A Short Note on Responsibility and Realities.

[A-Unit]

Based on the posts/threads and the thought patterns of some guys, old or new, I can see why women respond or act the way they do toward some guys.

I won't highlight "specific" posts, there are those who know and those who don't.

In the words of "Rounders", if you can't spot the sucker in the first 15 min of play, YOU ARE the sucker.

If you can't figure out that your thread, your posts, the stuff you're upset about is YOUR CREATION and the inability to deal with it effectively is your fault, not us, not the girl, then you're the sucker.

I'm sorry but not sorry to say it. You can go from poor reality to immediately new reality by perusing the boards and the offshoot links that are supplied, wake up, grab your balls and ask yourself, WTF is my life meant to be about? Put that in perspective, see how your woman troubles REALLY relate to you being here, your purpose, your job, career, family, etc, and see if it's as BIG a deal as you think.

A guy who is armed with top PUA tactics or DJ tactics, or whatever, is still stupid and AFC if he isn't right. It's like giving a chimp a gun. You can find any short story or allegory on such things. Remember the hero who has motives of revenge, only to be denied higher powers of learning because his intentions and spirit are wrong? Same thing.

Guys who are bitter and pissed at women still haven't realized the problem isn't women. It's you. It's the guy. How's it the guy? Well...when red flags started popping up and alarms went blaring off, what did you do? Did you accept her misbehavior? If you do, shame. A father wouldn't accept the outbursts of his daughter beyond too far an extreme. Why? Because, it sets a precident that she will continute to follow. She will CONSTANTLY push your boundaries, that's expected. What's NOT expected is for a man to fold too much, to be a lap dog, to give in. And too many men do out of fear of being a bad guy, or not giving her what she wants, or false concepts of love, or whatever that boogeyman is they call "it."

I say this because I say this.
Not because I want guys who are failing to suddenly succeed; quite honestly you have to fail in order to know what success is. And not because I want to perfect the world. No I say it because it has to be said.
You can putter on about how women are, and how they're controlled, but bottom line is...YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ACCEPT IT, GIVE ATTENTION TO IT, or PAY ANY MIND TO IT. None, whatsoever. This isn't ignorance or selfishness, it's not giving power to things you choose not to empower.

Far too many guys empower precisely what they don't want by focusing on it, fearing it, or allowing the negative to continute unbridled. I'd rather drop HB10, who leaks Navan from her Nipples, and has the perfect dimensions of Barbie, while topping off her morning coffee with my jizz, than succumb to her less than sane ways and be her puppy dog, hopping at her beck and call. And any guy that WOULD, wouldn't last long. He'd get a taste of what he perceives perfection to be, idolize her, put her on a pedastal, and then forever one-itis the fruitcake, further enabling such poor behavior.

We can't stop all enablers from worsening the negative traits of other's and the universe, but you can stop it yourself by NOT allowing what it is you don't want and recognizing that by contrasting what you WANT versus what you DO NOT WANT. When you know what you want or do not want, check the opposite and make your gameplan. Then you'll have a roadmap.

Who knows, most of the blokes posting could be trolls anyways, and I have no mind to care if they are, or if they're not.




A-Unit

 

[whistler]

http://www.ramtha.com/

The "Fabulous Wealth Retreat" is only $700.


Mind you, postive thinking never hurt anyone...


Though it seems evident you've already accepted what you've been told is on the other side of the rabbit hole.

 

[rocky_mtn]

I wonder how many people post without reading the DJ bible, it actually becomes kinda obvious.

The bible clearly lays out what to do and what not to do. Most of the pathetic threads can be answered by just reading the bible. I saw other suggestions that there should be a test before being allowed to post. It might not be a bad idea, to avert those "I keep calling her and she doesn't call back" threads.

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

To the first poster, I can't discern whether you're suggesting something I'm already aware of, or heckling my knowledge of it? In either case, be more clear and you'll receive a direct response as opposed to vagueries.

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My most, if not fully obvious, is directed at the fact that, even the DJ bible won't awaken the most astute person to the reality they're in. What the DJ bible, or what David D or any guru-type program does is arm a chimp, hand power to someone not understanding of its potential or use. As stated before, you have to crawl before you walk, and failing is a part of success, so I am not ignoring those facts. Nor the possibility that many of the posts MIGHT be trolls.

But, when a large% of the time is spent on basic, piddly shyt, progress isn't being made. Not for the vets, and not for the newbs. If you can't learn to bat, then stealing first base is irrelevant. If you can't control your emotions, and learn the doings of the past are your fault/responsibility, then you can't begin talking about gaming in clubs, or making women squirt, or anything else of a fun nature.

This isn't being negative, but it's being 'attuned' to the fact that people are TOO negative, and are attracting too much negative. Speaking extensively on one girl is a waste, just as dumping tons of emotional energy on one who does not reciprocate your feelings. The premise OF all this attractive crap is...

To find a woman/women who like you AS much or MORE than you like them.

It's like finding prospects that can BUY your product. Sure, there might be thousands of people who WANT bmw's, but few can afford them, so why would you spend time on them, when there's more than enough people who can afford one and might consider BUYING given the right pitch.

If you're spending your time with sluts, no matter who "innocent" she looks, no matter if she has a corporate job, and no matter how her family life is, she'll hop c0ck like a pogostick. You "might" change her, but you can't make a hoe into a housewife. In 99% of the situations anyway. There's always that fantasy of finding a pornstar who wants to settle down. I'm all for that one.

To each his own.



A-Unit

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo,

Great posts A-Unit.


I believe you are correct. Especially what you mentioned about guys not being able to control their emotions. Quite frankly, I see this as MY, and many other guys' GREATEST BATTLE in this "war" between the sexes.

I'm finding that the more successful I am at controlling how I "feel" about stuff the MORE FREE I become.

Consider this:

When a guy let's himself be blown this way and that way by the winds of his emotions, his mind is NOT his own. He, in fact, is the slave of whoever can cause his winds to blow (see----STIR HIS EMOTIONS).

This is why I believe it would behoove ALL OF US to free ourselves from emotional slavery. Because once free, our better judgement will cause our behavior to become better as well.






Peace...one day.

 

[whistler]

To the first poster, I can't discern whether you're suggesting something I'm already aware of, or heckling my knowledge of it? In either case, be more clear and you'll receive a direct response as opposed to vagueries.
A-Unit

Sorry. With all due respect, you're spot on. I meant both.

You're on the money about owning up and bearing full responsilibility.

What I'm suggesting, though, is that this seems to be coming from the "what the bleep do we know?" theme of many of your recent posts.

If you believe strongly that your beliefs will straight up determine your reality, I'd ask you to think twice before putting all your gold on that boat.

Sure, it absolutely helps. But I'd argue that your beliefs and thoughts (a) have no real power over anything but the physical movements of your own body, and (b) if you want to steer your life, a much better approach is an analytical one that includes everything that will effect how your life might develop.

Point? It's your actions, not your beliefs that actually matter.

Again, props for the bit on responsibility.

 

[grinder]

Damn, A-Unit, most of those you are speaking about actually will not comprehend what you are saying. I may be a total newbie to the board but when I look in the mirror I see (many of) my faults and, thanks to this site, I see where I fvcked up (mostly).

I have not had to post a single whining, "I call her and she does'nt call me back" message because the answers (suggestions, actually) are already here. Many of us know the answers are with US, not THEM.

Pook and fingers in the bible, they dig pretty goddamn deep. We gotta worship somthing other than that other species. They help me with WAY more than JUST dealing with women.

Oh, almost forgot: my point: The site, the posts and posters, the bible, and djbasic training, is HUGE. On the whole most of (and I have my rose-colored glasses on most of the time) what I see is good, positive stuff here, I just ignor the bad. Kinda like other stuff aint it?

Yep, I'm new and I may disappear as a short-time poster, but ONLY because this site did help me and I don't need it anymore.

A great post, but shoots way over the heads of those its about.

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

True, i do forget that the average age on the bell curve is more toward 20 and less, than 25 and over. That's my fault. Still, the news still stands true, as a wake up call.

------------------

As far as beliefs and thoughts, whistler, I'll respectively disagree. And leave it there.

What the bleep do we know is but one component. Anyone with a "stacked" library will see that most success speakers used many of the same sources and branched off. You could find the same teachings in As A Man Thinketh, or The Stellar Man, and many other topics. It's that I attract, or find interest in those topics, in as much as they're attracted to me. However, David D alluded to the same in using "Mind Lines" and Ericksonian Hypnosis on himself in his original series.

He would go to the local Starbucks and run the gauntlet on himself using mindlines to unwind his wrong thought patterns. When you do that, you really ask yourself, WHAT THE BLEEP HAVE I BEEN THINKING. I do advocate the book. It is technical, however, when you find yourself in those situations, with co-workers, employees, family, lovers, friends, and they have all this wiring, in gives you the Matrix-tools to unwind what it is that's going on upstairs. Again, it's not necessary for success, but it is value to me.


A-Unit

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

I have very little respect for Ross Jefferies, but the one thing he is quoted as saying in The Game is "giving PUA skills to the unprepared is like giving children dynamite." This and handing a chimp a gun are something I fully agree with. Yet, a gun is the first thing that the chimp asks for, and dynamite looks like it would solve a whole world of problems to a kid. The uneducated (I was going to use AFC) want the keys to the car, but have no idea how to drive once they're in it.

The easiest illustration is the guy who starts Bootcamp without reading the bible. He wants to know the shortest distance between point A and B, so rather than bother with all of that "esoteric sh!t" in the bible, he'll adopt this new personae wholesale and train himself to ape the behaviors and techniques that have worked for others. It's not until he finally gets his 'dream girl' that he realizes (and some times doesn't) he's in over his head. He reverts to AFC mode in the LTR he should never have been striving for in the firstplace, gets bitter with women and then the cycle perpetuates. Then of course the barage of DJ questions ensues: "how do you know she's into you?", "what does this email/text mean?", "what do I do about her ex?", etc. This of course is annoying to the people who have read the bible and our standard response is 'go read the bible', but the message needs to be different. We're not contending with ignorance so much as impatience in this respect. Their Jedi training is incomplete.

I notice this a lot in guys that get fed up with POOK, Anti-Dump, and some of the DJ sages. Their posts are crafted in such a way that you have to think critically about what their message is. They want the immediate fix to their situation - which is usually a lack of sexual success - and to these young men (and some old) it's philosophy and mental masturbation. They want fast food, easily understandable sound bites of information they can use 3 minutes after reading it, but the problem is that becoming a DJ (see Man) is a process that works from the inside out, not the outside in. Legendary PUAs (Mystery, etc.) are often tragic characters because they also tend to be the most succeptable to reverting back to AFC/ONEitis mentalities in an LTR. They made herculean changes to their behaviors, but never cure their disease. They changed the outside, but not their mental schemas.

 

[Visceral]

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. This is my problem; it is the problem with all self-help, not just this site, and what every lack of progress - no matter what the goal is - boils down to.

When a man is told exactly what he must do to change, but does nothing, the assumption is that he doesn't want things to change, in which case, the relevant question is "Why?"

I wonder how much of the bad attitude about women is based on fact and how much is just excuses not to do anything. Optimism is hard, because it always seems to be predicated on a denial of realtiy ... but acceptance of reality always seems to lead to fatalism, apathy, and paralysis.

You've been told all your life that masculinity is wrong, but even when you do not fear and hate it and want to embrace it, you only know masculinity as an abstract theory or an outrageous stereotype. Neither of these is helpful.

Is masculinity a situation where if you have to ask, you'll never know? Are we doomed by our shoddy upringings and/or being dealt a weak genetic hand? Are these what make so many men unwilling or unable to make something of themselves?

Does the path to manhood go through biology or philosophy? Are men blank slates as the thinkers of the Enlightenment believed, and must be taught how to be men - conditioned into masculinity - or, like Pook says, is masculinity something hardwired into us, something buried by socialization that we reveal by letting go of everything we know and following our instincts? Is it both? You cannot build even the humblest building on weak soil; you must either strip it away and make firmer ground ... or drive piles deep down to bedrock and build your building on those.

Is it done all at once - a quantum leap - or is it more like those word puzzles where you change one word into another, but by changing only one letter at a time, and each intermediate step must be a real word?

Which must come first? Which must give way first? Thought or action? An avalanche can be started by disturbing a single pebble ... each man's task seems to be to find the thing that will turn change from cultivating individual habits into a self-sustaining chain reaction that blasts the old away.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...A guy who is armed with top PUA tactics or DJ tactics, or whatever, is still stupid and AFC if he isn't right. It's like giving a chimp a gun. You can find any short story or allegory on such things. Remember the hero who has motives of revenge, only to be denied higher powers of learning because his intentions and spirit are wrong? Same thing. ...

Aspiring DJs should read this entire post a couple of times but this one part says volumes.

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

I've struggled with Self-Help/Improvement phenomena in the regard that, many of the books and programs are "momentarily" stimulating, but nothing more than mental masturbation IF you don't break it down into SMALL bites and do them regularly.

You might see the massive goal of being rich in real estate, as outlined by STR8UP. And you can buy the books, and the programs, but they're good for the MOMENT. Eventually, the ego has had it's BITE of fun, positive emotions and moves on to another emotion. It's fleeting. It's ephemeral. Of course, you still want to be well-off, maybe even rich, but that huge alligator in front of you appears to be a mountain. Well, guess what? To climb any mountain you can't do instantly unless you're Superman, and if you were, you'd need no sense of improvement or will-power, so let's chuck out fantasy right now.

No, you grasp rock by rock, bit by bit. When you paint what it is you want in life before, notice the steps it MIGHT take to get there. What would it take? For each it will be different, and what works for one, might work differently for another. That however does not mean both can't succeed. They are not mutually exclusive, as some might have you believe.

And if you're not passionate about LIFE, then go get some BASIC books, like Jim Rohn, or Tony Robbins, or whatever, or instead, stay that way and write horror movies and join punk rock bands. I have friends, like that, too. College graduate types working at Supermarkets, but they lack the COOLNESS of having an actual band that MIGHT make it big. Instead, they wallow in self pity, repeat the same mistakes that push away money from them, or women, refuse to take any risks, though they're young, and still wonder why, when 10of his/her friends can see the answers before them. As objective observers to other people's lives, we're great, but as users of our own, we're terrible.

********************

I've been a slow mover at some things, and quick at others. I jumped into Muay Thai, and didn't really enjoy it. I had no purpose for the training, and kicking my own arse wasn't motivational enough each week to go. That, and there wasn't anything deeper, IMO, to keep me interested, so I stopped. I have an interest in Aikido, and might join. I've said that for awhile now. What stops me? Just joining the darn gym and taking the time out of my week to actually go, rather than go golfing or some other time consuming activity.

In the heat of moments, when you're sarging, or lifting, or in sales, you can't have thousands of tactical, mechanical thoughts and expect to succeed. In golf, as it applies, you mentally shut down. You can't remember how to make a proper shot under pressure and you fail, just as all the golfers did Sunday in the US open when they forget PAR could have won it and that they don't have to take driver to win, when they could go to a sudden play off and win. Guys forget they don't have to get a girl to fawk them the minute they meet her, they only need to land a date, get a phone number, and even then, there's FAR too many variables. Preparation certainly helps cut down on FLAKE OUTS in any endeavor, but you can't hit near perfection. Just look at car manufacture, when the Japanese improved engineering to NEAR perfection, not PRECISE perfection. They still had mis-manufactures of some 1-3%, which is remarkable. That isn't realistic when there's far more human element involved. So then we move a few steps back to philosophy...

In philosophy, you can cling to one or two thoughts. If it's meeting women or going the club, "just have fun, experience the moment, and leave nothing on the table, go all in." If it's golf, then it's "swing slow and smooth, remember the practice at the driving range." If it's sales, "put the focus on solving a customer's problem, and providing the solution, or improving their existing situation, but make sure you focus on the customer and ask questions, rather than spout meaningless facts."

That along can right your mindset back to the center. It's like a safe word. In hypnosis, it's a trigger word. Some eprograms I'd read actually tried to imbue the reader with trigger words, so if you needed a boost, you could say it and feel it. It's possible, but it takes time, and using NLP + hypnosis.

*****************

In a round about, long way...if you truly want something and the mountain is huge, take a few bites. Get the information read. Read a book. Join a club. Each to YOU is monumental, but the in spectrum of history in total, it's infintesimal, and come the end, the universe won't care how you lived, nor will anybody else BUT you, so might as well make it something worth to be proud of, don't ya think?




A-Unit