hey listen up there was this girl about 4 years ago that I met through a job at an amusement park. i go head over heels for this girl I was 18 at the time...so crazy that i spent days drawing little pictures of her name. my parents were divorced at the time which caused a lot of problems which had me trying to look for my own apartment. I end up sleeping on the streets for a while, I remember looking for an apartment around her general area in hopes to be closer to her. I wasn't even good friends with her or anything but it was my desire for her that drove me to do this.
i ended up moving back with my mother who moved out about 30 minutes away. Doing this I hoped to see her again and I actually did one last time through chance. We hugged and then we went our seperate ways. I ended up living in my moms town for about a year and a half. Problems with my parents rose again and I was forced to live on the streets again. Being caught sleeping in abandoned apartments I got arrested. There my family intervened and sent me off to china for the rest of those 2 and a half years.
I'm studying in china living a pretty normal and healthy life, studying chinese and business administration. but at the end of my stay in china, I start having these crazy spurts of visions and "voices" in my mind. In my mind, I start having these scenarios of my sister in another realm. this was so strange to me talking to my sister in my head but she introduces me to that girl of my obsession. they both begin to lecture. they said i could succeed because i had a lot of hope. i couldn't get the meaning of them telling me this.
this is where it gets extremely psycho...that night I'm laying in my bed, and my heart suddenly stops beating. i was still in conversation with my supposed sister. Note that these were not voices in my head but they were like thoughts manifested as words through my tongue. anyway, it went like this: i had to hope to get my heart to fill up with blood. while it was doing this everything else "seemed" to have lost blood flow. One particular problem that suddenly arose was the fact that my genitals were contracting tremendously. I looked down and saw for a fact that my penis shrunk to a size of a peanut (it looked like a small prune)..and it was hardening to a point where i felt like if you touched it it would fall and crust off. I was getting so frightened i started talking to these tongues and they just told me to hope. I did...but I was so in unbelief of this so called 'reality' that I told my roommates to call the ambulance.
one of them looked up at me and fell asleep. He didn't care. But the other person in the room is from myranmar who I was also communicating to through these spiritual tongues. He was actually guiding me through the whole situation. He said through the tongues "are you sure?" ... he was trying to keep everything discreet it seemed. i kept crying out in pain "call the ambulance call the ambulance". i couldn't say it in chinese so i tried to make it out with the little language that I had. minutes later he gave me the phone. there were numbers already dialed on it and he just told me to listen to the person.
when he handed over the phone, it was that voice of the ****ing girl. it was damn close to her voice from what i remembered of it 4 years ago.... there were actual sirens in the backround. then she started whispering "hope for your balls... hope for your balls" I did start hoping for my balls because hope is an emotion that you create, and there was some blood flow that started coming back and i could feel it livening up again. then she started saying softly again "hope for your penis, hope for your penis" and there it started again. I couldnt believe it was actually the girl (at least it sounded like it) i told her while doing it..."this is soooooo hot"..because you don't know what it's like having a woman on the phone saving your balls and penis on the other line it was ****ing sexy. it was also extremely painful like i was getting kind of wary my body was trembling of all this work but she suddenly hung up on the phone on me rather rudely i should say. and i was left in my underpants sitting cross legged on the floor yelling "my balls have hope, my balls have hope"
get this, i keep communicating with this realm and i get this idea that she is a nurse sitting with my sister at the hospital. i got sent to the hospital therin that period and the doctors gave me this one pill for my heartbeat. i actually end up taking this girl on dates in my mind it sounds totally ****ing crazy but that's what i did, i took her out on a date of the chinese city and it looked like i was talking to myself but i was so emotional i didn't even care. it was quite a beautiful date i might add actually i took her to the hotel lobby, sat down on the chairs, and told her it was the place I liked to dream of big things. i took her to the club even too. it was a repeat of the time i took "my sister", days before, out with me except this time the club hadn't even opened yet, the lights were still on and they were still setting things up so i couldn't get girls numbers.
i got a phone call from my uncle saying that someone was picking me up to bring me back to the United States. and that was the last of china.
i go back home still talking to this realm and it gets scary because the heart the thing happened again and i call the hospital on my own and I get sent there. The doctor asked me a bunch of questions and asked if i was hearing voices. I told him I was, which was a lie, because i was not hearing anything. either way, i got sent to the psychiatrics and they diagnosed me with depression. but they gave me some of that other stuff for voices i said I had and ironically after the program i wasn't hearing much from this other realm.
in conclusion, i don't know what to say. except recently i was searching through facebook and found that girl somehow. she is in fact going to a nursing school which i had in my mind in these scenarios. i just had to get all this off my chest, i don't really want to talk about the stuff that happened before, because i can't really piece it together. I'll just conclude that there are a lot of mysteries in this earth, supernatural and whatnot. As Napolean Hill would put it "faith is the only thing that can describe any mystery"...something like that...any ideas of how to approach a long lost aquaintance? really sorry for the length, except i don't have anybody to talk to so yall are the friends i can talk to. if you have the urge to flame this post by hatred of the futile nature, do it elsewhere.
thats prety much it
i ended up moving back with my mother who moved out about 30 minutes away. Doing this I hoped to see her again and I actually did one last time through chance. We hugged and then we went our seperate ways. I ended up living in my moms town for about a year and a half. Problems with my parents rose again and I was forced to live on the streets again. Being caught sleeping in abandoned apartments I got arrested. There my family intervened and sent me off to china for the rest of those 2 and a half years.
I'm studying in china living a pretty normal and healthy life, studying chinese and business administration. but at the end of my stay in china, I start having these crazy spurts of visions and "voices" in my mind. In my mind, I start having these scenarios of my sister in another realm. this was so strange to me talking to my sister in my head but she introduces me to that girl of my obsession. they both begin to lecture. they said i could succeed because i had a lot of hope. i couldn't get the meaning of them telling me this.
this is where it gets extremely psycho...that night I'm laying in my bed, and my heart suddenly stops beating. i was still in conversation with my supposed sister. Note that these were not voices in my head but they were like thoughts manifested as words through my tongue. anyway, it went like this: i had to hope to get my heart to fill up with blood. while it was doing this everything else "seemed" to have lost blood flow. One particular problem that suddenly arose was the fact that my genitals were contracting tremendously. I looked down and saw for a fact that my penis shrunk to a size of a peanut (it looked like a small prune)..and it was hardening to a point where i felt like if you touched it it would fall and crust off. I was getting so frightened i started talking to these tongues and they just told me to hope. I did...but I was so in unbelief of this so called 'reality' that I told my roommates to call the ambulance.
one of them looked up at me and fell asleep. He didn't care. But the other person in the room is from myranmar who I was also communicating to through these spiritual tongues. He was actually guiding me through the whole situation. He said through the tongues "are you sure?" ... he was trying to keep everything discreet it seemed. i kept crying out in pain "call the ambulance call the ambulance". i couldn't say it in chinese so i tried to make it out with the little language that I had. minutes later he gave me the phone. there were numbers already dialed on it and he just told me to listen to the person.
when he handed over the phone, it was that voice of the ****ing girl. it was damn close to her voice from what i remembered of it 4 years ago.... there were actual sirens in the backround. then she started whispering "hope for your balls... hope for your balls" I did start hoping for my balls because hope is an emotion that you create, and there was some blood flow that started coming back and i could feel it livening up again. then she started saying softly again "hope for your penis, hope for your penis" and there it started again. I couldnt believe it was actually the girl (at least it sounded like it) i told her while doing it..."this is soooooo hot"..because you don't know what it's like having a woman on the phone saving your balls and penis on the other line it was ****ing sexy. it was also extremely painful like i was getting kind of wary my body was trembling of all this work but she suddenly hung up on the phone on me rather rudely i should say. and i was left in my underpants sitting cross legged on the floor yelling "my balls have hope, my balls have hope"
get this, i keep communicating with this realm and i get this idea that she is a nurse sitting with my sister at the hospital. i got sent to the hospital therin that period and the doctors gave me this one pill for my heartbeat. i actually end up taking this girl on dates in my mind it sounds totally ****ing crazy but that's what i did, i took her out on a date of the chinese city and it looked like i was talking to myself but i was so emotional i didn't even care. it was quite a beautiful date i might add actually i took her to the hotel lobby, sat down on the chairs, and told her it was the place I liked to dream of big things. i took her to the club even too. it was a repeat of the time i took "my sister", days before, out with me except this time the club hadn't even opened yet, the lights were still on and they were still setting things up so i couldn't get girls numbers.
i got a phone call from my uncle saying that someone was picking me up to bring me back to the United States. and that was the last of china.
i go back home still talking to this realm and it gets scary because the heart the thing happened again and i call the hospital on my own and I get sent there. The doctor asked me a bunch of questions and asked if i was hearing voices. I told him I was, which was a lie, because i was not hearing anything. either way, i got sent to the psychiatrics and they diagnosed me with depression. but they gave me some of that other stuff for voices i said I had and ironically after the program i wasn't hearing much from this other realm.
in conclusion, i don't know what to say. except recently i was searching through facebook and found that girl somehow. she is in fact going to a nursing school which i had in my mind in these scenarios. i just had to get all this off my chest, i don't really want to talk about the stuff that happened before, because i can't really piece it together. I'll just conclude that there are a lot of mysteries in this earth, supernatural and whatnot. As Napolean Hill would put it "faith is the only thing that can describe any mystery"...something like that...any ideas of how to approach a long lost aquaintance? really sorry for the length, except i don't have anybody to talk to so yall are the friends i can talk to. if you have the urge to flame this post by hatred of the futile nature, do it elsewhere.
thats prety much it
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