Advice about continuing to pursue or stop?

[tmac15]

Alright so I know this girl because she's a friend of a friend... we all have a similar story. This girl and myself aren't strangers we've talked in the past, exchanged some flirtatious behavior before but it never really amounted to anything past that. So this past weekend. I got some serious IoI's from her (eye contact for longer than usual, playful kisses on the cheek, and dances on the dance floor). The next day she messages me on facebook with a flirty message and i commented back on her page. Two days after I ask her out on a date she say yes. The date was on a Wednesday it went well we went to a dinner and a comedic show. Her body language wasn't bad it wasn't great either. I got some preening of the hair, posture match, laughs at my jokes, and also a little defensive crossed legs and crossed arm position, as well as some wandering eyes at the dinner table. So at the end of the date I ask her if she wanted to go out again over the weekend she says she had some holiday shopping to do and after that she would be up for it. I called her up on Friday no answer and no return phone call until noon the next day. I waited a couple hours to return the call and we made small chit chat about the day and she gave me an excuse of why she didn't pick up something about her mom. I then asked her if she had plans that night she said she was gonna meet up with an old girl friend from high school and I told her if she didn't if she would be up for a hockey game. She hesitated and said her plan were still up in the air leaving the possiblity open and she latered texted me that things werent going well and she couldn't meet up. So I haven't talked to this girl since then, it's been 5 days. I texted her a Merry Christmas on christmas day no response back. I was thinking about asking her out on Sunday? Advice? What should I do next anything, stop, being too needy? Too much wishful thinking on my part?

 

[Igetit!]

Alright so I know this girl because she's a friend of a friend... we all have a similar story. This girl and myself aren't strangers we've talked in the past, exchanged some flirtatious behavior before but it never really amounted to anything past that. So this past weekend. I got some serious IoI's from her (eye contact for longer than usual, playful kisses on the cheek, and dances on the dance floor). The next day she messages me on facebook with a flirty message and i commented back on her page. Two days after I ask her out on a date she say yes.

Ok,everything you did up until this point where she said yes to a date with you was golden. It must have been,I mean you got a straight up "yes" from her.

The date was on a Wednesday it went well we went to a dinner and a comedic show. Her body language wasn't bad it wasn't great either. I got some preening of the hair, posture match, laughs at my jokes, and also a little defensive crossed legs and crossed arm position, as well as some wandering eyes at the dinner table.

Like I said,in the beginning,everything seemed ok. However,her interest seemed to sort of drop a little during the date. It'd help to know what kind of things the two of you talked about on the date. And I mean exactly what the conversation was. The topics,what you asked her,what she asked you,how the two of you responded to each other,etc. I know it's a lot to have to remember,but maybe then we could pinpoint where things got off track. Don't leave anything out. If you think of something that you think may not be important,throw it in anyway.

So at the end of the date I ask her if she wanted to go out again over the weekend she says she had some holiday shopping to do and after that she would be up for it.

Now personally,I wouldn't have done this. I would not have said anything about another date. This way she'd been the one wondering if you had a good time or not,and whether or not you wanted to see her again. This is what I would have done.

I called her up on Friday no answer and no return phone call until noon the next day. I waited a couple hours to return the call and we made small chit chat about the day and she gave me an excuse of why she didn't pick up something about her mom. I then asked her if she had plans that night she said she was gonna meet up with an old girl friend from high school and I told her if she didn't if she would be up for a hockey game. She hesitated and said her plan were still up in the air leaving the possiblity open and she latered texted me that things werent going well and she couldn't meet up.

Yeah,this is classic low interest. I've seen this like 10'000 times here on this forum.

I was thinking about asking her out on Sunday? Advice?

Yeah,I have some advice. Don't do it. Don't asked her out for Sunday. Don't ask her out period. Look,you're interested in this girl,right? Now look at your behavior. You're contacting her because you want to spend time in her presence. Now look at her behavior. Look at her behavior now vs. the way she way she was behaving with you leading up to the point when you asked her out the first time when she said yes. You see a difference? The same flirty behavior of eye contact,playful kisses on the cheek,and flirty messages on facebook you were getting at the beginning,do you see them now? Probably not. I suppose you have no idea what happened,do you? It's too much to get into right now at 3:45 in the morning,but no,don't ask her out for Sunday. I say go a week of no contact. Let her miss you,but during this week don't sit around the house thinking about her. Go out and have fun,spend time with your family and friends. Go enjoy your favorite hobby. In othe words,live your life. Who knows,maybe you'll meet some else in this time. If this girl calls you,start back acting and treating her the way you did in the beginning. This should re-ignite the spark you had with her in the beginning.

 

[tmac15]

On the date when I picked her up she started to talk about her brother and how he recently got a DUI. We both made a few jokes about that. She then asked what I do for living and I asked her the same thing. She was actually surprised of what I did for a living (she thought all I did was party). We talked about christmas and family traditions. We talked about a acquaintance that we both know and where she is at now. I negged her quite a bit and she laughed at pretty much all of them.
During the meal she offered for me to sample some of her wine I decline until the end until she couldnt finish. She offered me some of her food I declined, she did however sample my soup. She pulled that trick where she offered to pay for her meal and I said no I got it don't worry about it. There really wasn't much conversation during the show just pointing and laughing. During the show the beverages i bought, I drank out of hers intentionally to show some comfort with her, and thats when her body language went from defensive crossed to match mine. She also was shaking both her legs nervously and thats when I put my hand on her leg and said, are you ok? No response from her. The car ride home went pretty well again small chit chat, and I negged her pretty well, I said your alright, your not bad at all. That was followed by a response of whatever, tongue and cheek.
Yeah, now that I look back it I shouldn't of asked her out the same night or called two day's after like that. I should waited till mid week next week. She did however accidently leave her winter hat in my car. So how do I get this girl to reinvest? Any hope or should I just move on?

 

[bukowski_merit]

i believe you should have let her pay for the meal or at least her half... she found it extremely nice that you paid for her meal... extremely nice... and your date sounds very "friendly". I defintely try to keep 1st dates live with unspoken sexual vibes.. once you have that first date and fail to extablish that - it's hard to do it on a 2nd or 3rd date, because you might already be in the friend category after one "friendly" date...

just ignore her and see if she contacts you... if she does - you can respond back, but don't react like you've been dieing to hear from her... if she doesn't - then that's that... maybe next time you two run into each other, she'll remember how she felt about you before your date...

 

[horaholic]

The majority rule here, is to generally, avoid dinner dates for first dates. Its too easy to become awkward. Next time, just grab a drink somewhere with a chick, or better yet, set up an action date.

 

[Vikman]

Don't blame yourself. This is not your fault, it happens.

I've been in this situation before. If she doesn't respond to your last message, walk away. There are nice girls out there.