Advice needed from those who actually get results from OLD/Tinder

[sangheilios]

It has never worked for me at all in the past but I'm trying to figure out what it is all these other men are doing to get dates from dating sites and apps. What types of photos are you using, what are you writing in your descriptions, etc. I honestly just don't get why I have no results, as others have stated on here I shouldn't be having these issues as a guy that is tall and fit.

This is actually a serious post because I feel like I'm spinning my wheels with all this.

 

[Mazer]

I am no longer on OLD but when I was I had a close up photo of my face at dinner smiling and a photo of my face and upper body in a pool. In my description I listed what I did for a living and three hobbies I enjoy. That’s it. I had the most success on Bumble. Tinder was a waste of time and POF women were very unattractive to me. At the end of the day it’s all about the numbers. The more women you contact the better. Keep at it and make sure your photos don’t suck. Haha

 

[Poonani Maker]

You never know what photo will do it for you, but I would also take a canned description that fits you and copy and paste. The latest photo I've snapped has turned a trick I just was feeling strong or "together" after months of good habits/eating and even though my hair was 4 months in with no cut and it was cold with a beannie on and a plaid shirt on, this photo has gotten me opened by other girls usually every other time I log on. Girls will even comment on my older pics where I'm pointing a gun at the camera and say, "Hey, you shouldn't point that gun at me." Of course, she's almost ALWAYS a single Mom, so I don't respond. That's just tough sh!t they are in the predicament they're in, not my problem. A widow? not likely probably like 1 in 50 would be a widow. It could be that females are feeling the crunch of dudes not interested in their games anymore why the past 2 years I've been getting OLD openings and responses. It's a sad state of affairs. Houses ornate, just bought, getting sold and seeing the same stupid artwork in each house knowing what store they bought it from cause I've seen, women will buy anything. I only buy something NO ONE else would THINK to by to put up on my wall. It will mean something special or relative to what I've experienced - favorite fishing lake or some artwork I'd read about in a sci-fi book long forgotten from Salvadore Dali.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Unfortunately what works for one guy won't work for somebody else.

Keep trying different things. Lots of different things. For a long time. You'll slowly figure out what works best for you.

Give it plenty of time, treat it like a long term side project, not a quick way to get lays.

 

[GrowingPains]

I do okay on OLD.

I don't put a lot of effort into it nowadays. Most days I only do like 10-20 swipes. Some nights, like tonight, I do the free 100 on tinder. I don't super like anymore because why give her that validation. If we were gonna match... we'd match without the super like. I get 1-2 numbers a week if I'm on top of things. Very few of them turn into dates but I'm cool. It's OLD.... what do you expect... Sometimes I get 0. And I might start to care but then I realize; I'm not putting enough effort into this to care, and I'd like to keep it that way - so I close the app and get back on my purpose.

I would say I'm a 7. 8 on a good day. And I have a lot of good days. Hahaha I'm killing myself. I'm trying to be objective but obviously I think I'm a motherfvcking 11/10 lmao. 6'1''. Athletic build. Lean. 187 lbs.

My pictures are; a silly but well-dressed shot of me and my brother posing sarcastically from my senior pics photo shoot, one of me laying in bed that clearly shows my face, and me in my graduation regalia posing like a superhero. My bio is nothing special. Says what I do, something that I think is cool and that I'll 'brb making moves'. I tried put as little thought into it as possible. Maybe I'll update it with some pics when summer comes around since I've moved to a beautiful area but OLD is a waste of time anyways. Just approach in person it's more valuable as far as improving your game and a better time investment tbh. You start to lose with OLD, just as you do in person, when you start to care too much.

Don't stress it too much, my G. Just do the swipes and get outta there. You can use photofeeler to determine if your pictures are good, a lil tip I picked up from @Amante Silvestre

But to directly answer your question:

I agree with @LARaiders85 . The guys who are most successful are probably the ones who look good and don't have to say a word. I'd add: Then are the guys who have figured out how to to let their personality shine through and look decent. Then everyone else has a frustrated, inconsistent experience. OLD is the equivalent of 100's of guys lining up in front of her daily and she being able to pick her top 5. Ask yourself... are you top 5 out of 100-200 guys? Put minimal thought into your OLD profile, that's my advice.

 

[sosousage]

It has never worked for me at all in the past but I'm trying to figure out what it is all these other men are doing to get dates from dating sites and apps. What types of photos are you using, what are you writing in your descriptions, etc. I honestly just don't get why I have no results, as others have stated on here I shouldn't be having these issues as a guy that is tall and fit.

This is actually a serious post because I feel like I'm spinning my wheels with all this.

dont use tinder, dating apps are bad and humilating for men

 

[Who Dares Win]

Change country, I only use tinder outside of southern europe.

I have decent results in germany and great ones in poland while no result at all in spain and italy.

The profile is exactly the same, same picture and same bio in english.

 

[lamath]

I just tried OLD/ Tinder for the 1st time this week, seems to have some potential.
Im away for work so i know no one in the small city im in.
Righ swipe about 8 women out of 40 and i got 5 match, 1 msg me right away and im msging a few of them up right now.
My only problem is i suck at taking things to the next level.

So idk if any of those will turn into anything but im sure it got potential.


Imo in small city think it can be good not so sure about big city.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Totally agree, apparently other people had my same experience and made some research about it.

The funny thing is that its easier where girls are hotter and harder where girls are uglier...

 

[Who Dares Win]

It's really that hard in SPA/ITA?

As La said plus there hypergamy is multiplied 10...guys with no girls are shamed so they lower their standard drastically till they get some.

You see males above 7 with girls below 6 when it comes of people in their 20s and teens.

The result is that guys are fighting competition for scraps while girls get comfortable in being fat and annoying then the cycle gets worse and worse time by time.

I saw spanish and italians guys getting the lion share of girls in germany while being unable to get any in their country.

When I have to travel there I dont even go out at night, I focus on getting even with my work so I will have more free time in eastern europe or germany.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

OP needs in-person, real-life dating coaching to get past his issues, not OLD suggestions or advice on the forum. He needs someone (a friend who is successful with women or a reputable hired-coach) to provide in-person style advice, to see and hear him interact with women in real-life, and provide feedback to him on how to improve his game based on their observations, and OP needs to actually listen to and take the advice instead of infinitely repeating his tag line about how his height, body, not drinking, not smoking, education, and career ambitions should entitle him to a GF.

I understand it is frustrating to be in his situation and I genuinely feel for him. I've tried offering plenty of advice to his many posts (as have others), literally zero of which has been implemented. At this point, the questions, complaints, and advice are simply being repeated infinitely without progress, change, or acceptance. It is clear what is needed to make actual progress, if that is what he wants, and he must be willing to take action instead of taking a victim stance and just looking for an outlet to complain or seek sympathy repeatedly.

The cycle is:
OP: I need help
SS: Do X and Y
OP: No. That won't work and I shouldn't have to do that anyway. I am tall, have a good body, don't drink, don't smoke, have a degree, am a good guy, that should be good enough for women.
*Repeat*

OP: It is 100% up to you and you have total control over your success or failure based on the actions you choose to take and the mindset you choose to have. 95% of us were not born successful with women. We didn't get to where we are by complaining, seeking sympathy, and refusing advice or change.

I'm sorry for your struggles and frustration but the choice is yours.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

It has never worked for me at all in the past but I'm trying to figure out what it is all these other men are doing to get dates from dating sites and apps. What types of photos are you using, what are you writing in your descriptions, etc. I honestly just don't get why I have no results, as others have stated on here I shouldn't be having these issues as a guy that is tall and fit.

This is actually a serious post because I feel like I'm spinning my wheels with all this.

AMS details a system he uses for OLD. Its like "fishing". The responses are slow and short to peak interest.

 

[sangheilios]

OP needs in-person, real-life dating coaching to get past his issues, not OLD suggestions or advice on the forum. He needs someone (a friend who is successful with women or a reputable hired-coach) to provide in-person style advice, to see and hear him interact with women in real-life, and provide feedback to him on how to improve his game based on their observations, and OP needs to actually listen to and take the advice instead of infinitely repeating his tag line about how his height, body, not drinking, not smoking, education, and career ambitions should entitle him to a GF.

I understand it is frustrating to be in his situation and I genuinely feel for him. I've tried offering plenty of advice to his many posts (as have others), literally zero of which has been implemented. At this point, the questions, complaints, and advice are simply being repeated infinitely without progress, change, or acceptance. It is clear what is needed to make actual progress, if that is what he wants, and he must be willing to take action instead of taking a victim stance and just looking for an outlet to complain or seek sympathy repeatedly.

The cycle is:
OP: I need help
SS: Do X and Y
OP: No. That won't work and I shouldn't have to do that anyway. I am tall, have a good body, don't drink, don't smoke, have a degree, am a good guy, that should be good enough for women.
*Repeat*

OP: It is 100% up to you and you have total control over your success or failure based on the actions you choose to take and the mindset you choose to have. 95% of us were not born successful with women. We didn't get to where we are by complaining, seeking sympathy, and refusing advice or change.

I'm sorry for your struggles and frustration but the choice is yours.

I actually had a friend who used to be very helpful with this last spring and summer but since the fall I haven't been able to get him to go out with me at all. He just constantly makes excuses as to why he can't go out with me to the point where I've given up.

I have another friend who likes to go out regularly but the problem is that he can be way too forward and aggressive with women to the point where many of them are uncomfortable with it. However, he is an excellent conversationalist and is great at opening groups of women. Last week we were out and a few days later he called me up saying that he got a complaint for supposedly touching a woman inappropriately. I didn't actually see whether or not that happened, and even he said that he wasn't sure, but after hearing that I felt that it might be better for me to cut back on how often I do go out with him and when to avoid getting myself into a situation I could get into trouble.

They don't have dating coaches where I lived, I actually searched for that quite a while ago. You can laugh at me, but quite a while ago I actually made a craigslist ad looking for a "wingman" who could help me out with approaching women, give feedback, etc. I explained my situation on there, what I was looking for and the goals I had. I did in fact get a couple replies to the ad but nothing serious came of it.

Besides that though it's all just been approaching women whenever I have an opportunity to do so but with little success, though each individual situation is different from the last.

 

[logicallefty]

A couple good face shots and a couple good body shots. Plus I always put something humorous in my profile. Pictures are the most important but women do read the profiles if they like your pictures. Don’t be boring.

 

[SoSuave666]

I gave you some advice the other day. Whether you take it is up to you.

1. Get pictures of you with friends doing fun things
2. Stop with the weird feminine looking pictures and mirror selfies
3. Grow a beard. My assumption is you are bald because you have lost your hair, not by choice. Beard will look good.

Your profile should be short. Messages should be to the point.

 

[Robert28]

My online dating game wasn’t that good and I didn’t feel like working at it. I meet girls in the most random places and just strike while the moment is there and that’s worked for me so I haven’t had to perfect my online game. What’s funny is the girls that will click with me in real life probably wouldn’t talk to me had I met them online.lol

 

[guru1000]

Your pics depict a low value guy with no social life. It’s not your looks, rather the lighting and the vibe/value you are projecting.

Fix your pics.

 

[Poonani Maker]

Basically it's Mother Nature calling you to do your bidding and sacrifice yourself for the species.

I'm currently reading a book on Texas, how it started, and in the latest part, it recalls the Karankawa Indians, when the French (La Salle) got up and down the Mississippi in 1681 that they'd slice a strip of you off of yourself and proceed to Eat you while you were tied up (on a post or tree). People don't think in terms of good and evil much anymore (Christianity or morals in general have been stamped out by our current Bizarro World social engineering ongoing in America/the West), and that left uncheck, evil will persist and grow and become not only the norm but ever-progressing topping one-another. Females present/don't even hide, EVIL today more than ever. They are eating you one strip at a time right before your eyes (usually in financial form). You will eventually die or be stamped out. Your d!ck wants to impregnate, I still have the urge in my early 40s. It's understandable, and sure women like to be mounted and fvcked. They can sure ruin you nowadays though. IF there was not an ongoing social engineering by the powers that be and the COURTS were not stacked against males, we would have No issue with their coldness cause unbridled kicking the female out of your house, Physically REMOVING her, would bring no believable repercussions from a judge or police officer. The White knights play a part too. We used to be able to pick up a woman kicking and screaming and throw her out to the curb with all her belongings. This BULLSH!T legal system, all about milking it for all it's worth, is killing us, strip by strip. Evil persists.

 

[ubercat]

I would suggest get yourself into some team sports so you start making some guy friends.

Go on one of the paid sites where the chicks are a bit more serious. Practice your message and phone game and go on dates.

For god sake don't take it seriously just treat it as building your skills.

If you can't be bothered doing that much there is no answer for you.

 

[Murk]

I get matches and dates because I’m handsome and funny. I was in my local pub last night with a couple of the guys and I was swiping and showing them my matches and convos on tinder/bumble like I sometimes do. My friend goes in the saddest voice ever “I never get any matches” I felt sad for him, but he is a bit overweight but mostly facially average, I couldn’t tell him that though.

“Well endowed billionaire, 6’2, I’m kind of a big deal.

I like walks in the park and reading books, only joking, parks are sh1t and I can’t read, but enough about me.”

Have 4 pics, no selfies, socialable, one in a tux, one headshot, one standing in a beer garden with a Guinness, one in the middle on a group looking handsome and suave as fvck with a blazer and pocket square open shirt.