A fine line between insult and c&f?

[solo1]

Anyway tonight me and 2 other friends were at the pool hall. There's a waitress there that we're cool with and usually talk with.

Anyway my friend John (who's usually shy and only recently has begun to talk to her) said something which i thought was somewhat insulting to her. She came to take our orders...and he said something along the lines of "you have owl eyes" and mentioned how we should have a camcorder and record her so she can see herself.

Her initial reaction didnt appear delighted, but smiled it off. And the way he said it wasnt meant to be a joke either.

What do you guys think about what he said, and the fine line between insult/ c&f??

would you say it depends more on HOW you say it affects how it's interpreted or WHAT's said?

 

[Iamnotacrook]

If he wasn't joking, it obviously wasn't c&f...

You are talking about neg hits. Why neg hit a waitress? Is she a stuck-up attention-***** on a self-imposed pedestal?

 

[Jukeboxhero]

This is one of the reasons I'm hesitant about using C&F. It seems you have to establish the right rapport or say it in a way that indicates some humour. Of course I haven't got the book yet so I'm not exactly aware of how to make it sound like a joke and not an insult. I'm guessing the best thing for him to do is improve his tone of voice so it sounds like he's joking.

I'm also curious....did u say that he didn't mean it as a joke or didn't sound like he was joking? Either way, he apparently isn't pulling off C&F correctly

 

[Iamnotacrook]

This is one of the reasons I'm hesitant about using C&F. It seems you have to establish the right rapport or say it in a way that indicates some humour. Of course I haven't got the book yet so I'm not exactly aware of how to make it sound like a joke and not an insult. I'm guessing the best thing for him to do is improve his tone of voice so it sounds like he's joking.

Uh, yeah... or he could just smile/laugh while/after saying it....................

 

[stalluproar]

Its not so much what you say, but how you say it. It sounds like the way your friend conveyed his body language while saying owl eyes wasn't so great.

 

[Dr Box]

Hmmmm personally if that was my friend I would have hit him for being a stooge, it is not only how you say it but what particular attribute you neg hit her about..........example saying something about clothes, shoes, purse or even hair (to a lesser extent) is ok cause it is something that can be easily changed. Anything pyshical i.e, height, weight, eyes, hairy arms are not so good because they can't really change those feature to easily....well that is just my opnion and it seems to work for me.

 

[solo1]

Originally posted by Iamnotacrook
If he wasn't joking, it obviously wasn't c&f...

You are talking about neg hits. Why neg hit a waitress? Is she a stuck-up attention-***** on a self-imposed pedestal?

nope no she's actually the sweetest person you'll ever come across. very friendly to everyone. And since we're regulars she's very friendly to us and chats.

This is one of the reasons I'm hesitant about using C&F. It seems you have to establish the right rapport or say it in a way that indicates some humour. Of course I haven't got the book yet so I'm not exactly aware of how to make it sound like a joke and not an insult. I'm guessing the best thing for him to do is improve his tone of voice so it sounds like he's joking.

I'm also curious....did u say that he didn't mean it as a joke or didn't sound like he was joking? Either way, he apparently isn't pulling off C&F correctly

what i meant was he didnt sound like he was joking...so it may have come off a little strange. In addition he doesnt really have any rapport with her because he only acknowledged her recently.

Its not so much what you say, but how you say it. It sounds like the way your friend conveyed his body language while saying owl eyes wasn't so great.

in a social setting with strangers or in general he's not exactly good at conversing, and particularly not with women. And if i were in her shoes, i would've considered that an insult...afterall he did sound serious about it.

Hmmmm personally if that was my friend I would have hit him for being a stooge, it is not only how you say it but what particular attribute you neg hit her about..........example saying something about clothes, shoes, purse or even hair (to a lesser extent) is ok cause it is something that can be easily changed. Anything pyshical i.e, height, weight, eyes, hairy arms are not so good because they can't really change those feature to easily....well that is just my opnion and it seems to work for me.

Yes he deserved being hit, but he's just being himself afterall. jewelry and clothing is always great, as everytime we see her she's always wearing something different and me and my friend neg or compliment on it.

 

[Gonzalo]

"You have owl eyes"


Ok, first of all. What's "****y" about that phrase? Nothing.

Second, how it is funny, depends, nobody cares how funny it is to the person who utters the comment, but rather to the receiver. Did the waitress find it funny? Yes=good, no=bad.


Busting girls' balls and the whole CF (when you actually make fun at yourself in a ****y kinda way) works only if you have the audience --her-- finding it funny. Context is everything.

G

 

[wind20mph]

C&F... I didn't think that thought fits LOL. being ****y is only used when one's very cold. and hit it with joke if it appears to be negative. But Generally... I don't think so.

How about flirting instead of C & F?

It has Better results.