Now why on earth would I encourage anyone to become more A-hole like, the answer is I would not. Slightly yes, going over-board is the kiss of death for the majority. When you venture into this reality, you most certainly will meet disaster soon enough if you mis-calibrate.
The object is to tease the target slightly with a hint of humor. It’s a way to hit on the target and build the attraction indirectly. You deliver your neg to redirect prizability onto you, disguise the fact you are interested in them romantically. It often results in them having to qualify or redeem some attraction points with you.
Problems exist with the ****y portion of the whole ****y/funny ratio. If you have not yet mastered this delicate balance, odds are you will piss some people off. Since your goal is to seduce the target any type non-compliance will amount to failure to meet objective and there will be penalties. Tolerance levels vary from a person walking away, drink thrown in your face, to them getting verbally or physically upset.
The scenario is typical; guy walks into a bar, scopes a target and decides to throw a few negs, introduces some C & F. Intentions may have been good-natured, but the execution triggered the wrong response not too unlike the Hulk getting angry. Instead of the target being charmed they are now turned off, offended, angry and upset. What started as a simple disagreement or misunderstanding now quickly transforms into hostility.
Initiating with this type of opener may not always be perceived as charming. The person does not even know you from Jack and already you teasing them. Let’s take a look at actions/behaviors that can trigger unfavorable results;
1) CHOICE WORDS-watch the reactions you get when you make fun of someone’s mother, children, use the N-word, call someone a loser, poke fun at their expense, a few snide remarks could land you in anger alley.
2) ALPHA STARE-a simple prolonged look can trigger resentment from males as well as females if there is a hint of hostility. This is also true when dealing with angry dogs, never look them directly in the eye for more than a brief moment.
3) DISPLAY SUPERIORITY-announcing a persons stupidity may not always return favorable results. Anytime you do something faster/better than someone else they immediately feel threatened, throw in some boasting or toot your own horn and you can expect resentment. Simon from American Idol (the very first season) was so pompous that Randy wanted to kick his butt on live T.V.
4) INVASION OF PERSONAL SPACE-how many times have we seen fights break out when someone accidentally bumped into another person, cut someone off in traffic, cut ahead of you inline, a slight shove, smoking, loud noises, etc. Females who are hostile hate to be touched you are invading their personal space, smothering is another good example.
5) CHANGE-a lot of people like routine, they are used to doing things their own way. Simple actions like changing the channel, moving an object to a new location, replacing something old, doing anything a different way can all trigger hostility.
6) DEFIANCE-simple disagreements, non-compliance, hint of resistance, informing a person they were wrong, correcting them, offering them an ultimatum, forbidding them from doing/saying something, etc can set certain individuals off.
7) ACCUSATIONS-accuse someone of lying, cheating, hiding, any wrong doings can get under peoples skin instantly. Doing any of the above can also trigger hostile actions.
8) ANTI-SOCIAL-not being a team player, silent treatment and even being shy can all lead to people not welcoming your proposals.
9) DESTRUCTION-breaking, disposing, tampering, removing someone’s personal property intentional or by accident is a sure-fire way to get them upset.
10) INTERUPTIONS-objecting, constantly interrupting, calling/texting too much, complaining, controlling, closed minded, self-fish, etc can lead to frustration.
SO WHATS THE SOLUTION------------------------
If you find yourself in any of the above situations recovering from these types of scenarios is way too difficult and just takes too long. If you choose to engage (even if they capitulate) results often create resentment. By the same token it’s sort of a double-edged sword-capitulate and they walk all over you, stand up and you run the risk of getting hurt. Saying don’t get mad just does not work in reality. Some viable solutions are needed (keep in mind recovery times vary).
1) PROACTIVE-obviously you want to try to avoid confrontation in the first place by displaying likeable qualities.
2) APPLOGISE IMMEDIATLY –if they get overly offended, resort to offering an explanation and be sure to mention that you were joking.
3) OFFER COMPENSATION-shaking hands, offer to buy them a drink, flowers, small gift, some monetary compensations, etc may smooth relations.
4) DISTANCE-another good tactic might be to remove yourself from the equation. The idea here is out of sight out of mind. Withdrawing from interactions can slow down the hostility considerably.
5) EXPLANTION-admit fault then mention a viable reason why you did/said certain things, explain your own situation and how you came to that particular course of action.
6) PROJECTION-appeal to their softer side, personalize it by saying you have kids at home, desperate, you are brand new, didn’t know/not aware, it’s your first time, inexperienced, won’t ever happen again, etc.
7) FAULTER-reveal a flaw, mistake, do something stupid, laugh at your error. Make it appear you have no clue how to resolve this and enlist their assistance.
8) SAD LOOK-appear like you are sad/upset walk away, remain silent, pout, cry if you have to, make them believe they are superior and have offended you.
9) SEEK HELP-If you made a huge mistake and have lost some respect a good course of action is to be humble and redeem yourself. Go get some help from others, insert famous icon here (Nixon, Bill Clinton, Mel Gibson, Kramer from Seinfeld, etc). I have wronged and I need help, I am so sorry, I made a mistake.
10) BUILD RAPPORT-BEFORE you offend build up some attraction points, allow them some time to calm down, you may get a another chance.
* another simple solution would be to lable it a dead set and move on. The ability to recover is a must have trait if you want continual success,
The object is to tease the target slightly with a hint of humor. It’s a way to hit on the target and build the attraction indirectly. You deliver your neg to redirect prizability onto you, disguise the fact you are interested in them romantically. It often results in them having to qualify or redeem some attraction points with you.
Problems exist with the ****y portion of the whole ****y/funny ratio. If you have not yet mastered this delicate balance, odds are you will piss some people off. Since your goal is to seduce the target any type non-compliance will amount to failure to meet objective and there will be penalties. Tolerance levels vary from a person walking away, drink thrown in your face, to them getting verbally or physically upset.
The scenario is typical; guy walks into a bar, scopes a target and decides to throw a few negs, introduces some C & F. Intentions may have been good-natured, but the execution triggered the wrong response not too unlike the Hulk getting angry. Instead of the target being charmed they are now turned off, offended, angry and upset. What started as a simple disagreement or misunderstanding now quickly transforms into hostility.
Initiating with this type of opener may not always be perceived as charming. The person does not even know you from Jack and already you teasing them. Let’s take a look at actions/behaviors that can trigger unfavorable results;
1) CHOICE WORDS-watch the reactions you get when you make fun of someone’s mother, children, use the N-word, call someone a loser, poke fun at their expense, a few snide remarks could land you in anger alley.
2) ALPHA STARE-a simple prolonged look can trigger resentment from males as well as females if there is a hint of hostility. This is also true when dealing with angry dogs, never look them directly in the eye for more than a brief moment.
3) DISPLAY SUPERIORITY-announcing a persons stupidity may not always return favorable results. Anytime you do something faster/better than someone else they immediately feel threatened, throw in some boasting or toot your own horn and you can expect resentment. Simon from American Idol (the very first season) was so pompous that Randy wanted to kick his butt on live T.V.
4) INVASION OF PERSONAL SPACE-how many times have we seen fights break out when someone accidentally bumped into another person, cut someone off in traffic, cut ahead of you inline, a slight shove, smoking, loud noises, etc. Females who are hostile hate to be touched you are invading their personal space, smothering is another good example.
5) CHANGE-a lot of people like routine, they are used to doing things their own way. Simple actions like changing the channel, moving an object to a new location, replacing something old, doing anything a different way can all trigger hostility.
6) DEFIANCE-simple disagreements, non-compliance, hint of resistance, informing a person they were wrong, correcting them, offering them an ultimatum, forbidding them from doing/saying something, etc can set certain individuals off.
7) ACCUSATIONS-accuse someone of lying, cheating, hiding, any wrong doings can get under peoples skin instantly. Doing any of the above can also trigger hostile actions.
8) ANTI-SOCIAL-not being a team player, silent treatment and even being shy can all lead to people not welcoming your proposals.
9) DESTRUCTION-breaking, disposing, tampering, removing someone’s personal property intentional or by accident is a sure-fire way to get them upset.
10) INTERUPTIONS-objecting, constantly interrupting, calling/texting too much, complaining, controlling, closed minded, self-fish, etc can lead to frustration.
SO WHATS THE SOLUTION------------------------
If you find yourself in any of the above situations recovering from these types of scenarios is way too difficult and just takes too long. If you choose to engage (even if they capitulate) results often create resentment. By the same token it’s sort of a double-edged sword-capitulate and they walk all over you, stand up and you run the risk of getting hurt. Saying don’t get mad just does not work in reality. Some viable solutions are needed (keep in mind recovery times vary).
1) PROACTIVE-obviously you want to try to avoid confrontation in the first place by displaying likeable qualities.
2) APPLOGISE IMMEDIATLY –if they get overly offended, resort to offering an explanation and be sure to mention that you were joking.
3) OFFER COMPENSATION-shaking hands, offer to buy them a drink, flowers, small gift, some monetary compensations, etc may smooth relations.
4) DISTANCE-another good tactic might be to remove yourself from the equation. The idea here is out of sight out of mind. Withdrawing from interactions can slow down the hostility considerably.
5) EXPLANTION-admit fault then mention a viable reason why you did/said certain things, explain your own situation and how you came to that particular course of action.
6) PROJECTION-appeal to their softer side, personalize it by saying you have kids at home, desperate, you are brand new, didn’t know/not aware, it’s your first time, inexperienced, won’t ever happen again, etc.
7) FAULTER-reveal a flaw, mistake, do something stupid, laugh at your error. Make it appear you have no clue how to resolve this and enlist their assistance.
8) SAD LOOK-appear like you are sad/upset walk away, remain silent, pout, cry if you have to, make them believe they are superior and have offended you.
9) SEEK HELP-If you made a huge mistake and have lost some respect a good course of action is to be humble and redeem yourself. Go get some help from others, insert famous icon here (Nixon, Bill Clinton, Mel Gibson, Kramer from Seinfeld, etc). I have wronged and I need help, I am so sorry, I made a mistake.
10) BUILD RAPPORT-BEFORE you offend build up some attraction points, allow them some time to calm down, you may get a another chance.
* another simple solution would be to lable it a dead set and move on. The ability to recover is a must have trait if you want continual success,