"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Advice needed!

jtb123

Don Juan
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Ok guys theres this HB8.5 that I know likes me and wants to f*ck me but over the past week she hasnt called me or tryed to make any contact. The one time I rang her she couldnt come see a movie with me because she was working...ok legitmate excuse. So I called her up a couple of days later to ask if I could borrow something of hers because I also legitmately wanted to borrow this thing off her. She said come over now but I couldnt because my car wasnt here so she said she'd call me back when she got home from work. She didnt call me back so I just thought meh shes just forgotten to. Okay so its been about 5 days since then and still no word.

We have sort of been friends but still kissing and hooking-up for a couple of months and I was still trying to make up my mind whether or not I wanted to F*ck her (I would but it was sort of complicated). She was giving me heeps of signals and I the last time I saw her (about 1 and a half weeks ago) I could have F*cked her but I didnt, we just ended up dry-rooting.

I was just wonderin' should I call to see whats happening or just leave it as shes rejected the last date (even if it might have been an legitimate excuse, she didnt try to re-organise it) and she didnt call me back?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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jtb123

Don Juan
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Oh and btw I worked out that I now want to bang her and im gonna go for it the next time I see her.
 
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