"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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...about Death

englishman

Master Don Juan
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Death sucks, so enjoy it while your here man....when It was my 40th birthday I felt sh1t, no one called, no family and I live on a different continent from them....this gorgeous HB 26 years old that I had been practising dancing with came round with some food she had made for my birthday, I had a crush on her like a 14 year old but we had only been friends....to cut a long story short I ended up banging her on the kitchen floor that day !!! Was the best birthday I've had, since then I've slept with about 40 chicks in the last 4 years, many of them HB 7 to 9.5 and some many years younger. My point is, yep you'll die one day, as we all will, try not to be morbid when you think of that, use it to propel you on when things get tough or uncomfertable, and if you ever find yourself in a situation where you might die, but in a way thats be-fitting to being a man, be thankfull, better that way than pissing your pants in your jammies when your 85.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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englishman

Master Don Juan
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Hi drum and bass, wanted to tell a story about my own 30th birthday, I was In England and me and my mates were a prety wild crowd, we were out drinking and my friends had got me drunk as fvck, after the pub we were going to a party in a friends car, he fired the car up and as it was winter he got out to scrape ice off the window, for some reason I locked his door and jumped in the drivers seat and drove off with my other buddy sat in the back, it didnt seem that bad, the guy whos car we were in was a major car thief who had been on a tv show similar to sp+++ger, so we stole his car and drove it onto the moors.
My buddy thought it was great and said lets go as fast as we can in first gear and you spin the wheel and ill pull the parking brake on, se we did and spun the car round in the middle of the road and smashed into a wall.
May sound strange but we both fell out the car and onto the ground laughing out heads off, was such a rush? anyway we got the car going again and limped back to where the party was. When we got there our other bud, the car owner was mad as fvck (understandably) and whent to punch me, but my buddy jumped over my shoulder and laid him out before he had chance!
I woke up in the morning and had this terrible feeling as I recalled the night before $##% we bought my bud another car (piece of junk like the other one) and were still buds to this day.
Nowadays (14 years later) Im honestly way happier and saner, and fitter, and for that matter way wiser and better with the ladies.....so dont worry about 30 man, just eat well, exercise and stay positive...
all the best..:rockon:
 
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