A question for the experienced/masters. Involving Ego.

[jophil28]

But again, being dominant is just another DHV per my post above. Perhaps we all have different styles that work for us. That one has always been my bread and butter.

Very good point. We all need to develop those styles which work for us.
And we do it by experiment.

Example... Remember those old James Bond movies with Roger Moore where he usually wore a tux and waved his 9mm at the bad guys? Can you imagine the visual image of him showing up instead in a shintight Kiss Tee shirt and a sweaty head band ?

 

[Poonani Maker]

The funny thing about this was, I was totally crazy for one chic and as a result it made me indifferent to the rest.

The result? I had an army of girls interested in me except the one I really wanted.

This is why, I think, that you should have a oneitis or "perfect woman (for YOU!)" tucked away in your mind to compare to the women that you see on a regular basis, like tonight, I'm going out, the weather's great, I'm great, I haven't be out in a LONG long time, I expect to drink a little, and let the chips fall where they may. I'm tired as hell from hard work all week, but I'm going anyway. Wish me luck.

 

[zekko]

I am probably a 7 or an 8 as far as looks, but I was VERY dominant in the circle that I am talking about (around 80 people) and perhaps that had a lot to do with it.

Yeah, if you believe the "alpha man" theories, the fact that you were that dominant is the likely reason you were attracting that much interest, not because of indifference. Honestly, if I were a friend of yours and you were getting all the interest I would think it was BS too.

I am naturally an introvert so I don't like to run with that large of a crowd. I just can't stand being around that many people, I need my down time. I imagine it would be very difficult to dominate that large of a group unless you were an extrovert, unless you were some sort of mastermind.

 

[zekko]

As far as the "alpha" theories, your suggestion that my dominance did create the attraction is a belief in said alpha theories, it sounds like maybe you don't believe them?

The dominance certainly attracted them, but again, that's a DHV, the indifference only magnifies the attraction.

I can agree with that. I don't think that indifference CREATES attraction, but if it's already there it can magnify it (as you say). Frustration, the challenge, wanting what you can't have, etc.

I do believe the basic alpha principle. Women will tend to be attracted to the most dominant, or most high value male. Problem is, things get complicated when it comes to humans. Men will be alpha in some things but not others, depending on the setting or situation. In modern society the alpha role is often spread out among several males.
One guy may be the boss and wield the most actual power, another guy may be the most social and dominate the conversations, another guy may be the strongest or most athletic, another guy may be the best looking, etc. You don't find the whole package wrapped up all in one very often, so there are chances for everybody.

I'm curious as to what specifically you think your friends were doing wrong, and maybe some of what you were doing right, some of your basic philosophy. For example, do you kino all the girls whether you are attracted to them or not? Use negs, etc? There are a lot of different approaches to take with seduction, I'm wondering what specific techniques work for you.

 

[zekko]

Great point, there are chances for everybody.....and given certain situations, everyone can be an alpha. What made me an alpha in the environment we are speaking of is that I was a supervisor and I had extreme confidence in how to get things done. Applying this to future scenarios, it would be best to expand your abilities as much as possible, become alpha in the areas where you truly can be that way. Then draw the girls into your alpha world.

At the time, I never used kino with the girls I didn't like, but I probably negged without even realizing it. My philosophy was that I am the $hit, I know what I'm doing, now do it and I don't want to hear any crap. Now I wasn't like that always, usually I was a fun guy, I only became an @ss when I had to put down insurrections

This is kind of funny, because your story reminds me of something. Ever meet any gay alphas? I've known a few. They were both very preoccupied with gaining and wielding power, and were very engaged in networking and manipulating. They very much dominated thier social circles. The amusing thing is they of course had women who were attracted to them for thier dominance, even though it didn't do them any good.