Why do you stop focusing on your own interests and self-improvement when you meet a woman? She'll be gone soon enough, and you'll have to keep starting over again. Women should be dessert, not the main course.
Always put yourself first - with women, friends, at work, etc. If you don't no-one will. Read the books 'No More Mr. Nice Guy' and 'The Way Of The Superior Man': they might be a help. The red-pill mentality and game can improve every area of our lives.
I'm like this because I do feel happiness when I feel loved by a woman, when she holds me close, or wants me. I've focused the last decade on self improvement physically, financially, career etc primarily to attract hotter women. I do enjoy those activities as well but the primary underlying goal during those times was to get a woman, or to find someone to settle down with and have kids one day. I've been aware of game for 5 years but only used it as a tool to help find that woman. Unfortunately I was extremely successful in attracting my ideal kind of girl, and a virgin to boot, about 3 years ago. I take responsibility for the fact that I slacked off, lost the edge that attracted her in the first place, and assumed since she was a virgin and was so into me that she'd never leave me. I take responsibility for the fact that it was my own fault for wasting my time turning her from a 6 to an 8 that she found a better guy.
I've learned a valuable lesson from my last breakup, that I cannot slack off. I must continually pursue my own self interests, develop a means to provide self happiness, and let a woman/women join me on the quest of my happiness, not be the source of that happiness.
