided to move on.


Why is it NOW she's all the sudden interested in your dating life?


I'd tell her to get lost. Let her go play games with someone else.

About 1-2 days passed and I contacted her and asked what was her motive and if she was trying to tell me anything(pertaining to having feelings for me again)she said it was nothing and that she just wanted to know somethings but nevermind.

Another mistake here. LoL,you asked her that question as if you really expected to get a clear,rational answer,like she was going to say something that made sense.

Trust me,she GOT WHAT SHE WANTED by the answer you gave.


Women are emotional. She just wanted to "FEEL" like some guy had feelings for her or was focused on her and her ALONE.



When you told her that you weren't seeing anybody else,that made her feel good because at the moment,she knows that as far as women goes,she's the ONLY ONE on your radar screen.


As long as she has some guy desiring her (you),she feels good.

So the next night I told her that I started developing feelings for her slightly

GAME OVER.

This was the HUGEST MISTAKE OF ALL. This one error was 10 times worse than all the others COMBINED.

Women like a challenge.


She may have had a challenge still with all the other things you did,but this one,this one did you in.



You told her you have feelings for her. Haven't had sex or been intimate yet,haven't so much as kissed her,haven't even had a single date yet,but you have feeling for her.



So she hasn't had to do or say anything...and she ALREADY has you won over.


Well...that was that. On to the next girl. :crackup:

My question for advice is: Is this girl is still interested?

Well I'm saying no. She's not interested.

I can tell you EXACTLY what she's going to do. Whenever you call her talking about something between the two of you,you're going to continue getting "I don't knows" from her,answer that just plain make no sense.


If you back off and stop calling her,then she'll start contacting you...but NOT BECAUSE SHE LIKES YOU. She'll contact you because SHE MISSES THE MALE ATTENTION. She just wants to feel wanted by a guy.


Don't deceived yourself into thinking,"Well she called me,so she must like me".


No,she likes the attention.

What could have been her whole aim if I had already stopped talking to her and moved on

Women are EMOTIONAL. Her aim was to "FEEL".


She wants to feel wanted,desired,attractive,pursued by a man. It would have been great if she could have felt these things from a guy she's interested in,but since it wasn't possible at that moment,she got it from a guy she wasn't interest in...YOU.


Even a guy she doesn't like is better than no guy at all. If she couldn't find any sexual value in you,then at least she finds value in knowing that a guy still wants her.


She's like,"Yeah,I still go it".

Has nothing to do with you,it's all EGO.


She just used you as a tool to get the feeling she wanted.


Sucks,huh?