adivce on how not to be a f*ckface

[trav_trav]

take a moment out of your schedual to deal witha total f*ckface would ya?

Long story short: im real succesful with attracting women but am having some problems with my LTR

ive been dating a girl for 3 yrs now. shes 21 im 18 its a long distance relationship until august when ill be joining her.

its been off and on for 3 yrs she dumps me i take her back dumps me i take her back you know the routine

another thing shes what you might call a goody goody. always does the right thing. goes to church. mature.

these typically are not the type of women that want to be with me however for some odd reason it happened.

anyway were getting into one of those phases where were starting to slip again

truth be told its usually my fault im not quite as caring and as qualified for the LTR as she is

ive tried to be overly nice as of recently. but she says its not working and im not loving her how she needs to be loved

i go to see her as often as i can and usually blow up over some smidgen of a detail but can usually smooth things out by using her sexual attraction towards me. its not right but it happens

what i be getting at is that i dont wanna play this in and out game any more. do i need to grow up? if so teach me how

or do i need to play the typical challenge and such cards to raise her intrest level once again?

anything you got

 

[DEKKA]

well regardless of whatever advise the fine DJs here have to give you I have a strange feeling you probably won't listen to it anyway. I think you're gunna do what you're gunna do.

now.

what i see here is a bad situation that you need to get out from under. "she dumps me, i take her back" doesn't make a lick of sense in my book. in real life that doesn't happen, the chick dump the guy cuz she's not attracted to his AFCness and then after they've been apart for a while(supply and demand + desperate + your pressure) = she takes you back. guys that dump chicks don't have problems like this. guys that get dumped by chicks do.

now i feel for ya, i really do, but im afraid this one is more trouble than she's worth. plus, you are lowering your standards by putting up with her after all "shes not exactly your type" ... church girl and all like you said.

don't try to save your pride by saying that you are in control of this cuz you are not. also, long distance relationships don't work, if she meets somebody she likes she won't not see him because of you.

bottom line, you're money and you don't even know it. don't be afraid to go your own way and blaze a fresh trail for yourself. blaze a trail where you're the one in control and you're head isn't spinnin wondering wtf is goin on.

good luck mayne.

-J

 

[trav_trav]

i hear what your saying man. i think about that all the time. it would be great mulitple girls all the time and i think i have the ability.

but...

this heres a good one. i can trust her (thas so so very rare). and she makes me want to be a good person. something fooling around with mulitiple girls wont get ya.

wit that said... what now?

 

[DEKKA]

Originally posted by trav_trav
i hear what your saying man. i think about that all the time. it would be great mulitple girls all the time and i think i have the ability.

but...

this heres a good one. i can trust her (thas so so very rare). and she makes me want to be a good person. something fooling around with mulitiple girls wont get ya.

wit that said... what now?

see here's where you're not being honest with yourself. ok hear me out on this one.

being able to trust somebody is really overrated, and not as rare as you think. she makes you wanna be a good person because she's set herself on a moral plateau and probably sees you as inferior, or at least you think of yourself as inferior and not quite "as goody goody" as she is. this is a bad dynamic first of all because this is giving her the leverage. you're lookin up at her in the sky above while you're down here with the rest of us poor mistake-ridden humans.

understand that being human entitles you to human nature. everyone that i meet shows their human nature with flying colors almost without exception. people are self-centered bastards myself included.

and.

kind of off the topic. but even if you look at religious people you will see people that are looking out for themselves... they wanna make sure they are the ones that end up in the special place. kinda selfish aye? a true objective person wouldn't place so much on something they knew so little about. if a person was truely unselfish they wouldn't care where they went when they died, they'd concentrate on what they knew and the life in front of them and they'd make the best of it.

back to topic.

bleh. anywayz. as far as fooling around with multiple girls i totally agree with you, and if you're like me, this is where you get to really shine as a DJ cuz you're not trying to fvck everything female that moves and b!tches be wondering if you're attracted to them or not. either way...

it is ALWAYS a good idea to have a phonebook with a lot of numbers in it. just because you socialize, have fun with, go out with, and practice on all kinds of chicks doesn't mean you have to fool around with all of them.

be selective, and you'll learn that what you think is special in a woman won't be quite so special once you're out there makin waves.

 

[Julian]

Dude, your whole situation sounds like a big waste of time and energy.

 

[WaterTiger]

I saw something else that concerned me...She's 21 and you're 18...and you've been dating for 3 years.
Does this mean an 18 year old woman was dating a 15 year old guy? That doesn't sound too healthy. Have you dated anyone else but her?

I see a serious "control issue" thing going on here. One thing Dekka forgot to tell you about very religious people, they are controling. I don't know why you are calling yourself a f*ckface, or think that "nice" girls won't be attracted to you, but I bet it has something to do with Miss Perfectly Religious.

Listen to your Uncle Dekka! Go and see what else is out there.