"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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A lesson in history

The Duke

Master Don Juan
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In the 1920's there was a famous bootlegger named George Remus who owned several distilleries in Ohio and Kentucky and became extremely wealthy. He was very close to his wife and trusted her immensely. She did the financial books when his regular employees could not be trusted. He made his love for his wife widely known and the couple was said to have a very strong relationship.

In 1925, he was convicted of 3000 counts of violating liquor laws and sent to federal prison for two years. While in prison he bribed the guards/warden in return for special treatment. Word got out and an investigation took place. The man sent to investigate posed as a fellow inmate and got close to Remus. While the undercover investigator Frank Dodge was learning more and more about the Remus bribing prison officials, he was also getting closer to Remus's wife.

As Remus's wife(Imogene) and Dodge got closer, they fell in love and concocted a plan to sell off Remus's assets and hide as much of his money as they could while he was in prison. Soon Dodge resigned and the illicit couple carried out their plan to deplete Remus of his life long earnings.

Once Remus was out of prison in 1927 his wife filed for divorce. On the day of the divorce hearing, Remus had his driver run Imogene off the road and he got out of the car and shot her dead.

Remus pleaded guilty to temporary insanity and got out of the murder charge. He was left with only $100 of the multi-million dollar empire he created.

All of this from a woman a man deeply trusted. So many times we hear these stories of how women don't stand by their men during troubled times. Many of us have been burned by women we thought we could trust. Many have been left by women when down on their luck.

And here is a woman that had it all and not once was her opulent lifestyle ever threatened but chose to cheat, lie, and steal from the man that loved her deeply. I've heard way too many cases like this one just on a smaller scale not to take notice of why a man should never combine business with his wife if he must get married. Women are simply meant for pleasure. Keep it that way.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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