"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

A Steady Stream or a Quick, Controlled Burst?

T

TheDogg

Don Juan
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Fellow So-Suavers,

My question relates to my scenario---when courting a girl, is it better to maintain a steady stream of hitting or, instead, to go for quick, powerful bursts that leave her wanting more?

My situation is this:

I have been having some wonderful communication with a lovely lady for the past 6 months. She was away on a long trip and we emailed regularly, and just 1 week ago we finally met face-to-face. It was great. It was wonderful. I was on cloud 9, and we kissed a bit that night.
Now, I won't see her for 2 weeks, but in the meantime, we talked on the phone for about 40 minutes last night. Another great convo---it seems like we hit it off well even in person.
But, how should I approach this over the next two weeks? We planned on talking again by phone within the next week. But, I'm wondering---is it good to send a nice text here and there? Or, should I pull-back a bit after we talk like this? I seem to think I should go for shorter, powerful bursts and follow the 2 to 3 day rule (where I wait a couple days before contacting her again).

Anyway, please give me some input on this.

Thanks dudes
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

I

InnerHappiness

Don Juan
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What do you want out of this relationship? I would imagine, by you signing up 10 years ago, your persective may have changed.
 
T

TheDogg

Don Juan
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Amazingly, I've been on here for 10 years. Had a few relationships in between. I'm actually the same age as you. This site (especially the newsletter) is awesome.

Anyway, what am I looking for? I like the girl a lot, and I'd like to see what can become of it. Not looking for just a 1 week fling. Of course, we're at a very early stage, so I don't want to start looking too far into the future.

Plus, I have 2 weeks until i see her in person again, but I'd like to keep this going during that time. How often should I be sending a nice text/message? Isn't it smart not to be too aggressive when I'm not with her in person? I don't want to overload her, telling her how much I like her at every waking hour of the day. Since the time we talked on the phone, I've let one day go without making contact.

Looking for some advice here. Thanks men.
 
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