A New Approach to Cold Approachs?

[skinnydart]

Cold approaches are the thing I've always had trouble with. The only people I have ever asked out are those who I've known for a while, and even then I usually get turned down.

So I was thinking, instead letting myself down from the cliff ledge slowly, wouldn't it be easier just to get a running start and jump off?

I hate those tacky pickup lines. Even the "Hi, I'm skinnydart, who are you" never comes across right and sounds kinda cheesy. So my question is this, is the opening line (after a tap on the shoulder or something) "hey, quick question, so do you want to go out and get some dinner together sometime?" complete suicide?

This would be done on a college campus, where they wouldn't be totally be frieked out.

I don't know, but for me, walking up to someone and saying that would be many times easier than beating around with accidental/on-purpose bumping into her, lines, "do you have the time", and other stuff like that.

I mean, it'll hurt less if you get rejected too, unlike the girl that you've been working on asking out for the last year now, who when you finally ask, comes up with some lame exuse, or LJBF stuff.

What do you guys think?

 

[huge_guy_pimpin]

Originally posted by skinnydart
Cold approaches are the thing I've always had trouble with. The only people I have ever asked out are those who I've known for a while, and even then I usually get turned down.

So I was thinking, instead letting myself down from the cliff ledge slowly, wouldn't it be easier just to get a running start and jump off?

I hate those tacky pickup lines. Even the "Hi, I'm skinnydart, who are you" never comes across right and sounds kinda cheesy. So my question is this, is the opening line (after a tap on the shoulder or something) "hey, quick question, so do you want to go out and get some dinner together sometime?" complete suicide?

This would be done on a college campus, where they wouldn't be totally be frieked out.

I don't know, but for me, walking up to someone and saying that would be many times easier than beating around with accidental/on-purpose bumping into her, lines, "do you have the time", and other stuff like that.

I mean, it'll hurt less if you get rejected too, unlike the girl that you've been working on asking out for the last year now, who when you finally ask, comes up with some lame exuse, or LJBF stuff.

What do you guys think?

are all your threads serious or do u just come up with the most dumb, no clue about women, no experience **** u can think of ?

 

[Chilli_pimp]

let me clarify... you wanna go up to a stranger and say, "hey you wanna go out and have dinner sometime?"

if thats the case, why don't u just wear a sign sayin, "chump looking for a date"

u gotta be smoove about it son, think of a better approach... thers alot of approaches on this site as well

 

[xiola]

ya, cold approaches are a toughy for me too.

b

 

[coldcoal]

I can think of a few instances when I was in college where that might have actually worked. Although the situations I am thinking of were situations where we noticed each other several times but never spoke. My face was familiar to them. Of course there was already eye contact and little stuff like that.

Trying this cold on a woman you've never seen before will come off as too bold and strange.

If you can soften it up with familiarity, it might work.

I've actually taken women out on a date the same night I've met them and skipped all of the phone BS. I don't see why you couldn't pull that off if you set it up right.

 

[JT47319]

Because then you're forcing her to make an evaluation of you based ONLY, or at least PRIMARILY, on LOOKS alone. So if you're not REALLY good looking (8.5+), then your probability of success is low (assuming that you're gaming a girl that's hot).

The key to cold approaches is to employ verbal game so that looks complement it. In this manner, she has more to go on and can like both your looks and your personality (ie Game).

Originally posted by skinnydart
I hate those tacky pickup lines. Even the "Hi, I'm skinnydart, who are you" never comes across right and sounds kinda cheesy.

What? Don't you think you can't start up a regular, friendly, normal conversation?That's just your own insecurity speaking. You're trying to start a normal conversation and then elevating it to a sensual, sexual attraction phase (indirect method).

 

[coldcoal]

I can't dissagree with that. But my thoughts were, and as I said if it's set up properly, that actions have a way of communicating complimenting points in a way. I think there is an opportunity to develop the idea where judgements can be made based on interpretations and not just looks. It's a nasty habit all people have. It can be manipulated.

 

[AlwaysExcel]

Hey Skinnydart, you should try your idea as an exercise in going outside your comfort zone. What I mean is that your idea WILL FAIL. So go out and purposely fail until you aren't afraid of failing anymore. If you go out to try this as a way to practice cold approaches, you'll probably just get more freaked out about them because of all of the weird looks you're gonna get. So use the opener to get over the fear of weird looks, NOT as a way to pick up chicks.

One time, I was so frustrated with being a pvssy, I went up to a hot girl and flat asked her if she was single just to get over the anxiety over failing. It feels really good! In fact, I might start consistently doing this to warm up before I sarge. I still get freaked about cold approaches!

 

[JT47319]

Originally posted by coldcoal
I can't dissagree with that. But my thoughts were, and as I said if it's set up properly, that actions have a way of communicating complimenting points in a way. I think there is an opportunity to develop the idea where judgements can be made based on interpretations and not just looks. It's a nasty habit all people have. It can be manipulated.

All right, now you're describing something along the lines of DIRECT Method.

Basically you're approaching the woman and telling her upfront that you're interested in her.

The key to this approach is basically subcommunicating high value in the way you dress, look, eye contact, and body language. A common direct approach might be to go up to a hottie, grab her hands, and say, "You look beautiful... I'd like to get to know you." [credit Shark]

The boldness of the approach and if you're conveying value & sexuality, will give you a few extra points. But you're still going to have to create and maintain a conversation. The nice thing about Direct is that you cut through the initial bullsh it and go straight to sensuality.

But based on your initial post, I don't know if you have the proper basics of Game yet to make your initial direct approaches successful. But practice makes perfect.

 

[Interpol]

This is the same thing as a car salesman who simply asks everyone who walks onto the lot "Hey, wanna buy this car?"

You might get more dates than you do know simply by approaching massive amounts of women, but your success rate will be nowhere near what it could be with quality, fully-developed approaches.

 

[diplomatic_lie]

In my opinion straight-out things like "Hey let's go out for drinks this Saturday" works, but the chances are way lower.

I've done 40 of this during one day, and only had 4 yeses, and 3 actually turned up.

This isnt to say it doesnt work, but I'm more likely to believe your looks does have a stronger impact.

 

[skinnydart]

Although the situations I am thinking of were situations where we noticed each other several times but never spoke. My face was familiar to them.

Yeah, that's kinda what I was thinking, after we've noticed eachother, but not formally met yet. Seeing that I work on campus I end up meeting most of the students so most people would regognize me although we might not have formally met.

Hey Skinnydart, you should try your idea as an exercise in going outside your comfort zone.

I've done 40 of this during one day

I'm not saying this is the solution to cold approaches, but for someone who always finds it awkward to use cheesy lines, I thought it may be a way to get past that.

Plus, walking up to a hb, interupting what she may be doing/who she may be talking to at the time just to start a "normal" (hi, I'm ___, blah, blah) coversation never comes out right, maybe I'm just not doing it right. But at least with what I suggested, the boldness of the content goes along with the manner of approach.

For example for me, walking up that hb as she's walking out of class with one of her friends and tapping her on the shoulder, only to say "hi, I'm skinnydart" when she turns around sounds cheesy.

 

[FlawlessBadBoy]

Yah, I agree. Tapping a girl o nthe shoulder and saying ur name is EXTREMELY lame. If you can't fins something to say to her to open her with, hwo the **** are you ever gonna talk to her enough to **** her? Think about that before you even talk to anymore girls, cuz otherwise you're gonna look like the biggest tool i nthe tool box.

 

[seize_the_pattern]

Ive done like 4 approaches, and I knew they were all lame. Thing is Just DOING the approaches was the first jump, regardless of what came out of my mouth. Its about learning how to approach in the first place. Im not over the fear yet and i shifted my focus on my studies for a bit until my exams are finished.

The more I dont think about my approach and the more Im ok with having the "Im an AFC sign" on my forehead, the more likely I am to approach IN THE FIRST PLACE!

My goal is now to change my lines after the 20th approach or something. Whenever I feel that Ive don too much of the same (and I can assure you I hate things being the same for too long)