Addict to communicating

[Cry For Love]

Over the last year or so that my self realisation process has taken place, i have come to the conclusion that I have an unusual need to communicate. Whenever Im alone for extended periods of time(a few hours or more) I become uncomfortable, my mood starts to swing and I dont feel motivated to do anything. Even if im spending time on my favourite nonsocial pastimes like playing the guitar or lifting weights, I just cant seem to become happy. It always feels like something is missing when im doing those things. Strangely enough my body language is "closed" too whether im aware of it or not.

In sharp contrast, when I initiate a social situation, start talking to someone or approach a group of people, be it friend or random, I immediately get a strong rush. The world seems beautiful, I become confident and open. All worries seem to drift away. It feels like a high, i suppose a natural dopamine high. And when the ecstasy of communication ends, i become bleak again in a half an hour or a hour.

The thing is, most other people ive observed dont seem to feel like that. My mates dont noticeably cheer up when theyre in a more social situation, their mood seems pretty much all the same when they are talking as it is when they are on their alone. If anything, they become more serious and nervous, the more attention there is directed at them, whereas im the exact opposite.

Id like to hear what you guys feel on this subject. Is it just an expression of the differences between people on the scale of extroverts and introverts, and how do your feelings change in different social situations?

 

[DonGorgon]

Over the last year or so that my self realisation process has taken place, i have come to the conclusion that I have an unusual need to communicate.

That just sounds so funny and sad too cause communication is very much lacking in most cases these days and those who try too hard to initiate it are looked down upon.. eg. "be vague, be secretive and aloof, be distant ..." - are all considered good advice..

 

[Nikar]

From Cry for love:

Over the last year or so that my self realisation process has taken place, i have come to the conclusion that I have an unusual need to communicate. Whenever Im alone for extended periods of time(a few hours or more) I become uncomfortable, my mood starts to swing and I dont feel motivated to do anything. Even if im spending time on my favourite nonsocial pastimes like playing the guitar or lifting weights, I just cant seem to become happy. It always feels like something is missing when im doing those things. Strangely enough my body language is "closed" too whether im aware of it or not.
In sharp contrast, when I initiate a social situation, start talking to someone or approach a group of people, be it friend or random, I immediately get a strong rush. The world seems beautiful, I become confident and open. All worries seem to drift away. It feels like a high, i suppose a natural dopamine high. And when the ecstasy of communication ends, i become bleak again in a half an hour or a hour.

Exactly! This is exactly how I feel! We must be clones of each other!

Seriously, though, I think it's because we're needy, desperate, AFCs and super-lonely, which is why we experience these kinda feelings.

It's the same with me: my mind goes crazy, I start getting upset and depressed when I don't talk to people for more than a few hours, or when I see people talking to people but I'm not in their convo, I get sad.

And when I talk to people (especially chicks) and the convo goes well, I start getting really excited and happy for like 1 day or so. That feeling is insane.....it's like I'm given all the power in the world and I can leap a hundred feet high, un-afraid of anything, can fight 10 lions at one go.....I start feeling like God....
then the negative feeling comes back again after some time.

Again, it's because I'm needy, desperate blah blah blah.

 

[everywomanshero]

One of the biggest fears is public speaking, I think it's considered one of the top 5 usually and sometimes surveys as the top fear! There are so many people afraid of socializing that there's even a disorder named after it: Social Anxiety Disorder! More than once I thought someone was just being aloof only to later find out they had these big fears to talk in public.

"How much credence should we give the diagnosis? Shyness is so common among American children that 42 percent exhibit it. And, according to one major study, the trait increases with age. By the time they reach college, up to 51 percent of men and 43 percent of women describe themselves as shy or introverted. Among graduate students, half of men and 48 percent of women do. Psychiatrists say that at least one in eight of these people needs medical attention"
http://www.iht.com/articles/2007/09/21/news/edlane.php

I disagree that one needs to lurk in the shadows. I actually do the opposite. I talk to all kinds of people and I especially talk in group situations. The difference is I use a very open personality style with lots of humor and minimal negativity. Playful teasing is one way to get people to come out of their shells., but just by being open people realize that it's OK to communicate with me even if they normally as somewhat guarded.

If people think one is needy, it is not that the person needs to quit talking, it's that the person might need to evaluate the content and relational messages/vibe that the talk is sending.

 

[shinko]

I love meeting and chatting to people. girls, dudes whatever. i havent been able to do it much for the past few months because uni and it really took the wind out of my sales. so in that respect im rather extroverted and i definitely get a feel of feeling abit down when i havent gone out in a while.

But saying that if im out with people for more than a couple days in a row, i need at least a whole day to myself afterwards just playing video games or something. Because i ironically i like my company a fair bit too.

What i found really interesting was the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator.
Here's a version of the test here. It's based upon the work of psychiatrist Carl G. Jung.

http://www.kisa.ca/personality/
for a version of the test
http://www.personalitypage.com/portraits.html
for a break down on what it all means. i found it quite interesting and gave me some explanation for my social prefferences